Guys, I really need your help.. (2015 report)

What does each relapse mean - just one instance of PMO on that day (unless otherwise indicated)? Or, more than once in each relapse binge? By the way, what is you month of birth?

 

One approach is to focus on completely changing your life for the best version of you possible instead of focusing on ways to quit PMO. How do you vision yourself in a year or two from now? 10 years from now? What can you do to go in that direction? Make your journal about how you're forcing yourself to live a better life. When your life improves, it's easier to not succumb to PMO.

HIGHLY RECOMMENDED READ

 

Okay, thanks for the clarifications. I only asked your month of birth because you seem to have a lot of recovery energy around January and February. Perhaps its related to the energy of a New Year.

 

@seth nailed it.
Long story short :
- I've been trying to get rid of PMO for 8 years
- Failed
- Then started to get a new grip on my life
- Came here 2 years ago
- Had some results, but ended up failing again and then stopped coming here
- Decided to focus on my life, on myself, and on the core issues (can't say no, fear of abandonment, always pleasing others)
- Worked hard on this and on myself
- Came back here a few weeks ago : I'm curruntly on my way to beat my previous record with little to no efforts (it never felt so easy)

What are your core issues, what are you unhappy about in your life ?
Porn is not : porn is the way you make your life less painfull by adding some pleasure. But it is destroying you bit by bit.
PMO is a symptom, not a cause (read the Highly Recomended Read left by @seth).

 

Are there certain lessons you learned from different relapses? Or from the overall pattern in 2015? I feel that is one way to actually take advantage of the addiction and turn it into a positive experience.

One thing I've learned lately is that I seem to do better when I work on self-discipline in multiple areas of my life. For example, I am trying to: 1) abstain from PMO, 2) wake up early every day and exercise, 3) practice intermittent fasting. I feel I am gaining better overall control of my life. And it is nice if I fail in one area, to know that I was successful in another.

Keep up the fight, and thanks for sharing!

 

This causes me some concern. I've found generally the first week or two are really easy when I'm super committed. I get pumped. I get motivated. I become enthusiastic. Before I know it, it's been 2 weeks without having an orgasm or even wanting to look at porn.

The key here is consistency. What I'm trying to do for myself (like I described in my previous post) is come up with a recipe of things to do everyday so I stay motivated everyday. For example, reading a list of personal reasons why I quit porn, a personal list of my favorite articles, etc.

 

@Machin I just noticed you have the same link under your signature. Have you always had that?

 

Nope : I just followed the link you left, and I found it so important that I decided to show it in my signature.
This guy has found the words to say what I thought.
I don't agree with everything he writes (some things like finding your life goal can take years), but it's gold.

In the same way, I think you will like THIS.

 

Machin - Excellent article. I'm happy to say I do all 6 of the keystone habits, and I totally agree! Thanks for sharing - I'm keeping that one in my folder of "Good Reads"

 

What seems to help is to find something to do in those times you are most vulnerable...concentrate on your feelings at those times and find out what feeling is giving you the urge to use. there might be something in your life thats missing