Had sex for 2 hours and still couldn't finish

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by TetsuoAkira, May 1, 2017.

  1. TetsuoAkira

    TetsuoAkira Fapstronaut

    49
    35
    18
    Seriously...2+ hours

    I don't feel frustrated, as I'm only only 10 days in the current run, though I didn't get an urge to relapse from blue balls afterwards....and this was 4 days ago, I've held it together since

    I'm just hoping there is a light at the end of the tunnel, though the girl was not complaining, she actually mentioned half way through that I could finish whenever I wanted to, momentum cannot go for THAT long...

    She was getting exhausted...bless her

    We joked later on about how tired she was, and how I only have two modes: 30 seconds, and 3 hours

    Haha, at least if I keep it lighthearted, she won't take it personally

    Any tips for this situation in a relationship? I don't want her or myself to finish off with hands as a solution ever, so that's out of the question, and I've never enjoyed Blowjobs that much

    I think anxiety can come from the pressure of knowing I don't always O with others, so I've been focusing on her pleasure to take the edge off myself, we finished fcuking once she'd came for the second time, so I followed suit, and removed the condom/rubber

    Looking forward in our blossoming relationship...I don't believe we could be longterm if I can't O from being with her. It's too weird for the woman, and I don't ever expect to have to explain, as that makes things worse...
     
    YngwieWanksteen likes this.
  2. You'll be fine...been in a similar situation...keep her close and let her know that you care and dont be embaressed (things i didnt do).

    Putting too much pressure on yourself just enjoying and try and make her happy too...experiment a bit.

    Porn can fuck with your head so it could be a couple days it could be awhile...any way you can try to get out of your own head
     
    TetsuoAkira likes this.
  3. TetsuoAkira

    TetsuoAkira Fapstronaut

    49
    35
    18
    I might shy away from sex next time, as we've had a regular day to meet and do our thing. A few weeks to me will hopefully work wonders. I'll try to focus on other things.

    I've been thinking about meditation, which I tried earlier this year, but couldn't get my head into.
     
  4. YngwieWanksteen

    YngwieWanksteen Fapstronaut

    321
    243
    43
    Hahaha!:D
     
    TetsuoAkira likes this.
  5. Runtilmylegsdropoff

    Runtilmylegsdropoff Fapstronaut

    1,544
    1,812
    143
    More than two hours and couldn't finish? You must fap a lot?
     
  6. GG2002

    GG2002 Fapstronaut

    2,063
    3,452
    143
    How long have you had DE? Is this a new relationship? First relax it's been 10 days! Think of how long yoy have pmoed for these things take time. My partner has DE and when he stopped the PMO he wanted immediate results that's not realistic . For us he could not O with me at all only his hand. After 3 weeks no PMO he oed with my hand then the following week from a blow job still no O from sex and Its been three months. If you have never oed from her hand or mouth I suggest you start there and work up to O during sex just my advice we are all different. Tell yourself you are only to engage in sex, not just POV but oral and her hand for a set period of time say 20 minutes then if you don't O you stop make sure she's satisfied and try again another day but only O with her. I was like her early on when I dated my partner. I made jokes, I tried to be subtle but I did that because I did not know what else to do. Most women don't have a baseline for not being able to have a guy O during sex but as time went on and it kept happening I grew to not want sex anymore because I knew it would last for hours and I would be in pain and feel bad for not making him O. I'm not trying to discourage you just trying to give you an honest assessment. I would tell her. I think if I had known early on I would have been more able to understand and help. Otherwise we think it's our fault uou don't find us sexy and we end up moving on. Good luck!
     
    Bel and TetsuoAkira like this.
  7. Nomar

    Nomar Fapstronaut

    624
    4,079
    123
    Just had to say that your username is hilarious!! Best one I've seen so far lmao
     
  8. TetsuoAkira

    TetsuoAkira Fapstronaut

    49
    35
    18
    I don't fap much actually, I've had this issue on/off with different girls for years even before I begun NoFap, I went for 6-7 hours once around 5 years ago, and the Dr told me to not have sex for a week because of how sore I was

    This is my main reason for trying to beat P in the first place, I've rarely gotten the satisfaction on my end, but always delivered it to others where I can

    I've been with women who I worked at getting into bed for months on end, finally scored thinking it would be amazing, and still then I didn't finish with a condom, which she demanded I wear

    I put it down to sensitivity, anxiety, and the inability to lose myself in the moment.

    I think a condom-less romp would help, but it's too risky

    I need to completely reset my understanding of sex
     
  9. TetsuoAkira

    TetsuoAkira Fapstronaut

    49
    35
    18
    Had DE for 5 + years

    New relationship, two great times together, no complaints on her end, she's come at least twice both times from night to morning

    I've had that exact problem with old relationships, I just gave up on sex altogether, or finished myself off during the act instead

    I can't settle for less anymore, I want the full experience

    I've had ex-partners bring it up and it makes me really uncomfortable, they said it's not normal

    I've had ex-partners beg me for sex but I'd straight up deny it because of the frustration on my end

    I've had ex-partners think I don't like sex, which is wrong, I just don't know how to combat my issue

