Has anyone ever fullfilled their sissy fantasies ?

Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by Burundi24, Sep 11, 2018.

  1. Burundi24

    Burundi24 Fapstronaut

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    Hello,
    I know that the sissy fetish is a very common fetish in this community and many people struggle with this fetish.
    I'm imagining myself as the woman in porn video for many years now and I had a crossdresser fetish even before I started watching porn. Like many other people who have this kind of fetish I love the fantasy of having sex dressed as a woman with a men but in general I don't feel really attracted to men in real life.

    I'm just aking myself if anyone has ever fullfiled these kind of sissy fantasies with a real men in real life ? How did you feel when you tried it out and how do you judge this experience afterwards ?
    I have never fullfiled this kind of fantasy mainly because I think it might feel great during the actual sexual act but afterwards I will feel terrible. But a part of me really wants to try out this fantasy in real life. I'm generally a really open minded person and I believe that you're entitled to do (almost) everything you want as long as you don't hurt anyone else. Morally I don't see any problem in fullfilling this fantasy but I still think this might damage my sexuality in the longterm.
    Sorry for bad english.
     
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  2. sayonaraPMO

    sayonaraPMO Fapstronaut

    Hey @Burundi24, I haven't had any experience with sissification. However, I would say that watching porn makes us want to do more and more extreme things. I think you would certainly enjoy the experience as your brain would release lots of dopamine in response to the new extreme sexual situation - but it will damage you further in reality and make it harder for you to get out of the addiction.

    If you've had sissy fantasies that are caused by watching porn, then these thoughts will eventually fade as a memory. You'll still remember how it made you feel, but it will have less hold on you. I'm 60 days NoPMO and I don't think about porn/fantasy much anymore - despite having my own fetishes, they are a distant memory now.

    If you act on this fantasy, you will find it much harder to forget and let go of that experience.
     
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  3. James0224

    James0224 Fapstronaut

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    Like sayonara PMO, I think an issue is that you may ‘think’ that experiencing this fantasy in real life would feel good, but when it actually comes to it, it is not as good as you thought.
     
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  4. Burundi24

    Burundi24 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for the replies. But I would actually like to know how fulfilling this fantasy is by someone who actually has a sissy fetish. Or do you guys think that almost noone fulfills these fantasies and they're just fantasies in our head that are not supossed to be fulfilled ?
    Or maybe someone also has an extreme fetish and made it reality and could tell
    me about his experience.
     
  5. Headspace

    Headspace Fapstronaut

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    Well, at least the actors in the films do fulfill them.

    Why is it important to know? Couldn't it be the addicted part of your brain talking here? I suppose the experience will be different for everyone. I was into gay porn earlier, thought a lot about acting out and got dangerously close to this, and in the process of doing so I googled forums etc. trying to receive that very same information: How was it? And they were all different. Some enjoyed it, some didn't.

    Moreover, regarding the moral part: Yay, sexual freedom for everyone, but are you really sure it is alright just because you don't hurt anyone else, or could this be rationalization? Whenever I have kinky thoughts or desires to act out, I like to tell myself that I will only do things which I will be able to admit to my future wife. If I need to keep them to myself, bury this secret in that dark corner of my mind, that is no good (and it might eventually lead to actions which involve hurting others, such as my wife). Experimenting with guys just for the fun would be one of those secrets. Telling this to myself usually puts things where they belong again. It could be different for you, of course.
     
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  6. CCJACK

    CCJACK Fapstronaut

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    I’ll tell you a bit about my story as it may be relevant. I started P and M when I was about 12 and got very into it, and quickly started to realize that gay porn excited me. There was something wrong about it that just got the dopamine going and I started to imagine what it would be like to essentially be in the girls position by being a bottom and forced to pleasure a man. After talking in chat rooms online I actually had my first male encounter when I was about 15. I went over to a guys house and we gave each other head. In the moment I remembered thinking I enjoyed it - until I orgasmed and I was racked with guilt over what I’d done. I told myself I wouldn’t do it again and would remember how it made me feel.

