Gym Triggers

If it’s not prompting you to wack off or watch porn I wouldn’t worry about it. Sneaking a peak at the “scenery” isn’t an issue unless you’re seeking it out compulsively (e.g. going to the gym JUST to ogle). Otherwise, welcome that real women are catching your eye instead of the pixel people.

 

Yeah this is a huge huge huge trigger for me. I have an obsession with women in tights/leggings/workout/spandex to the point where it damaged my relationship with women. And yeah they look very very very good in it even though the 'fetish' aspect has declined with me as I have done repeated 90+ days.

Ok, I am only on day 99 on this quit but here it goes:

Really examine your behavior. For example I was often unconsciously p-subbing looking up exercise techniques. Now I make sure to always choose the video demo with a guy.

When you do anything re-examine and ask "If there were no women in workout clothes there would I still be doing this? If no, you know the answer, don't go. If yes, second question "is there an alternative without women?" do you really really really need to go that gym at that time? I really wish there were all male gyms as in days of old... I have since ditched gym weights and use home gym stuff and body weight. I like it better and I get a better work out. Maybe you can start an all male weight club in a garage or something -think of alternatives and it might be even better and cheaper training (see Ross Training)

If you really really really have to go then adapt a mindset that anything that gets you off focus is getting in the way of your training. That way you start to look at it as a loss.

If you do see a woman try to look at the eyes or face - it will remind you she is a human being and not to objectify her- and it will keep your eyes off other areas . If you do see a woman admire her beauty but remember that any sexual fantasy is not with her it's with you're own mind. And remember women notice you ogling even if you think you are being clever and it exudes a creep vibe. That mindset really helps be stay clean. When you ogle or look you are giving up power.

We all have times we slip up don't beat yourself up over it. If you find yourself dwelling, just correct yourself.

I also swim (train tri) - and a huge trigger is sometimes women gliding by in the lane next you not two feet away - with clear googles it's pretty triggering - so I switch lanes or let my goggles get a little foggy. I can still see clear enough to swim but not clear enough to fantasize -but also when I realized how much it was throwing off my stroke, I stopped looking altogether - both consciously and unconsciously.

 

That is why i had to quit going there.
It us absurd, they are craving attention.
What they are wearing should never be allowed. This is violation to our rights.

 

I don't know about a violation of rights but many (but not all) do wear it for attention though it does have practical functionality -this is true in swimming for men and women - tighter fitting clothing makes you swim better.

I do think it is ridiculous that 'rights' or 'equality' laws don't allow men only (but do allow women only) times in gyms and pools or separate facilities.

I do wonder why women who do the same sport as men - track field sports for example or volley ball have to wear revealing clothing and men don't - the 'its for function' argument is wrong unless our anatomies are even more different than I thought. That or men are wearing super in-efficient clothing

 

I never comment on this kind of threads, but I'm sixty shades of confusion. Women come in the gym to train. They wear what they consider comfortable and efficient for their own bodies. That's all. I myself very look forward to the day I'm comfortable enough in my body to wear some Gymshark stuff. What bothers me here is putting the blame on women, as if it was a one sided issue.

 

If it was really to work out then women would put it on regardless of body type. As I mentioned for swimming its really a necessity to wear a swimsuit that is close fitting to get through the water efficiently.

you seem to be speaking for 'all' women that 'all' women wear clothes just because they are comfortable. Come on. I am not saying all women but there are plenty of women that like to showcase their bodies in yoga pants and even admit it or pose on instagram doing it.

 

That is not you I was referring to, dw. I cannot speak for all women of course, but believe me, the very solid majority of the girls who come in to the gym have very specific reasons to do so. If you're not coming into the gym to get triggered, then you shouldn't have to worry. Focus on your own training, on your own reason to be there. Women don't care.

This is obviously not what I was saying. Of course they do, they trained hard for their bodies, I really don't see the problem. I'm going to be painfully harsh here but men being aroused is not the concern of women who come in to train for themselves. Again, not generalising but I would bet that most women work on themselves for themselves and not for men.

 

Not obvious:

It sounds to me like you are speaking for all women -that all women do this because x.

Right so they can just sit at home and admire themselves.. come on.. yes self improvement is important for many but for men and women especially younger ones making oneself a fit potential mate is pretty important and ingrained into our species.

So you would tell a young woman to go to a middle eastern country or India and dress in yoga pants because men being aroused are not her concern?

It's this sort of oblivious narcissistic selfishness that is among the worst aspect of feminism which literally is a cancer on society. "I am a strong powerful woman" (but need the state to protect me and will scream harassment if men stare at me - at least men i don't like - too long)

I would be all for separate gyms for men and women that would solve the problem -but women want to have their cake and want to eat it too.

 

I don't care how it makes me look - I'm not going to answer you. We have too different opinions and I do not think we will find common ground. Have a good day

 

It is not blaming, but they have to be more responsible with their clothing choices.
Men everywhere are struggling.
They either have to escape to porn , or to suffer in silence.

 

OMG! A fellow Ross Training admirer... I am surprised

-J29

 

Yes I would say simply noticing women is a good way to rewire your brain towards that natural bonding process.

You have to judge it as you go, if it's too much of a struggle and you go off track, then it may be time to make a change. Otherwise, it is great to be amongst real people with the same goals!

For me, it was a bit too distracting when I quit the gym 1 year ago. Since then I've been doing home workouts with a Bullworker and made better gains. This is just my personal experience, and could have a lot to do with zero time waiting for people to give up equipment and what not. But I digress...

I would break it down like this:

- Noticing women (she's hot - 3 seconds max) = good for recovery
- Ogling women (looks at yoga pants for 5+ seconds) = not good at all
- Connecting with women (woman walks past and you smile and make eye contact) = great and should motivate you more!

 

Yes and important to note if you do # 2 (ogling) you're not likely to ever get to 3!

 

I wonder can you change up the times you go there? Or even change gyms? Usually there is some place which will be open 24/7 and won't be full of people at certain times.

Honestly this is one reason I won't go back until I get this PMO thing dealt with. I can go and ignore women (and hey, most of them ignore me too lol), but then sometimes I would be on one machine and a girl starts off on the machine right in front of me, facing me, and it becomes plain awkward I have to say...

So you're right, sometimes it's just accidentally seeing them and it's too much. It does sound like this environment is triggering, but there's also the obvious benefits of exercise. Tough call... Maybe you could try a week in a different environment or free trial at another gym, and see if there's any change?

 

Not a psychologist and this isn't health advice:

Keep going to the gym. This is exposure therapy. You need to take the power of these triggers away. By witnessing these women, eventually, they will disappear. You will not care.

When hiding they will always be present, because they are demons. Demons like it when you are passive.