Had Sex but Urges Stronger than Ever

The catch phrase for what you are experiencing is "chaser effect". Read a little bit about it and find a way to cope with it. Do not give into the urge.

 

I had that urge today and last night. Its not really a thought can can be eliminated it can only be observed and monitored. If you resist, it persists. But if you don’t identify yourself with that thought (as if you are the one thinking it rather than the thought coming to you) than you have a better shot at controlling it and making it subject itself to you rather than the other way around. Thoughts are definitely fueled with energy that’s why certain ones or imaginations tend to arouse the sexual side of us bc our brains don’t know the difference between what’s being imagined and what’s really happening. Hope this helps man. I am on day 13 out of my 14 challenge and was supper close to a relapse but decided to come on here instead. Glad I’m not the only one that goes through this

 

nsb2019, the urges should be gone by now?

I did not elaborate in my first reply, because I could not right away tell how I overcome the chaser effect... but I have given it some thought:

Before I learned of nofap and read a little on the hormone cycles, it always went like that: I had sex with my SO and the next morning I would think: Now, that I've done my duty and proven to myself I can still do it, I am obviously not addicted and might as well reward myself with a wank. And of course this made me feel extremely miserable afterwards.

Once I learned the chaser effect existed and how it worked, I could immediately shut it down. It was amazing. I think the two key elements why it works for me are:

Firstly, I am a very rational person. Once I understood the mechanistic behind, I could convince myself with logic not to give in. This greatly helps keeping up morale.

Secondly, I had abstained from PMO for quite a while (maybe a week) before I had sex with my SO again. This was probably pure luck, but in retrospect this could even be a recommendation for people rebooting in a relationship: If your SO's libido follows their menstrual cycle, you could even time when you should start your reboot so you are a week clean before engaging again.

Now, the urges are slowly building up between my SO's ovulation and the menstruation. But they are not really urges for porn. Also, I try to compensate this by just being with my SO without any sexual intent.

Be prepared, however: If you had great sex, then shut down the chaser effect, and do not "get some" for a few days, you might experience bad mood and be a little grumpy. In the first two months this was extreme for me, but this month it lasted only one morning.