    Fast forward to university and I had another encounter for oral - same overall result of guilt. I soon got a girlfriend and we dated for a few years, but in that time I was still occasionally watching gay porn to excite me. The two of us did do some BDSM stuff because she was into it but at the time I felt it wasn’t enough, but I was also too ashamed and scared to tell her that I wanted to actually have sex with a man. So, I made up other reasons to break up with her, and about a month later I had full on sex with a guy. And, it simply put wasn’t good. I don’t know if I was just too insecure and awkward but the whole thing just felt a little off to me and not nearly as pleasurable as the videos had made it. I wasn’t enjoying it like the guys in P so, I was uncomfortable. And following that again regret and even more over the fact I ended a relationship with my first love for THAT.

    That was about 6 years ago and I haven’t been with any guys since although Still watched lots of P. I did eventually meet my now wife, told her all about my past and while she’s not really into BDSM / doesn’t even have a high sex drive she has still indulged my fantasies with the occasional pegging session, which gives me the feeling of submission / fantasies of giving oral but with a partner that also doesn’t make me feel guilty after doing it. But if all I had really wanted was kinky sex, ironically the girl I threw away would have been a better fit.

    I guess the main takeaway I would say is that you really can’t know until you try it but at the same time you may not realize what you’re giving up, and the fact that it can’t be undone. For me peace with it only happened when I found a girl who I loved for reasons beyond sex, and who understood and was willing to support me in my own challenges. And I still struggle with it because now my concerns are the fact that I’m asking her to do things I know she doesn’t really like because I can’t shake my fetishes - but it’s a big improvement from where I was. At least I have a partner I can be open with and can if I want to utilize a safe avenue to fulfil some fantasies without the P, M, or guilt around my sexuality.
     
  7. CCJACK

    CCJACK Fapstronaut

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    But - are you saying you wouldn’t be able to admit experimentation with a future wife? IMHO and based in my own experience you shouldn’t let that stop you from an experience if you truly feel you need it to know who you are. There are PLENTY of women out there who are going to be fine with it and a lot who even are aroused by it. If they judge you just based on that then you can do better
     
  8. You say, as long as it doesnt hurt anyone else, its ok. Thing is, this will potentionally hurt YOU. Doesnt sound like anything good for a mental health to me.

    How long are you P free? At least a year? If not, than wait that year, than re-evaluate.
     
  9. Reborn16

    Reborn16 Fapstronaut

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    It's best to put all sexual activities and thoughts (to the best of your abilities) on hold for 90 days, and see how you feel then.

    When we're in this addiction, or in the early days away from it, our judgement is simply not great. I'm changing my mind a lot lately, but I realise my mind is changing too, so I just have to wait it out and not do anything too drastic until I'm a few months clean!
     
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  10. Feed the Mind

    Feed the Mind Fapstronaut

    Hi Burundi! I have acted out one of my fetishes twice. I escalated to CEI porn, then to sissy porn and finally to transsexual porn. Originally I found transsexual porn repulsive, but the gradual increase make me aroused by things I would have otherwise not been. I believe I have trained my brain to be aroused by these things. Reading the experiences of others that seems to be the case. I was watching more and more transsexual porn and because I also have an escort habit, I decided to act on that fetish and hire a transsexual escort. The first time it was a bit odd, just like when you start watching a new genre and kind of know it's not what you are into but push through it. I felt confused afterwards, I'm not gay yet I was turned on by the experience and I enjoyed it. I felt shame / regret afterwards and told myself I would stop. That experience reinforced my arousal to transsexuals to a new level, and I currently feel attracted to transsexuals as much as I am attracted to women. The second experience with another transsexual escort didn't feel strange at all. You are training your brain to like these things until they become normal, I think that acting them out makes them stronger. The more you feed it the more it wants, do you really want to develop these new desires that are more and more difficult to satiate? I know that I no longer want to be a slave to these desires.
     
  11. EndOfTheRoad

    EndOfTheRoad Fapstronaut

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    As someone who had been into the sissy fetish for a couple of decades I can tell you that it's the most destructive thing I can think of. I know alcoholism or heroin addiction looks like and believe me, while they are damaging and extremely hard to quit, sissy hypnos are just another level. They literally change your desires, your personality, your core self and destroy your self-image, self-appreciation. Of course usually there are already such underlying issues of inadequacy and not enough self-love.

