garden
Fapstronaut
[trigger warning, language]
Backstory
35M, watching porn for over 20 years. ED heavily increased over the last years, started at around age of 28. I am in a longterm relationship, so all of the following is happening with the same partner. you can read details of my reboot in my journal [here].
In the beginning, like 7-8 years ago, I would just sometimes loose my erections during intercourse, which wasn’t too concerning because during that time I was able to go quite long and it just felt like some kind of exhaustion. I masturbated daily as my sex drive is high. but as I got older, I lost my erections during sex much more often (roughly five years ago). you start to notice details like not being able to do doggystyle anymore and only doing positions that are easy on the body. then in my early thirties I started having trouble to get hard at all from the beginning, despite being aroused. No MW for years during that time.
While my sexual performance declined, I intensified my porn consumption which was already high before. porn consumption never really escalated in strange fetishes but I clearly noticed that I took more and more time to find the best video, more intense, to find another scene I am looking for and so on you know the drill. spending 3,4 or 5 hours a day with porn and a semi erection. at the same time my ED increased in my early 30s, my mental health started to make problems. I isolated myself, watched more porn and fell into a depressive state.
All of this bad shit had to happen to find the strength to turn things around. Not being able to penetrate a beautiful body that is begging you to fuck is one of the worst experiences I have made (countless times). I had to reach this low point to figure out that I have to change my daily behaviour in order to rewire my brain and get back on track.
Reboot
after 260 days of no PM with 87 days of hardmode at the end I feel much better and almost healed. I did have sex during the reboot and had some streaks without O, mostly between 7 to 30 days. I had a lot of ups and downs. then I decided to go hardmode = no O. still I had some sex here and there, but karezza only. now that I am ending my reboot, my biggest changes are
- MW is back, strong and long lasting
- erections are back when making out from the first second
- erections are stronger again and good enough to penetrate
- dick is more sensitive again, slight touch feels pleasant
- gained 5kg muscles
Change Your Mental POV
quitting porn is the obvious change one has to do from the beginning, just do it. but there are more changes involved that need to happen. you have to understand why you are doing this. it’s not that porn in general is bad (hear me out), but the way we interact with it. it’s about controlling urges, understanding that the flood of pleasant images and videos result in a mental damage. it’s like eating sweets for an obese person: the cake and stuff is so sweet and delicious but they are hurting themselves badly with the consumption. the body craves more sugar and simply can’t stop. same goes for porn and dopamine. the bodys, positions and everything they do in porn is absolutely stunning but it’s nothing your brain can work with in a healthy way.
t, but we have to understand that the consumption of those images lead to a) overstimulation with resulting desensitisation and b) loss of connection to reality.
for me it became clear that I can’t continue to watch those clips with a limp dick, but instead I want to become the person doing it,
if not, what is holding you back? we were trapped by becoming addicted to porn – but it’s still in our control. the seemingly infinite availability of appealing images is such a powerful magnet that it is hard to escape. but the price we pay for consumption is high, wasting precious time weakening our bodies and minds. instead, we must use this newly available time to become stronger. every day is a new chance to turn things around!
I am not a big fan of trigger warnings, porn blockers and all that stuff I read about here on the forum. because these images will be around no matter what you do. hot bodys will cross your way when you are outside (yes, go outside!). don’t start a panic attack because you saw some tits on twitter (btw, just leave most social media). it’s you who is in control. become aware of what is going on and relax. there is a sex scene in a movie? relax. enjoy the camera perspective, the sound and what the actors are doing. don’t start to freak out and leave the room. you won’t make it with such behaviour because then you will be on the run for the rest of your life. by dooming porn in general you are just looking for excuses. it’s you who is weak by falling for it. do not doom it, ignore it.
it's about the focus. do not focus on self pleasure and porn, focus on yourself. focus on improving your health, your strength. as long as you keep doing this, good stuff will happen. then pleasure will come to you.
Change Your Daily Activities
I did try different supplements during my reboot but none of them really changed my state. in case you are deficient, that’s another thing. get your vit-D checked of course. but everything else is a waste of money in the end. I tried Q10, black maca, theanine, rhodiola rosea, zinc.
focus on your nutrition! that's a no-brainer. eat fresh, organic food. pay attention to your caloric intake. there are apps for free that help you track your daily consumption (cronometer for example). since I am eating 3000kcal a day I feel much stronger, gained muscles and yes, also my MW is stronger in the morning. I eat three dishes a day and focus on getting at least 4h in between. eat 1-1.5g of protein per kg, depending on your physical activity level. pay attention to your gut health by eating fermented food like kimchi, sauerkraut, kefir and also increase your fiber intake drastically.
on top of this, here is what really helps:
focus on your sleep. no screentime before bed
get active. get up and out of that chair. fix your posture right now.
get sunlight in your eyes and on your skin as much as possible.
go outside as much as possible. go for a walk, be in touch with reality.
have eye contact with attractive woman. go out and start talking to them.
start a workout plan. hit a gym or get some resitance bands for your home.
doesn’t matter, just start. no money available? do push-ups in your room.
and yes, do stuff outside your comfort zone. I did a salsa class for example where I met a lot of interesting woman. read my experience here.
i really can't stress enough how important it is to get physically active. porn addiction brings with it mental dependency, which also manifests itself in physical decline. but we can reverse this process: by strengthening our bodies, our mental state also improves. before my reboot, i wouldn't have been able to write such a text because i couldn't concentrate and was constantly distracted. all this changes as soon as you give your body what it wants: exercise that makes you sweat and makes you realise your limits. have you ever seen a beautiful woman noticing your biceps with shining eyes while talking to you? let me tell you how powerful this is! go for it.
