We hear about skills for quitting: Being content is a great one. Pray about it and practice it – it really helps. But you can focus on that all week and still fall. Then we hear about turning aggressively from sin. Pray about it and practice it – it really helps. But you can focus on that all week and still fall. My skill for quitting today is to be around people. Church groups, 12 step, chess club, sports etc. Be active and be around people. Plus, if you quit your addiction and then can't shine your new found light to anyone... is that a perfect success? Pray about being around people and practice it – it really helps. But you can focus on that all week and still fall. 90% of us try a skill for a while and then move on to some other miracle cure. Instead of doing that, focus on turning those skills into habits because we need a bunch of new habits if we are going to quit. Tip: Repent fully of all your sin. Then seek the Lord and ask for direction on which skills you should turn into habits first. Then start to form habits that will give you the power to quit. I use a notebook to plan new habits. I put notes by my TV and computer. I have a specific time for my new habit. I make a decision to do my new habit every day and then do them every day. Key point: Decide on 2-4 skills that you want to make into habits and get started with those. Every few days add another 1 or 2. Now you can see why you need a notebook (plus, going through the notebook is your reminder of what to do). Reality: Some will pull this off perfectly. I won't (yeah I know, I wrote the article). But I am going to try to follow my own advice. And if I mess it up, I will try again. Reward yourself: Giving yourself a tiny reward when you succeed, will remind you that quitting will give you huge rewards in life. Action plan: On page one of the notebook have a list of your skills for quitting. We can add to this list all the time. On page 2 are the new habits. When, where and how will we do them. Have a desired goal – 5 new great habits this month. And have a minimum goal – 2 great new habits. It takes 66 days to form a new habit. The results can be shockingly good. Thanks to STA: For the full article click here https://stoptheaddictions.com/home-page/sex-porn-freedom/5-ways-to-stop-porn-sex-porn-freedom-day-5/
Habits form because our brains seek to be more efficient. When it realises we are doing something regularly, it strengthens the neural connections that enable us to do it without thinking, i.e. subconsciously. If our brains automate the things we do on a regular basis we don't need to spend cognitive energy thinking about doing them and we can apply conscious effort elsewhere. We fall into both bad habits and good habits because of this. We PMO because of it. Part of my recovery has become to make resistance a habit. A while back, when I waking up tempted, I redirected the energy I would use to M to rubbing my arm. I did this more and more and it became automatic. When I woke up tempted, I'd be rubbing my arm before I even thought about doing it. It had become a habit that resulted in me PMO-ing less frequently. I know this kind of habit isn't quite what you are referring it, but I feel the science of habitual behaviours is fascinating and relevant. Habits are hard to break, so now I feel odd if I don't rub my arm when I wake up tempted. Referring to the habits you mention, I feel odd if I skip church. I feel odd if I don't do my regular exercise routine. These things have become habits and to do them has become second nature.
Any habit that helps us quit is a great habit. This week I am going to work on improving the fruits of the Spirit in my life.
Porn watching is similar to liquor which is a downer. The alcoholic considers that 17 drinks make them cheerful. But downers make us go down. Sure, there can be short-term pleasure, but not real joy since the activity is a downer. Sooner or later it takes you down. With porn, a bit like with drugs, you will have shaped a habit in your mind’s chemical circuitry. Web porn has rewired your mind so that when triggered, you think of porn, and begin searching for it. Rewiring is changing from porn once you encounter signals for it, with other activities. When a lust situation tempts you, you could pray, Father, keep me from temptation. We are switching bad habits into good habits. The overutilization of porn dulls dopamine receptors. But strenuous workouts have been shown to extend dopamine receptors. Lifting weights or running (check with your specialist before you start a strenuous program) pumps up the dopamine. Working out could be a smart action and it makes a difference with stress. Finally, once you work up to a great exercise routine you may feel better (it may take a week or three). Once you feel better you will have better self-control and may be able to halt negative sexual behavior.
