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Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by DeepSeaDiver, Apr 23, 2019.
Fetishes where im being f#*ked by a man.
I see. Yes understandable, not really a comforting event for a straight man .
Btw, speaking of your issue ... fetish sounds better to me than mental illness.
[QUOTE = "Michael1995, post: 2126501, miembro: 339391"] Fetiches donde estoy siendo # # ked por un hombre. [/ QUOTE]
amigo como estas? tengo la misma situación que tu, lidio con esto todo el tiempo.
Unfortunately I have had encounters at the gloryhole. I top when I am there but afterwards I feel very disgusted, unsafe and filthy. I would force myself to go to the bathroom to 'cleanse' and dump whatever kind of cleaner I had in my car on my dick right away (usually mouthwash) then Id come up and scrub my dick and at times I would use alcohol. My past visit I pratically had a panic attack and ran to get PEP meds as a just in case. The price of the meds, difficulty of getting them, and the inconvenience of them are hopefully enough to keep my stupid ass from going back... Im sure rebooting will help as well.
Yes, Alcohol is definitely a starting point for me too to go crazy. It makes me lose my inhibitions, gets me into further trouble, also psychologically. I could manage to stop drinking on a daily basis, and on the days I drink, reduce the amount.
I feel much better now.
Warning may contain triggers :
Like others have said here, porn can warp your sexuality and perceived attractions to things. In my case it was femdom and cuckolding type porn, things I actually ended up paying escorts to do to me, but when I look back now I wasn’t into it at all, just at that time the porn altered my tastes and it took over my sexual desires.
I want to puke when I think of some
of the things I did..all because I was addicted and because porn warped my sexuality. To give you an example, I was into cuckolding and there was one point where I sucked a man’s dick and then ate his creampie out of the woman, yes ashamed to admit it but I am not gay but I did that because I was like in a trance, addicted to the idea of it but I’m not gay whatsoever.
So some people who identify as straight but engage in sexual encounters with men may very well just be hypnotized by the fantasy of it, the porn has warped their minds.
Being gay or not is just a label, your goal should always be happy, if you want to have heterosexual relationships, focus on that. There you can realize what you really want. Never forget how important life is to be happy.
Just don't identify with the thought, and it'll be fine. They're just thoughts.
he is Bi. its not neessary that if someone is Bi he/she is into both genders equally. he is more into girls romantically and sexually. In other words, Bi does not have to be exclusively homosexual or heterosexual, but can feel varying degrees of both.
New guy here. First post, this thread convinced me to join
I'm on day 13 nofap, and I'm hoping to make it longer than my last streak (about 45 days).
For the past maybe 8 years (I'm 26) I have suppressed my homosexual tendencies. I understand the conflict when it comes to labeling, but I have always seen myself as a heterosexual man. I have been with plenty of men in those 8 years, and only ever had sex once, it was with a married gay couple. After every time, I have felt disgusted with myself, rushing home to brush my teeth, take a shower, and hide myself from family and friends. I fully believe that porn has created my sexual desires so far from how I actually want to be. Gay porn has been the dominant part of what I would watch, however I would sometimes find something in the straight department. I started feeling depressed and upset with myself when I would indulge in gay porn, and then it turned to feeling that way anytime I fapped. Still, I sometimes get turned on when I see a good looking man, as I do with women, too.
I do not like being with men, just their bodies. This stays in my head, and I want to completely remove the first half: "Sexually gay, romantically straight"
You say you are sexually gay and romantically straight? Correct?
A good portion of the time I feel sexually gay, however I don't enjoy it, and it hasn't always been that way. I'm not sure how my words are being used against me here... Maybe I posted in the wrong forum...
All is fine, we are just trying to understand.
You say it hasn‘t always been this way? What? Was there a time you enjoyed to be sexually gay? Or was there a time you were not sexually gay at all?
I used to be completely straight (no homoerotic feelings whatsoever), and on occasion I feel that way again, which is nice. Need to understand, every time my brain is aroused by men either online or in person, I don't feel like I'm completely enjoying it. I think it's just something I have gotten into since watching P online from maybe 14 y/o and hardly ever having a long steady relationship. I honestly think I just need to be dating women and those tendencies will subside, I just need to overcome the PMO addiction
Yep, stop watching P! You think you manage to stop watching P?
It's difficult, especially when I'm not working and alone (I also live alone). It's been two weeks since I've MO. Last night I got myself into [straight] P quite a bit, but restrained myself from doing anything, which was tough.. Hence me joining this forum today!
Great you joined. Get clear on what you want. Stop watching P. Start writing a journal. Get an AP if that helps. How does that sound?
what is an AP?
I won’t bore you with my story but it’d like to give you some solid background. Please provide some advice
As a child (3-5) I had already began fantasising about thoughts of sexual acts towards my female nursery teacher
Later during this time age 5-6 I remember me and some other kids used to touch each other’s genitals - nothing else. Not sure if this is normal however nothing else ever happened and we moved on, this happened maybe 5 or 6 times
Fast forward - my first girlfriend at 16 by which time I’d already started masturbating - we had lots of sex which I used to love, and from then on I’d have multiple female sexual partners, never once considered anything other than sleeping with women. It just did not occur to me that I would feel anything else.
Over the next few years I’d discovered porn and it was something that myself and my friends all used to watch - I never once thought it could be a bad thing to binge on porn (again always straight porn) I used to love how dirty and raw the porn was.
After years of increasingly more hardcore genres ( whilst still being with multiple female partners, id actually experienced a sort of ED or PIED during this period however I never gave it a thought really? This added lots of performance anxiety going forward in which I needed to feel really comfortable with the partner to have sex, however never stopped me lusting for female body and genitalia.
One day during porn I stumbled upon gay porn which immediately I new that this wasn’t something that my brain was accustomed to or felt comfortable with however I felt that it aroused me, anyway I did masturbate to this and never considered this to be anything. I would go back to straight porn and carry on as normal but then every now and again I’d have this craving that would literally give me a rush, after I’d finished watching it I would feel disgusted and even sometimes try to switch to female thoughts during.
This carried on for 4 years during which time I’d dated, kissed, fallen in love with and had some real hardcore good sex with women but then sometimes couldn’t perform.
September last year I googled “can’t feel aroused with girlfriend and someone commented - “maybe your gay” I’ve always suffered with some form of OCD or anxiety disorder so this literally kicked off a debilitating bout of HOCD that I’m still suffering with. I haven’t watched gay porn since April however have fapped, had sex and looked at female porn during this period (even though I have tried not to) what worries me is I keep thinking I can’t get hard to straight sex only gay porn but I do not find males appealing (yes I can recognise an attractive male however have never felt any attraction towards a real life male, when I think of anything else but a female relationship my brain switches off, it is literally not something I ever want to pursue)
Does anyone have any experience or advice that could support with what to do? I really miss having my sex drive geared towards women and not this pretentious gay porn that my brain is craving - is it possible whatever I have done .. I’ll get my craving for women back?