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had a 500+ days streak, now back to square one

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by Dragydof, Aug 10, 2020.

  1. Dragydof

    Dragydof Fapstronaut

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    Hey,

    I feel kind of lost. I have had a 500+ days streak last year.

    Then I tried ADHD Medication which gave me motivation to work on my PME issues.(no guys most of the time they don't disappear just by noPMO.) I edged completely in the dark with no visual stimuly, not even fantasy. Just by physical sensation. It helped, but apparently I didn't have my porn addiction too under control so I relapsed.

    Now I'm back at the stage where you relapse once a week and it doesn't seem to get better. I don't know what's different from my period of 500+ days. At that time it just clicked en now it just doesn't seem to work.

    The weird thing is. I improved my symptomes a lot in those 500+ days. My motivation is now better, social anxiety is less, I had a lot of growth as a person. So I can't see those things anymore as a reason not to do it. The only reason I seem to have is that I want to become a professional musician and that I won't make it if I keep being addicted, and that I want to change my view of women to see them more as humans.

    Anybody who can talk some sense into me? I feel lost and the original reasons I did noFap aren't working anymore.
     
    angelpart and iluvfreedom like this.
  2. Krishna108

    Krishna108 Fapstronaut

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    Man fuck I'm so sorry
     
  3. Right now, a couple of relapses aren't enough to nullify the huge benefits attained by a 500+ day streak. However, please realize that if you keep at it, those benefits will lessen, you'll go back to a much worse place and all that effort will be in vain. Don't fool yourself into thinking that if you continue to do this, you'll still be the same.
     
    TudoBem23 and MdRt like this.
  4. It happens. Don't be hard on yourself over it.

    We are addicts. Sometimes we fall down.

    Probably most of the good changes that happened to you

    during the mega-streak are not lost.

    It's more of a setback than the whole collapse of the Roman empire,

    if you ask me.

    But my question is, why are you doing this?

    What goals do you want to achieve?

    Streaking is good, streaking is important, but streaking to streak

    sometimes won't motivate someone to continue.

    If your goal is to make XX amount of money, or start a business,

    then do that, and take a break.

    Remember we are built to reproduce.

    Everything that humans do unfortunately either directly

    or indirectly is in an effort towards that.

    It sucks, I know. I'm middle-aged and I don't have kids, you can imagine how I feel about that.

    These are some suggestions or ideas. Use what works for you.

    kmp brother!
     
    MdRt likes this.
  5. runner0424

    runner0424 Fapstronaut

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    I relapsed twice after 6 months or so from porn each time. I’m currently 6 months and 1 day or so free from that relapse.

    I have learned a lot in my struggle with porn. One, is what triggers me. A lot on the internet and tv triggered me(seeing beautiful women). I believe my last relapse was super bowl halftime show, I didn’t relapse that night, but like a week or two after it, but those images stayed with me and I kept wanting more, even after 6 months.

    I also researched And watched videos of the science behind it all and it releases dopamine In your brain and scary how the addiction can become when I thought I could control it.

    the ways I feel like I have conquered it for good was that I had my wife put in an adult filter password that I don’t know what it is(it could be a friend if not married). It’s my backup plan when having a bad day and can’t see the adult sites. I also don’t watch shows that could trigger me and try to turn my head if I think a scene is coming. More importantly though, I have really grown in my faith with God. I have listened to so many sermons on temptations and that has helped me tremendously. Rick Warren and Greg Laurie are 2 of my favorites and have helped me a ton!! I learned about all the garbage I was putting in my mind. The analogy was how we have to watch what we eat, we can’t eat McDonald’s fried food every meal without bad consequences, the same thing applies with what you consistently put in your mind.

    Hopefully this helps and try and learn as much as possible and avoid whatever gets you tempted and triggered. Get going on another streak and make it a lifestyle change and don’t beat yourself up if you have a relapse. Just learn from it and keep trying to do better.

    You did good with 500 days, we are all human and make mistakes. Learn why/how/when it happened and triggers of it.
     
    Indurian likes this.
  6. Dragydof

    Dragydof Fapstronaut

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    You are all right. the effects from abstaining for longer than 500 days aren't gone. I also feel that.

