I just relapsed after 23 wonderful, odd, flatlining, PMO-free days. I don't plan on relapsing again, and I want to talk about how the gym has helped me get through this particularly difficult day. Clearly I have some work to do. But during those 23 days, I hit the gym. HARD. I ran on alternating days for anywhere between 20 minutes and 45 minutes. I lifted a little. I used a stairmaster. I did pushups and situps. I put in a full hour of sweat every time, to the point that my shirt was always soaked through. I made it a goal to burn between 700 and 1000 calories every workout. I'm a stocky man, and for me a healthy weight is 215 lbs. I started 24 days ago at 227. After relapsing, I didn't know how I could look in the mirror. I was really ashamed today. I had been so proud of my progress, and I failed myself and my brothers and sisters in this community. I went to the gym and ran as long and as far as I could, for an hour, burning 1115 calories. I could not outrun this relapse and the pain in my heart, nor the fog in my brain. Then I went home. And I did look in the mirror. I noticed that my jawline is more visible. I pinched my stomach, and far less fat folded between my fingers. I stepped on a scale after dinner: 214 lbs. Yes, I relapsed. But during those 23 days I improved. My brain may not be rewired, but my body is something I feel more proud of. I will keep this going. I will surpass 23 days in this next month, and my brain and body will eventually sync up. The nofap lifestyle includes all of these positive changes, so even in the darkest hours, not all is lost.