    In any case, I did go really far. I knew I did not like men, I knew I was addicted but that was what was making it even more perverse and exciting. The embarrassment and humiliation; because I didn't love myself I had to hurt me in order to feel in familiar territory and escape reality.

    I went really far. Had been in chastity for long, shaving, dressing 24/7, I was feeling and behaving feminine, I would dress up and go out to find sexual partners, in my mind I was destined to be a sissy. For a long time I had no erections. I was only orgasming from anal and nipple play and thought that my penis was useless and I'd never have a manly orgasm again. I had an ex gf who was an alcoholic bring me men to have sex with, met men from classified ads etc. etc. I was considering implants and hormones and the whole sick thing. Even when I would get to my senses I just couldn't let go. I thought that this was the only way for me to be happy and get sexual satisfaction. But then I realised that long term the only thing it was doing to me was making me miserable. The sexual experiences were never close to the fantasy and I was always left feeling empty. Several times even if I was really aroused, the moment the man was trying to enter me I was feeling a huge pain back there. It was my real self telling me "what on earth are you doing?!?!?!"... The thing that protected me from taking hormones and doing other irreparable changes to my body was that I wanted to have children and I know how it feels to love a woman..I'd remember that every time I was close to change my body for good.

    After each encounter I would wash my mouth and myself obsessively. After orgasming I would cry and tell myself that this is it, it's over...But believe me, it can never be over unless you cure the underlying cause of this self-destructive practice. Until I started telling honestly to myself that I love me, I am amazing and that independently of what others, my parents or ex girlfriends think, I am a wonderful and very good hearted human being who wants to love and be loved, I was never able to stop.

    The insidious hypnosis of reaching "the point of no return" was what was making it so overwhelmingly exciting...until I read so many stories of people that went back to being themselves from much more advanced transitions.There is no point of no return. There is only being yourself or being a scared, inadequate, not loved creature that is escaping reality.

    Now for the first time I not only do not feel a part attached to this poison but my whole heart, soul and body have separated from it and see it as a survival strategy that served me in the past but has stopped having any useful function. On the contrary, it is taking away the most beautiful soul mate I could have imagined. My gf left me because of me sharing my fantasies with her. She couldn't handle it because I seemed to not have any desire for her, while the only human being I desire is her :(

    So, to sum up, no, acting on your (especially porn induced) sexual fantasies is never as good as the fantasy. On the contrary it further destroys your self-respect and it pushes you further into the poison. I am not telling you to do it or not to do it. I am merely sharing my experience. If you want to be yourself give up fantasizing, porn, masturbation and edging and start living the real life.
     
  12. Michael1995

    Michael1995 New Fapstronaut

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    Hey
    Sorry for had english.
    Im sorry for telling my story in suck nasty detail but here it is.

    I had a pretty dark period in my life about 2 years ago. Im 23 now.
    It started off with wathing straight porn since i was 13. Then it somehow went to shemale and then started fantasising about shemales having sex with me.
    When i was 19 started to fantasise about men pebetrating me. But at the same time still wanting a girlfriend.
    This stuff went worse and worse also because i started getting erections easier for gay porn.
    I often did the same thing a lot of guys do is start off with gay porn and finish with girl masturbating porn.


    I bought my first dildo at age 19.
    I liked the feeling of a cock inside me.
    The second i ejaculated i felt disgusted. But the urge i felt that im pleasuring a man was soo good that i kept on doing it.

    At age 20 i moved to another country for work and thats when everything went downhill. Probably because of loneliness.

    I started looking for men on grindr. The guy had to be top so i could bottom. I wasnt into kissing. It was like i was just after his cock. I was so obsessed with just pleasing men sexually.

    So i found a guy. I went to his place late like 11pm. I was crazy nervous ( heart pounding, mouth dry). I got a boner as soon as i sat on his bed.
    I explained to him it was my first time with a man. I started giving him oral and later i tried sitting on his penis. It felt weird at first. I was actually enjoying it.

