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Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by Fenix Rising, Jun 30, 2019.
but u r better than rest of sinners feel great about urself bro
First of all … awesome name! My handle is Griffin, and I realized only after signing up that I wanted to actually use the name Phoenix, like yours, w.r.t. the creature that resurrected from the ashes.
I totally empathize with your story. I'm on Day 88 of Monk mode, and I thought it would be awesome, but looking back, I feel abysmal and unmotivated. I've cut out social media, youtube, all but a hand full of movies, porn, masturbating, orgasm, etc. and my motivation still is in the tank. I think clearing out all that garbage just helped me uncover a low-lying depression that I need to get help for. Assuming I make it to 90 days, I am going to restart monk mode again, but this time with stricter rules.
Usually the missing piece after such a long time is absence of socializing enough. What can you do to spend time with real people not online? These are the rewards your brain is looking for now that you are not distracting yourself. Meditation and exercise also help. Good luck.
Congrats Man. You are doing a great job. That's something real. On this forum every day we read success stories like: FEELING LIKE SUPERMAN, GIRLSMAGNET, AMAZING PERFORMANCE AT WORK etc.
But sometimes the reality is not so colourful. I would like to thank you for your confession. Just do not give up men. There are so man success people who deal/dealt with same problems: Michael Phelps, Matt Anderson, Buffon,Eminem, Harrison Ford. We cant be always strong. We are only human. Personally I had a contact with a psychotherapist and She helped a lot. I truly recommend it for you!
I can promise that all of those setbacks you described in your post will slowly fade away with time as soon as you replace your bad habits and lifestyle choices with better ones. Those have a great impact on how your body and mind respond to NoFap. Even then, the changes might not be apparent immediately if you have been used to live a certain way for the past decade or two.
Remember that all significant lifestyle changes take time and that the effects from years of a mediocre or poor lifestyle will not be undone after only a few months of a healthy and sound lifestyle. It is something that will likely take years to heal from and it is in that perspective you have to see it. Everything that is great, fulfilling and worth-wile in life comes with a great amount of sacrifice and perseverance that most people don't possess. Aspire to be one of those people who develop these two and manage to turn your life around. These are people that others will always sense immediately and look up to as soon as they enter a room.
That's why NoFap by itself is only part of the answer. The remaining part lies in your habits and overall lifestyle.
Although I had many good habits, qualities and mental attitudes when jumping onto the NoFap-train, I am still in the rebooting-process after 18 months of hard-mode.
Thanks for the answer, I do suspect you are correct. I think something I need to add into my life is more exercise. I'm not unfit, but I will probably become that way in middle age if I don't act now. Also, I could stand to do meditation. I think just adding in physical and mental discipline into my life would clear out 90% of the depression and fatigue. I just struggled because most of the time in the first 80 days of reboot, it was all I could do to just work, do basic life tasks, and NOT do PMO. I feel some space opening up in my life now though, so things are likely on the mend.
Be aware that diet and alcohol habits play a big part into experiencing the NoFap-benefits, as well as getting into shape, burn fat and turn them into muscles. If you feed your body junk, you will never have the energy or nutrients available to neither exercise properly or having the drive and motivation to get things done. Alcohol-intake does also make it impossible to burn fat since your entire metabolism will be temporarily (and for hours to come) focused on the removal of the toxins from your body instead of the digestion of the food.
1. Depression -> I have become more and more depressed. Most of the things I do I started to perceive as a burden. Even simple things like taking care of personal higiene eating enough (I have become somewhat skinny fat) seems difficult right now. Regular exercise somewhat lifts my mood for a day, but it's like taking an aspirin for a headache but not addressing the reason why I had a headache in a first place.
FLatline can occur long after you have stopped watching P. Some people say that their complete reboot took 1 year.
to me, you are just in a flatline. It will pass.
4. Insomnia -> To be precise having hard time falling asleep and having hard time waking up (oversleeping). I really tried to normalize my sleep pattern, because I can feel it's causing me physical problems and affects all areas of my life, but I was unsuccessful so far. I think part of the problem is my depressive state. Worries keep me awake at night and thought that I don't want to start another shitty day yet, keeps me from waking up
Have you tried ASMR videos ? It is really relaxing however not everybody is sensible to it.
Pcmaster made the point that with a broken leg you can exercise your arms. A few years ago i fell off a ladder and broke both feet. I exercised my arms and tried to let the injuries affect my life as little as possible.I believe there is a huge differance between recovery and abstinance. What i do after stopping the addictive behavior is what makes the differance. I believe my life has to be an all in commitment to becoming the person i want to be. Half measures or a lax attitude toward life wont do it. First i have to have an idea what my ideal is and then live each day in trying to attain this ideal. Someone said the key is to put in full effort but without stress or obsession. Enjoy the ride even when it gets tough. For me the mental state of self pity and pessimism is something i need to be on guard about because its so easy to fall into. A half year without pmo is a big thing , something ive never done . Ive been in recovery from alcohol and other drugs, gambling and now pmo. Ive been at it a long time and its tough at times but your on the right path. Keep going a day at a time and youll come out the other side . Also belief and reliance on a higher power i find essential. Sorry for being so long winded. Your doing good brother.
