Half my life has been spent looking at porn and I’m only 22

hey folks, let me start this off w saying I’m a ftm gay trans guy (I’m a guy who is into guys) if this bothers you you don’t have to read this and save yourself the energy of sending me hate, I’m here for the same reasons as you.

Okay now that that’s out of the way. I started looking at porn when I was 11, and I was instantly in love (and addicted) I also knew I wanted to be in porn one day I admired it so much. I think it really became a problem when I began doing online sex work (when I was 20, also when I started transitioning). Now part of my (side) job involved porn, I was consumed in it. I even did escorting for a couple months. I quit making content after it got toxic for me (mainly talking to the wrong people) and I took a break from it. At this point I didn’t realize it was an addiction, I just thought I made a healthy thing toxic. Slowly I got back into it, and as time went on it consumed me more than ever before. In the past 6months I went from looking at porn a couple times a week to every day for 1-3 hours, more and more rough stuff too. I even made a side blog for really rough stuff so it wouldn’t interfere w my main sex work blog. I deleted and created this blog many times knowing it wasn’t good for me. A couple weeks ago I had a downward spiral where 3 days in a row I looked at porn for 3+ hours, was drunk every night, and was talking to some people who were influencing me to do very toxic things. After this I came to my senses and realized I had an addiction and decided to stop. I even got rid of my internet then (mainly because of my finances) but I knew it would help with the porn addiction. I relapsed a couple of days ago. I had major withdrawal symptoms (shaking, cold sweats, nausea) from both the porn addiction and not having internet because I wasn’t getting the intense stimuli to produce the dopamine I was previously. I got drunk and used 3GB of data in one night (since I didn’t have WiFi anymore). My parents were pissed the next day and I explained (without mentioning the porn addiction) and they understood. I am going to try to do the 90 day hard reboot, yet I would say it’s extreme since I have no internet anymore lol. I need to delete my blogs and content but I’m worried that as soon as I see one thing I’ll fall into another binge.