There is a great book called the Energy Bus which teaches us to be more positive. It says: “Always try to be persistently positive. Today I am going to recommend working on three new habits. Firstly, read great books. They are great for distraction, and they help us learn new habits. Secondly, work on being more positive every day. We are only 10% as likely to fall when we “think” that we are having a good day. Thirdly, joy increases when we do things for other people. In her great book Making Good Habits, Joyce Meyer noted: “If we have as goals, #1, the happiness of others, and #2, the improvement of mankind. Then, we will be five times happier.” If we are always in deep thought about the new habits we want to form. We will have a lot less time to think the way we used to think. Lastly, work on a system to remind yourself about what you are going “To Do” to change every day. Then plug into your system daily to make change simple and effective.
Everyone should have a top 4 new habits list. Things like forming the habit to turn aggressively from sin. Daily Bible reading. Praying about purpose, and increasing in love. We need to get very excited when we are focused on forming habits of new activities. Or increased prayer, or better relationships, or increased love. The more positive habits you have, the more your hope increases, and the more that joy will start to enter your life.
Do we have to form new habits? The Bible says: “The wages of sin is death.” Something always dies or partially dies when we go back to our old habits. Many people think I have over-the-top advice. Notes, repetition, memorization, etc. But if you have the habit of repeating the above paragraph three times per day you will someday change your thinking. My long list of things to do seems better and better as compared to the facts of that first paragraph. Today I had a rotten day, but my new habit is to meditate on a variety of great Bible verses. The first one is 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18: “Rejoice always. Pray without ceasing, and give thanks in all circumstances.” Following that verse during a rotten day is very interesting. Instead of getting mad at the world or feeling sorry for myself, I am trying to do what the verse says. The fact is... rotten days happen, even when you are on a better road, even when you are starting towards an increase in your blessing. But maybe the increased blessing is found in digging into scripture. Doing exactly what the verse says, living and rejoicing as Biblical Paul would. Okay, my attempts are probably not at all like Paul's. But they are better than the old me. I am up to 13 verses for meditation and it is shocking to me how they are coming alive for me. Today, pick a new habit or two and start plans for two more. Today I added the verse from paragraph one to my verses for meditation. Today rewrite that verse for how your future is going to be. Something like: “The wages of new habits is a great life and the beginning of joy.”
I do not think your advice is over-the-top at all. If we are not entirely committed to Christ, we cannot follow him where he leads. If he is not Lord over every part of us, we will never know his peace deep down. If his truth is not in us at every waking moment, we quickly begin to forget his goodness. We cannot get too engaged with him! Romans 6:23: "For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord."
Get new habit ideas from Google. Also, search for good things to think about. Start a notebook to chart 2 new good habits to do or to think about daily. Fill it up so that you can someday have the habit of doing and thinking about new things.
Consider the habit of turning to scripture to solve your problems. If your energy is low search “Verses strength” and study and pray over that. If your anger is high study/pray “Verses anger,” if your relationships stink, study/pray “Verses contentment.” Why? Because problems lead back to habits. But, if we work on solving them God's way we get closer to God. Being closer to God helps us fight temptation. Second, solving problems Biblically allows Jesus' light to shine through us. A Christian who is mad at their spouse, coworker, teacher, or brother does not promote the Kingdom of God. Instead, forgive rapidly and study verses on the problem. Consider praying: “Father, take away this ______ so that I live in love and do Your will.” Third, tells others to solve their problems with Google scripture searches. Many people's lives would improve greatly if they simply were told, “Study/pray “Verses peace.” If people talk about their problems to you, ask them, “Are you open to scripture solutions? They have really worked well for me.” Finally, turning to scripture to solve your problem allows God's power to work in your life. Once His power is completely working in your life... Lust will die. Consider embracing this habit. Every time you solve specific problems with specific scripture, the power increases in you. The more you make this a habit, the easier it will be to quit.