Coming into 6 months monk mode also.
I can confirm that I also still have social anxiety (I never had any before nofap), and sometimes my body has all symptoms of depression, sleep and fatigue are super high too. Also these weird throbbing sensations in my brain all the time too
I meditate around 2 hrs a day, gym 4-5 times a week, which definitely helps as none of the above is debilitating for me, but is definitely a major part of my experience.
Nothing last forever, it will all pass at some point, that much is guaranteed.
According to my knowledge ,the bad thigns what you are saying is totally normal and better than other people's symptom.Why you feel bad while rebooting?Because you stop masturbating, your body needs sometime to recover itself ,originally , before you stop masturbation , your body is always in a sex-working state, which leads to the high level of testosterone and the overoad of kidney. All of these are abnormal, they lead you in morbid metabolism.After you stop masturbation, your metabolism has need to change to cope with your manners.So they began to recover, but at the same time ,your body can't adapt the new environment immediately, but it's definitely normal.It's pretty much the same as high altitude sickness.The process of recovery depends on your body condition.If you are strong, you can get rid of this state very soon, vice versa.
Anyway, you just need to believe that it's always the right thing to stop masturbating.And please trust yourself , don't give up!
I can completwly related to the bad stuff you wrote. It's happening and worsening for me too. I started eating CBD oil drops and felt at first like it was working. But now I wonder if it not placebo. One thing is sure, I have way less ruminating thoughts since I started taking the oil. But the only way for me to feel relaxed enough to go out with friends is to wake up at 6am, hit the gym real hard for 2 hours, finish blasting myself at the sauna, go to work and take CBD oil. That can't be good.
As someone mentioned, probably the key to the problem is to socialize more and more rather than isolaring ourselves. But how can we achieve this goa if we can't overcome our fears?
In my case when I socialize I am overwelmed by the impression that I am not good company, a freak and completely abnormal because of my long term celibacy and P and M compulsions. I am als super worried of being "unmasked" as a PMO addict loser topped by people believing I'm actually gay (I realize now I also developped HOCD). It's completly paralysing at times.
Have you had social anxiety and panic attacks for the same reasons?
What helped me with my social anxiety was realization that people don't really care all that much about me. Some would say they don't give a F about me. Sure, they can gossip about you ect. but most of the time they're just masking their own insecurities by doing it. I have few close friends and they accept me as I am. I know they're honest so I accept their critique too even when it hurts. That's enough for me. You have no influence over what people think about you, so why even bother. Learn to like yourself the way you are. We're only humans all perfectly imperfect.
Also I set myself daily and weekly goals and try to achieve them. When I do, my self-esteem rises a bit. For example I felt like shit when waking up this morning. Nevertheless I did 90 minutes of uphill cycling session on a cold rainy day, meditate, had a long cold shower and then drove 100 km to visit my cousin. I didn't want to do any of it, yet I did it, because it was on my to do list. I asked myself in the evening how many ppl would do this today if they were in my skin. Probably not many. Achieving small goals over time works as great self-esteem booster.
One more thing that helped me with social and general anxiety is a Wim Hof Method. I don't know why, but it just works and it's easy thing to do.
Hi. That is an amazing achievement you have made for yourself, sucks that it's not feeling so great.
I had the thought that well i can't see what you are doing wrong, maybe it's hidden things. My first reaction was your environment. Sounds crazy but is there a chance you have contact with toxic mould in your house? Also I thought about an intestinal parasite. Off the wall ideas but you'd be amazed. I had a parasite a couple of years ago, from drinking water here in the hills of Portugal. Made me feel so crazy with all kinds of symptoms, so I just suggest it to you.
All the best.
What wim hof method do you use?
1. Breathing 3x30:
2. Dynamic stretching, Sun solution:
3. Cold shower/bath -> start with feet/hands and move slowly up towards the head then stay under cold shower for as long as you feel comfortable
Here are some more instructions -> Aug 20, 2019
This is a helpful thread I've benefited from reading it this evening.
Congrats on the good things.
As a remedy for bad things, read this:
A very wise approach!
one of the best thing about your post is it's not about 100%. Which is in real a truth of life where you don't have things in white and black.
Otherwise success story means everything is good like a movie.
Going for 6 months in itself a great news and achievement. In your case i think ( I may be wrong) that we must know for what we are doing tbis.
Like for some
Its religious, sex fulfilling, pied, etc
Unless and until we are not clear about it it will be difficult to judge oue own success and work.
It's would be more meaningful to have purpose for our act. Otherwise that act will not pay dividends.
I would suggest if you like to go through some books which will help to solve the problem like purpose goal in life religious if u want most recommended is the autobiography of your favorite personality. This will surely lead you in your path. ( guiding light in Encycling gloom)
PMO is part of problem in many problems of life.
You have won your battle by abstaining from it for so long.
Things that are bad those will be bad ( pm0) and you have achieved a lot in that spear.
At least you came to know that you have taken one full course and type of medicine and cured part of your problem and lead on March again against your problem.
Your 6 month stretch is highly respecatble ( mine failed on 26th day itself lol) but I will post here my success story soon.
And hope that you will find solution for you problems
Best luck keep fighting..