Had “sexual intercourse” for the first time last night and it was sad

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by Fghhr7, May 18, 2019.

  1. Fghhr7

    Fghhr7 Fapstronaut

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    Hi all,
    Big fan of this page and really enjoy seeing people get back on the right track but now it’s my turn to share.

    I’m a 23 year old male who started masturbating at 10 to mental images and switched to actual porn at 12. I have never masturbated correctly in that I get off by kind of squeezing my head repetitively while looking at a video or image. Anyways, my life was pretty good before but then I fell into the dark hole of porn. This slowly escalated over the years to more hardcore stuff as that’s what I need to get off.

    Anyways, I have noticed now my morning wood is no longer existent and I feel like I’m semi depressed I don’t know how to describe it. I’m a pretty average looking guy but I get a fair share of tinder and Hinge matches. Anyways, this girl last night was veryyyyy horny last night and basically FaceTimed me multiple times to get an Uber for her to come to my place. She’s gorgeous, super nice bod with everything in the right proportion. This was my first time ever and we kind of talked for a while before I awkwardly made a move to make out with her. She wasn’t phased and was really into it. Time cane where I started taking off her clothes and she took mine off. She told me to lay back and she started giving me a blowjob. It was great but the problem was I couldn’t get fully erect. I was like flaccid to semi hard and I felt like it was getting weaker as she continued. Anyways, I started doing my business to satisfy her and she seemed to enjoy it. Then time came to put on the condom: I couldn’t get it on because I wasn’t hard and was rapidly getting more and more flaccid. It was at that point where I kind of gave up and she got up without a word and started putting her clothes on. She finally told me to get her an Uber back and I was in the process of doing this when she cane back and decided to stay longer because “her roommate was asleep” (it was like 3:30 am at this point). So she laid down and we both kind of laid there with the lights out. I basically thought the night was over but but she’s slowly inches back toward me and started rubbing against me. She then exposed her pussy and boobs and she basically told me to start feeling her up. I did and long story short, I helped her get off with my fingers and she fell asleep. About two hours later I got her an Uber and she left without a word. She basically just used me at the end to get her off because she was so horny I know that. But the point of all this is the fact that I couldn’t stay hard during the BJ or while putting on the condom really killed the mood. She was really flirtatious prior and after basically became a different person. Anyways, I’ve been watching porn basically daily multiple times a day (in fact watched earlier prior to her coming). I really want to stop but it’s an addiction and I can’t break the cycle. I’ve heard the good things from this page that people get their erections back once they stop. Man that would be nice. Thanks for readings guys I just wanted to share my story.
     
  2. Marley's locks

    Marley's locks New Fapstronaut

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    Its cool bruh I had the same problem a couple of months ago basically led me to quit sex for the last four months. I recently quit now 13days into it am scared as hell for the next time i have to have sex
     
  3. Steve Rogers 96

    Steve Rogers 96 New Fapstronaut

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    Stay strong bro! Everything will be fine!
     
    Fghhr7 likes this.
  4. RemittedHermit

    RemittedHermit Fapstronaut

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    Hey man, this sounded so shockingly similar to the first real intentional sexual interaction I had with a girl. It was humiliating. I couldn't get the condom on, and lost my hard-on multiple times. This was at the beginning of last month when I'd given up on No PMO. I'd fell into my old routines and habits. I'd sell my self that it would be fine as long as I didn't use porn. But using porn was so ingrained in my sexual behaviors, I was pulling out my phone mid session frantically searching for a fix of porn because without it "wasn't the same".

    I had to make a choice, be unconscious, do nothing or fix the problem at the root cause: my porn addiction which had warped my views and left me sexually dysfunctional.

    I'm trying to reboot now and tonight has been difficult. These past few days, temptations are at all time high for me, but I know what I want so I've gotta fight for it. I know I want to be able to have a healthy partner without warped and toxic attitudes towards each other.

    Quote below for motivation...Great read for while on reboot btw (if you haven't already)

    "Begin by treating yourself as if you were someone you were responsible for helping" - Jordan B. Peterson, 12 Rules for Life
     
    Fghhr7 likes this.
  5. Fghhr7

    Fghhr7 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for all the support guys. I have super bad mental strength in that I relapse easy. The longest i have lasted without porn is 18 days and that was last year. Now its usually a day or two. I haven't masturbated since the incident but that was only two days ago. I really hope this humiliating experience will serve as motivation to stop.
     
  6. Fghhr7

    Fghhr7 Fapstronaut

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    Oh wow! I have a question: your first time, were you at least able to get the condom on eventually and penetrate some? I did not even get to do that. Anyways thanks for the share I will check this out
     
  7. RemittedHermit

    RemittedHermit Fapstronaut

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    Hey, thanks for the question. I was able to eventually, however I wasn't able to penetrate even after a few attempts, I kept losing my arousal. It sucked. And your welcome.

    Peace.
     
    Fghhr7 likes this.
  8. Had the same experience with my first time. Most of it was nerves, but some of it was due to my inexperience and habit.

    However, I believe this shows how important it is to have a real meaningful relationship with someone before becoming intimate. Knowing, loving, and trusting is a very important part of proper intimacy.

    Bottom line: cancel tinder, try meeting with women and trying to get to know them first before going to the bedroom.
     
    RemittedHermit and Fghhr7 like this.

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