    The thing i'm thinking about though, is that there has to be a reason why I can't manage anymore. The relapses are often just symptoms of other problems, but I haven't found it yet. I moved cities. I know that cold leave an impact, but I don't think it could be such a big of an impact for me to go against all the progress I've made.
     
    Garek likes this.
  7. Arjuna's path

    Arjuna's path Fapstronaut

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    Hello mate!. I have great news to you!. If you identify yourself with somebody addicted, it is very difficult to step out the addiction!. Who told you that you are in square one? What made you walk into there?. I think that you are a traveler who choose another way in his path, and ended up behaving in a certain way due to the circumstances (I don't know you, so there are many things that can be happening around you, maybe things you didn't even noticed that have changed).

    So let me tell you something, you are what you are because you had the amazing power to defeat a compulsory behavior for more than a year!.

    1- Do not identify yourself with something related to your past, or with something that may be happen if you don't pay enough attention (this causes hyper alert, and in consequences, depending your capability of dealing with your inner being, paranoia, panic attaks, etc).

    2- You have the total right to feel sad, but denying this is not that healthy, let things flow and don't hesitate on posting here, we will love to hear from you!.

    Eckhart Tolle says that everyone lives in a state of unconsciousness because they identify theirselves with their mind. Remember, you are not your mind, the mind is sick and doesn't want you to enjoy your life.

    For you to reflect: what do you gain by worrying for what can happen in the future?.

    Virtual hug!.
     
    Last edited: Aug 13, 2020
  8. UnitedWeStand

    UnitedWeStand Fapstronaut

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    500+ days is something to be really really proud of. In your case i would be so proud and i would forgive myself for such a small slip. You cant be back to square one this is wrong. Be confident and get back on track as soon as possible. I believe in you
     
  9. Krishna108

    Krishna108 Fapstronaut

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    god damn it jlo and shakira
     
  10. drkarim

    drkarim Fapstronaut

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  11. ElderStatesman

    ElderStatesman Fapstronaut

    Man, if you made it 500 days, you’ve got what it takes! I got to about 10 months once, and it was a real loss to find myself in relapse, where I’ve been lost for well over a year.

    So, okay, back on the wagon and I’m only at Day 3. So what? How am I going to get from 3 to 3000? (Actually, the number I need is something called FOREVER.) I’m going to get to 3000 the same way I get to 4. One Day at a Time. That’s what you’re going to do. You know you can.
     
  12. Summer Son

    Summer Son Fapstronaut

    As a 22 years old and I have used porn for 11+ years. A lot of time in my life, consumed with my recovery efforts. Tons of big streaks, little streaks, relapses, binges, commitments etc. Now I understand that, we as addicts should not afraid relapses because they are part of recovery. I also saw a lot of guys who controlled their compulsive behaviours more than 5+ years and then relapses. By the way I think you controlled your addiction pretty good I hope you did this for your life as well, that's because this is not a failure but a victory. Everytime you stay away from pornography, actually your brain wires itself for a real deal. I did not have 500+ days but I had nearly 6 months then relapsed and I found myself it is harder to turn back to vagon again. In those 500+ days you might have 500+ relapses but you did not. I know this feeling is hard especially if you think that you have finally control over your life but in other words, you actually gained in this streak, try to avoid more binges you haven't lose. I think that if you stayed clean for this period, you can stay clean for your all life ahead. Stay your guard up.

    And additionally, I think if you can focus other things like your inner thoughts, your brain's gaming inside of you and try to know yourself more I mean if you try to control your life more than addiction, this struggle might be easier. I don't know if you already know this source but Jon Marsh mentioned perfect points in his site before his died. In my opinion he is a great teacher :
    http://www.recoverynation.com/recovery/recovery_workshop_001.php
    http://www.recoverynation.com/recovery/recovery_workshop_contents.php

    I hope you a good, clean and happy life.
     
    Last edited: Aug 27, 2020
  13. Hardwork11

    Hardwork11 Fapstronaut

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    relapsed to m after 106 days of no porn.
     

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