Hands-free relapse, wtf?!

OK last time I was having a hard time sleeping after a day where I had panic attacks (dopamine withdrawal?). I was on day 3 (I always relapse on the 3rd day here, while last year I did last until day 7 at least). But the strange thing is I didn't touch myself. While I was laying in bed I just imagined a hot woman jumping on me haha and having love with me while I hold her booty and... I climaxed. Does that mean my libido is high?

On the other hand this is a positive thing, as a hot lady is finally able to make me cum whereas before my streaks I had to get into the most OTT or perverted things to get off. But what to do about this horniness? It really makes me become panicky. Should I start going to the gym?

 

Yes but I need the sperm retention benefits.
For me the biggest trigger is waking up all wet and smelly down there, like having the need to mate. Another is apparently I have a bad withdrawal with panic attacks and all.

 

I did have a wet dream without release about the same type of woman. In fact I saw her in my dream nude alongside other nude women.
She looked like an Adriana Lima and Irina Sheikh mix. I used to be into blondes, but now brunettes with light eyes are my favorite types of women.

However this release was not during sleep or at waking up. I was fully awake, felt horny so I went to my bed and imagined having sex with that woman, humping her over me and touching her etc. Excuse my triggers. It was hands free masturbating while awake (air humping lol). It's maybe a relapse but felt more real than usual as I due MO without any stimulus but the good feeling down there. So now st least I can imagine not only getting pleasure but giving it to someone else.

 

But it was wet, I cummed.

 

After years of MO (and a little P) I started having panic attacks.

After discovering masturbation it went like this:
Fatigue -> anhedonia -> depression -> irritability -> anxiety -> panic attacks and adrenal pains.

I couldnt even use buses as the vibrating and shaking floor would trigger a panic attack. No TV dramas, no elevators, everything was triggering.

Only improved on my longest NoFap streak 4 years ago of 4-5 months. Best time ever since my pre-fap childhood years, no lie!

 

I think PMO causes weak adrenal energy in some individuals and the so-called Post Orgasmic Illness Disorder. I've long suspected I have it as my depression/anxiety and back pain issues were non existent before I discovered masturbation.

Things got specifically worse once I was able to cum (before that I had only dry orgasmsand was fine emotionally). With time I stopped feeling that intense pleasure when climaxing, I just cum. Playing is the more pleasurable part now while the orgasm is just non existent - I just shoot it out, no pleasure. Strangely when I wake up climaxing from a wet dream, I feel the orgasm with intense pleasure still.

I guess I should climax only with a woman and if possible have sex no more than once a week. Not sure how to feel about this.