    I've had ex-partners think I'm not attracted to them because of it

    It's set me back in having real relationships and advancing my life
     
    GG2002 and Deleted Account like this.
  10. GG2002

    GG2002 Fapstronaut

    2,063
    3,452
    143
    Yes this is exactly my fiancés problem and everything you said is how I and most women with partners who have DE feel. If the couple is married then they eventually stop having sex all together because the women dreads the idea of an hour long sex session when she has kids to take care of and work and sex makes her feel unattractive and a failure. The man finds sex too stressful and falls deeper into porn. DE is a relationship killer and I think you see that based on past experiences. Early on in our relationship the DE did not bother me much. I assumed it would get better and went with it. But I clearly had no idea what I was dealing with and as time went on I grew angrier and angrier and wanted sex less and less. When I found out the reason it was occurring was Pmo the level of anger I felt is not something I could express fully in words. But to your credit you recognize that the Pmo is causing it and you are stopping on your own. You recognize that the type of sex you were having in the past was not true intimacy and you want to strive for that. My partner refused to acknowledge pmo was the problem so he kept doing it and lying to me all the while our sex life was horrible. He's perfectly happy using his hand as the only way to finish and I find that disgusting. I did not before but in doing that he is using me as an object so he's moing to me instead of porn but there is no intimacy in that. I could literally have gotten up and left the room and he would have kept going and not even noticed. Sex was a solitary experience for him. Like I said keep on the road and you will get ther you are on the right path!
     
    Bel and Deleted Account like this.
  11. This is a great perspective, thank you for sharing and best of luck with your own struggles.
     
    GG2002 likes this.
  12. FindingAName

    FindingAName Banned User

    395
    81
    28
    tbh i would probably go home alone and cry all night if this happened to me :( i really hope it gets better for you
    however a small part hopes u lose the relationship {since your happier then me and can acctually get sex}
    i would probably go home and cry all night, i wish you the best but a small part of me hates you for bieng able to get a girl and have sex ^^ not personal just urges talking :)
     
  13. FindingAName

    FindingAName Banned User

    395
    81
    28
    why is everyone saying O? just say orgasm ffs
     
  14. GG2002

    GG2002 Fapstronaut

    2,063
    3,452
    143
    That's a trigger word for some people. If you notice people use a lot of acronyms for things on here. It caught me off guard at first but I believe there is a section in the NoFap for beginners that explains. If you post contains trigger words you are supposed to warn.
     
  15. FindingAName

    FindingAName Banned User

    395
    81
    28
    haha i could be a dick to EVERYONE now :) what makes people tick? what makes me tick? :)
     
  16. @GG2002 @FindingAName
    Hmm...honestly never thought of those as trigger words, I used P,M, & O outta habit because everyone else does and saves typing time lol. An whenever someone uses O I think of Office Space movie part talking about "the O face"
     
  17. Bel

    Bel Fapstronaut

    244
    399
    63
    Omg I hated this very experience. It's not normal. When women talk about men lasting longer I want to scream bc they aren't speaking for all women, def not me. Every guy I was with I could beat to O , hit the same time , or really close after....just depended on whether or not they were faster than my 3 minute average. UNTIL my PASO.....from the first night I literally told him, jokingly though in hindsight scarily, to stop watching and believing the porn hype. Literally it was the most ridiculous experiences of my life as well as the most painful. It's is confusing as hell to be attracted to a person on every level and then when it comes down to the one thing that should be easily awesome it downright sucked. Since my PASO lied his ass off denying any porn habit and I stupidly believed him, it just became the ultimate mind fuck. The only thing I could chalk it up to was the age gap....though again in my 20's I slept with a lot of guys in their 20's (not proud or ashamed just a fact) and none of them was the god awful sex this one was. No guy out of every guy I had sex with was this level of imo weird. If only I wasn't left to flounder in my own head about wth was going on with him we'd be in a completely different place right now. Instead I am trying to be a support system to a relationship that in my heart stands about as much chance of being revived as a body that has washed up on shore decomposing.
    For God's sake, if any of you give 2 shits about your partners you will at least let them know your problems came long before them.
     
  18. Thank you for the female perspective...I can try to empathize because I'm sure a lot of women who experience this start to question themselves and if there is something wrong with them not being able to please their partner. Alternatively for the guy this is both embaressing and frustrating for the personal ego being unavle to perform. Communication is definitely the most important thing here, but please understand it is terrifying to open up in a new relationship and risk being judged.
    @Bel I am sorry you had to experience this and wish you luck going forward. For the guys, try and empathize with her situation and do whats right for you and your partner
     
    Bel likes this.
  19. GG2002

    GG2002 Fapstronaut

    2,063
    3,452
    143
    Personally as a partner I understand it's embarrassing but the man is causing the problem! So stop the pmo. Don't say I'm embarrassed so feel bad for me but continue to pmo. The difference is the SO has zero control over the bad sex . She will try it all but it won't work and yet he keeps PMOing saying I don't understand why I can't perform?
     
    Bel likes this.
  20. Well PMO is an addiction...its not like it can be flipped off like a lightswitch. Im just saying if a man admits the problem and wants to work on it be supportive and (you dont need to feel bad) just understand if he does open up thats a sign of respect and trust. A guy who keeps up PMO doesnt show an effort, well ladies you gotta be a little selfish too...if it aint working go find something else.
     
    Bel likes this.

Share This Page