    After trying a couple of positions he came on my stomach during missionary(just the idea that i satisfied a guy made me happy). The second i came i felt soo disgusted with myself. We talked a bit after and he seemed to like it. I deleted grindr right after i left his house.
    I didnt want anything to do with men anymore.... but no it was like i had forgotten how it made me feel after sex.

    I had sex with 6 different men in 5 months. They were always older like (30-35).
    I actually acepted the thought for a period that i am gay. And it was always the same i was a total bottom for them like a girl would be.
    I even bought a thong to look sexier for one guy.
    I was still dissapointed and disgusted with myself after every time. And again forgot how bad it made me feel everytime.

    I stopped finding men to have sex with after i had sex with a 45 yo guy. We roleplayed dad and son incest where i would call him daddy and he was teaching me how to pleasure him. It had gone too far .

    Now i have returned to my home country and found out about nofap, hocd.
    It feels like i have gone down a bad road like a lot of guys.( mine maybe too far)

    So i started nofap hard mode 46 days ago And im feeling a lot better about myself. I havent thought about gay stuff anymore.
    Im pretty sure this whole gay thoughts can be cured. I know im straight.
    I feel less anxious around girls.
    Got morning wood back and dreams.

    In conclusion i was an idiot from age 13-present.:d
    I really want to go back to normal.

    Could you guys give me your oppinion on my story.

    Thank you for listening.
     
    Last edited: Jun 30, 2019
  13. Reborn16

    Reborn16 Fapstronaut

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    Thank you for sharing, I can relate a lot to this.

    What can I say, other than your story hits home on how this bad habit can cause us to reach out for connection in the wrong ways.

    You're on the right idea highlighting loneliness. I have noticed this too. Whenever I am on a study break or don't have enough things to do, things can potentially get worse.

    Glad to hear you're seeing a different and better mindset now though! I can relate to this also. While I am still yet to get completely away from porn, I have distanced myself from fetish ideas like cross dressing or bisexual sex, which are not my true interest.

    All the best man, keep going!
     
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  14. DeepSeaDiver

    DeepSeaDiver Fapstronaut

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    Sorry to hear all this because it sounds like this has brought you a lot of pain and mental anguish.

    First, don’t be too hard on yourself. These were consensual encounters, and you were filling an impulse or need at the time. Not knowing you, it’s hard to say what caused you to want to please men in this way.

    Having random partners is generally not sustainable for mental health over an extended period of time. I would put this in your mind as you were exploring, you were lonely, but exploring your sexuality by casual sex is not something you are going to do in the future. If you want a heterosexuals relationship, focus on that at some point when you are in a better head space with all of this.

    There seems to be a subset of men who identify as straight, but still have a desire to go out and have sexual encounters with other men.
    Don’t beat yourself up over this. Congratulations on your hard mode reset.
     
    jblaze129 likes this.
  15. Orpheus12

    Orpheus12 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for sharing this. I’m in my 20s with similar fetishistic desires but have never acted in them. Reading things like this further solidified in my mind that I never will. Did you ever fear that you wouldn’t be able to perform sexually with a girl because of these feelings?
     
  16. Orpheus12

    Orpheus12 Fapstronaut

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    Thank you for this as well. I feel like I’m in exactly your situation but before you acted on it. Do you have any advice beyond “don’t do it” of course. How can you re-orient yourself towards having a spontaneous desire for women in the sexual sense.
     
  17. Michael1995

    Michael1995 New Fapstronaut

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    I only learn from mistakes.
    So just dont do it.

    I have never looked at guys in public in a sexual way.
    So i just know what i was doing has to be wrong.
    Basically cut out gay thoughts and they seen to be fading.

    Yesterday saw a girls boobs in a movie.
    So for a second i imagined her boobs when i was laying in bed.
    I got this euphoric feeling that ive never had before. No erection just like feeling of love like happiness. Idk couldn get sleep for a few hours.
     
  18. jblaze129

    jblaze129 New Fapstronaut

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    Thank you for sharing your story. I could relate to many of the things you went through and reading your story gives me hope. Im glad you made it here and are taking the right steps.
     
    Michael1995 likes this.

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