I will stop my rant right here. I am still in this process and improving day by day, but it feels healthy to make a step and stop journaling the reboot process.
feel free to reach out if you have questions. I might come back to post in another six months or so to update my journey. but for now, I am out (yes, outside!). see you there
Backstory
35M, watching porn for over 20 years. ED heavily increased over the last years, started at around age of 28. I am in a longterm relationship, so all of the following is happening with the same partner. you can read details of my reboot in my journal [here].
In the beginning, like 7-8 years ago, I would just sometimes loose my erections during intercourse, which wasn’t too concerning because during that time I was able to go quite long and it just felt like some kind of exhaustion. I masturbated daily as my sex drive is high. but as I got older, I lost my erections during sex much more often (roughly five years ago). you start to notice details like not being able to do doggystyle anymore and only doing positions that are easy on the body. then in my early thirties I started having trouble to get hard at all from the beginning, despite being aroused. No MW for years during that time.
While my sexual performance declined, I intensified my porn consumption which was already high before. porn consumption never really escalated in strange fetishes but I clearly noticed that I took more and more time to find the best video, more intense, to find another scene I am looking for and so on you know the drill. spending 3,4 or 5 hours a day with porn and a semi erection. at the same time my ED increased in my early 30s, my mental health started to make problems. I isolated myself, watched more porn and fell into a depressive state.
All of this bad shit had to happen to find the strength to turn things around. Not being able to penetrate a beautiful body that is begging you to fuck is one of the worst experiences I have made (countless times). I had to reach this low point to figure out that I have to change my daily behaviour in order to rewire my brain and get back on track.
Reboot
after 260 days of no PM with 87 days of hardmode at the end I feel much better and almost healed. I did have sex during the reboot and had some streaks without O, mostly between 7 to 30 days. I had a lot of ups and downs. then I decided to go hardmode = no O. still I had some sex here and there, but karezza only. now that I am ending my reboot, my biggest changes are
- MW is back, strong and long lasting
- erections are back when making out from the first second
- erections are stronger again and good enough to penetrate
- dick is more sensitive again, slight touch feels pleasant
- gained 5kg muscles
Change Your Mental POV
quitting porn is the obvious change one has to do from the beginning, just do it. but there are more changes involved that need to happen. you have to understand why you are doing this. it’s not that porn in general is bad (hear me out), but the way we interact with it. it’s about controlling urges, understanding that the flood of pleasant images and videos result in a mental damage. it’s like eating sweets for an obese person: the cake and stuff is so sweet and delicious but they are hurting themselves badly with the consumption. the body craves more sugar and simply can’t stop. same goes for porn and dopamine. the bodys, positions and everything they do in porn is absolutely stunning but it’s nothing your brain can work with in a healthy way.
I love bootys, big tits and watching a blonde gagging on a cock while sucking i
for me it became clear that I can’t continue to watch those clips with a limp dick, but instead I want to become the person doing it,
I want to be the one getting his dick sucked. you want a hottie to gag on your cock? go work for it. are you in a physical shape that attracts a hot blonde with big tits?
I am not a big fan of trigger warnings, porn blockers and all that stuff I read about here on the forum. because these images will be around no matter what you do. hot bodys will cross your way when you are outside (yes, go outside!). don’t start a panic attack because you saw some tits on twitter (btw, just leave most social media). it’s you who is in control. become aware of what is going on and relax. there is a sex scene in a movie? relax. enjoy the camera perspective, the sound and what the actors are doing. don’t start to freak out and leave the room. you won’t make it with such behaviour because then you will be on the run for the rest of your life. by dooming porn in general you are just looking for excuses. it’s you who is weak by falling for it. do not doom it, ignore it.
it's about the focus. do not focus on self pleasure and porn, focus on yourself. focus on improving your health, your strength. as long as you keep doing this, good stuff will happen. then pleasure will come to you.
Change Your Daily Activities
I did try different supplements during my reboot but none of them really changed my state. in case you are deficient, that’s another thing. get your vit-D checked of course. but everything else is a waste of money in the end. I tried Q10, black maca, theanine, rhodiola rosea, zinc.
focus on your nutrition! that's a no-brainer. eat fresh, organic food. pay attention to your caloric intake. there are apps for free that help you track your daily consumption (cronometer for example). since I am eating 3000kcal a day I feel much stronger, gained muscles and yes, also my MW is stronger in the morning. I eat three dishes a day and focus on getting at least 4h in between. eat 1-1.5g of protein per kg, depending on your physical activity level. pay attention to your gut health by eating fermented food like kimchi, sauerkraut, kefir and also increase your fiber intake drastically.
on top of this, here is what really helps:
focus on your sleep. no screentime before bed
get active. get up and out of that chair. fix your posture right now.
get sunlight in your eyes and on your skin as much as possible.
go outside as much as possible. go for a walk, be in touch with reality.
have eye contact with attractive woman. go out and start talking to them.
start a workout plan. hit a gym or get some resitance bands for your home.
doesn’t matter, just start. no money available? do push-ups in your room.
and yes, do stuff outside your comfort zone. I did a salsa class for example where I met a lot of interesting woman. read my experience here.
i really can't stress enough how important it is to get physically active. porn addiction brings with it mental dependency, which also manifests itself in physical decline. but we can reverse this process: by strengthening our bodies, our mental state also improves. before my reboot, i wouldn't have been able to write such a text because i couldn't concentrate and was constantly distracted. all this changes as soon as you give your body what it wants: exercise that makes you sweat and makes you realise your limits. have you ever seen a beautiful woman noticing your biceps with shining eyes while talking to you? let me tell you how powerful this is! go for it.
I will stop my rant right here. I am still in this process and improving day by day, but it feels healthy to make a step and stop journaling the reboot process.
feel free to reach out if you have questions. I might come back to post in another six months or so to update my journey. but for now, I am out (yes, outside!). see you there
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