Had a wet dream last night. But I have a question.

Pathofsuccess_1 · Feb 25, 2020

I just woke up about 10 minutes ago, I found myself slightly anxious and tired (more than usual).

I remembered last night I had trouble with some fantasy and I went to bad having an urge.

I remember while dosing off I had a very vivid erotic dream, it was kind of a dream but once I realized I was having it I stopped. When I actually went to sleep, my dreams were very erotic. I wasn’t controlling them. But I relapsed in my dream.

My question is, since last night I had trouble with urges and fantasies but did not give in is it a relapse? I also remember going to bed I didn’t touch myself at all and this may sound messed up but whenever I do something a certain way (like bend over/sit, my mind makes me think of dirty stuff (I’m not attracted to myself) but when I happen to do those things something dirty pops up in my head, I was getting in bed last night and my mind did it again, I know these are purely thought based, like I literally imagine a girl doing it instead of me cause of fantasy, but my mind had me fantasizing because it was hard not to think about it, as long as I didn’t give in am I fine?

StonePlacidity · Feb 25, 2020

Pathofsuccess_1 said: ↑

I just woke up about 10 minutes ago, I found myself slightly anxious and tired (more than usual).

I remembered last night I had trouble with some fantasy and I went to bad having an urge.

I remember while dosing off I had a very vivid erotic dream, it was kind of a dream but once I realized I was having it I stopped. When I actually went to sleep, my dreams were very erotic. I wasn’t controlling them. But I relapsed in my dream.

My question is, since last night I had trouble with urges and fantasies but did not give in is it a relapse? I also remember going to bed I didn’t touch myself at all and this may sound messed up but whenever I do something a certain way (like bend over/sit, my mind makes me think of dirty stuff (I’m not attracted to myself) but when I happen to do those things something dirty pops up in my head, I was getting in bed last night and my mind did it again, I know these are purely thought based, like I literally imagine a girl doing it instead of me cause of fantasy, but my mind had me fantasizing because it was hard not to think about it, as long as I didn’t give in am I fine?
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there's a nofap saying "hands on the cock, reset the clock. Nocturnal emission, continue the mission"
if I were you and I didn't actively stop the urge, I would consider that a relapse. However, if you're lenient on yourself or just trying to quit porn and MO, then no, it is not a relapse

Neurostudent · Feb 25, 2020

I wouldn't consider this a relapse. It wasn't in your control. However, like @StonePlacidity said, you need to start learning how to control your urges. When you feel an urge just take a moment to locate where the urge is in your body. Breath deeply into that point. Obviously you're not breathing there, but just imagine that's what you're doing. There are two methods you can use next depending on which you prefer. The first is that you imagine each exhale is bringing the tension or urge with it out of your mouth. Imagine a stream of energy just rising out of you and taking the tension with it. Another is to imagine an air valve is on the point of tension. With each exhale imagine the tension is being released out through the valve. Try to do this for at least 10 breaths, but go for as long as you have the time for. If you're in public or something and doing this isn't feasible, even just doing a single deep breath can be enough. Especially if you have lots of practice doing it when you did have time.

Also, another cool little mindset to have is that you aren't in control of your thoughts. You said that it's difficult to stop the fantasy and that's because it's impossible for YOU to stop the fantasy. Right now I want you to stop thinking. Just stop thinking. No matter how hard you try, you cannot. You are not in control of your thoughts. So...if you're not in control of your thoughts and thus your fantasy, what can you do? Just accept that those thoughts are there and move on. The more you try to get rid of the thoughts the more they stick around because you're giving more power to them. The beautiful thing about that breathing technique above is that it relaxes you, but also takes your focus away from the thoughts and onto something else. The thoughts are probably still there in the back of your conscious awareness, or just below it, but you have now focused your awareness on something else so much that you are no longer fully aware that you're having those thoughts. You cannot control your thoughts, but you can control where you focus your awareness.

Pathofsuccess_1 · Feb 25, 2020

Neurostudent said: ↑

I wouldn't consider this a relapse. It wasn't in your control. However, like @StonePlacidity said, you need to start learning how to control your urges. When you feel an urge just take a moment to locate where the urge is in your body. Breath deeply into that point. Obviously you're not breathing there, but just imagine that's what you're doing. There are two methods you can use next depending on which you prefer. The first is that you imagine each exhale is bringing the tension or urge with it out of your mouth. Imagine a stream of energy just rising out of you and taking the tension with it. Another is to imagine an air valve is on the point of tension. With each exhale imagine the tension is being released out through the valve. Try to do this for at least 10 breaths, but go for as long as you have the time for. If you're in public or something and doing this isn't feasible, even just doing a single deep breath can be enough. Especially if you have lots of practice doing it when you did have time.

Also, another cool little mindset to have is that you aren't in control of your thoughts. You said that it's difficult to stop the fantasy and that's because it's impossible for YOU to stop the fantasy. Right now I want you to stop thinking. Just stop thinking. No matter how hard you try, you cannot. You are not in control of your thoughts. So...if you're not in control of your thoughts and thus your fantasy, what can you do? Just accept that those thoughts are there and move on. The more you try to get rid of the thoughts the more they stick around because you're giving more power to them. The beautiful thing about that breathing technique above is that it relaxes you, but also takes your focus away from the thoughts and onto something else. The thoughts are probably still there in the back of your conscious awareness, or just below it, but you have now focused your awareness on something else so much that you are no longer fully aware that you're having those thoughts. You cannot control your thoughts, but you can control where you focus your awareness.
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I could be having the chaser effect from the wet dream, but it also could be the 7 day craving.

I definitely have to distract myself, I just got hit with urges like a freight train just laying here.

I’m also not sure about this but while I was laying here sexual thoughts popped into my head, I don’t think it was on purpose but I stopped it immediately and I didn’t get pleasure from it in the first place, my leg almost squished my d and I stopped it, I felt just my clothing hit it but got no pleasure from it.

I know it’s a really specific situation but as long as I stopped am I fine?

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Had a wet dream last night. But I have a question.

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