Has anyone lived their fetishes out, only to be left disappointed?

Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by I Hate PMO, Oct 23, 2021.

  1. I Hate PMO

    I Hate PMO Fapstronaut

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    I also thought about this kinda. I decided to try not to drink coffee for a day, and when I got withdrawal symptoms I realized that if I could have a big McDonald's meal and watch the funniest movie ever, I could go through withdrawal.

    I also have these thoughts, that "If Id have started to play an instrument from an early age I could just be in a band with my buddies right now ".

    My life is okay, I'm studying something I like, I don't have bad relationships with anyone. Everything's cool. But fucking boring.

    The world is so huge and I'm exploring nothing of it. You can try to do so many things in life but I don't do it.

    Let's say that I just fear that I'd be missing out on something in life if I wouldn't live these fantasies out

    I really fear that I'd be lying in my death bed and regret is, that I didn't do it as long as I was young (in a physical sense)

    I already am cool with missing out on all the relationship stuff as I got comfortable on being single, never had a girlfriend, not even kiss or hug, so I'm okay with not having a relationship, because I just got used to it and love my single life

    But I don't know if this will happen with my sexuality too, that at some point my brain will be okay with giving up sexuality all together

    As for self esteem: I don't have low self esteem, compared with my peers I have pretty high self esteem. I rather mean by "because I deserve it" that as I'm already a PMO addict with a lot of kinks, I deserve to be fucked anally by a butt plug

    So it's more about the sexual shame i guess?

    So what can I do to make my life so interesting that it'll be not worth PMOing and living out my fantasies?
     
  2. WildEntheology

    WildEntheology Fapstronaut

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    You'll learn far more from reading those books than what I could explain in a post.
     
  3. iwontfail67

    iwontfail67 Fapstronaut

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    What. Sissies are disgusting and depressed people who hate themselves. So hot, isn't it.
     
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  4. I Hate PMO

    I Hate PMO Fapstronaut

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    I mean by the looks they are hotter than some women I know. It's because Sissies actually try to look more feminine than some women do (in terms of clothing, hair, make up), at least the ones who i know.

    Of course some sissies will always look like a guy with a wig, but there are some who genuinely look more feminine than some women i know.
     
  5. iwontfail67

    iwontfail67 Fapstronaut

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    It seems like you are doing everything possible to try and justify to yourself why you want to become a sissy.

    Dude. Sissys are depressed, self-hating people who have wired their sexual pleasure to self degradation. They live for that quick shock that the get when they are deathgripping themselves, putting all of their energy into acting like a pornstar. Everytime they hate themselves more and more. You have spent so much time watching girls in porn getting degraded in all those extreme ways, that you have convinced yourself that you want to be that girl. Many have had this problem, but ALL of them know that it isn't right, and isn't what they truly want. But you keep trying to justify why becoming a sissy is the best thing for you.

    Ask yourself, WHY. Why do you want to be a sissy, since you clearly really want to, and you're just waiting for someone to tell you that you should do it, so at least you don't assume full responsibility for the shit that will follow if you decide to take that step. So why? Why do you want to be a sissy? What do you get out of it? What happens before you initiate this act, what happens during the act, and what happened after the act? How do you feel in each of those situations?

    How long can you justify sucking another dudes dick before you realise that its actually not what you thought it would be at all? How long can you justify getting fucked in the ass before you realise that it actually hurts and doesn't exactly please you at all? How are you going to make up for that, make more pornstar noises? Do some of those fake, over the top moans that all your favourite porn ACTORS do? And then what? What happens when you ejaculate during one of these scenarios, and you come back to your senses? You'll probably feel absolutely disgusted with yourself, but you're in too deep now to stop. Just gotta supress every natural feeling in your body that is telling you to stop, and continue living that mission of becoming the most self-degraded sissy in the world.

    Is that really what you want? Do you really want to go against who you are, throw away your entire life, and make your lifes purpose to become a fucking sissy? Your lifes purpose is to degrade and humiliate yourself as much as possible. If thats the case then all I can say is that out of all the 7 billion people in the world that I could have been, thank FUCK that I am not you.
     
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  6. I Hate PMO

    I Hate PMO Fapstronaut

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    First of all: I don't want to meet anyone because STDs and it'd be disgusting to suck another guys dick or to be fucked by an actual person

    What I mean is that I'd do every sexual activity solo with the help of sex toys when cross dressing

    But in a sense you're right, this could escalate and I'd want to try it out on real people only to get that post nut shame

    And to what kind of P I've been watching: It wasnt P where women were degraded and fucked and used as an object. More in the opposite direction, where a guy and a guys dick is the women's playground, so basically things like footjobs, foot worship, doms forcing guys to eat their own cum, doms forcing guys to dress like a sissy and to fuck them with that dildo belt thing, JOI, CEI,...

    So that's where I'm coming from
     
  7. Meshuga

    Meshuga Fapstronaut

    At some point you have to put the brakes on your addiction. I'm not even going to call it a fetish at this point. You say you use it to feel safe and grounded, the way you describe it sounds more like distracted. You're escaping into a fantasy world, fueled by dopamine associated with sexual thrill. You're an S addict, where it manifests with solo sissy play, just like I was/am an S addict where it manifests with P and obsession. You have to at least slow it down. You're talking about escalating though, you want to do it more, and you're telling yourself it'll stop before it gets too serious/dangerous for you but it won't. You're idolizing sissies, you're fantasizing about becoming that, and it's always going to take a little more to get the same hit, then a little more, then a little more, and you'll be deeper and deeper in it, and sooner or later you're either going to find the line you can't cross and you're going to wake up and ask yourself what you've done, or you're going to go mad with depression. It doesn't end any other way.

    Do what @WildEntheology says. Get a therapist specializing in S addiction.
     
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  8. I Hate PMO

    I Hate PMO Fapstronaut

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    I just feel like constantly hungry. Obviously I can't stop feeling like that by using logic and reason. My emotions just tell me that nylon is the best material in the world and having your legs (or your whole body in a catsuit) covered in nylon is a big privilege. And if I see women who wear pantyhose, I'm kinda sad that they don't appreciate it that much as it's just another clothing for them (or most). They are not interested in how soft their legs feel like, how comfortable they are, how their feet will stink up more than with usual socks and what a specific scent worn nylons produce down where the feet are

    Honestly, I don't know what to do anymore except to distract myself, but even that is just meh
     
  9. Meshuga

    Meshuga Fapstronaut

    You do have to distract yourself, because this is distracting you from your life. Like @WildEntheology said, it's rooted in a real desire for safety. You've convinced yourself this fetish is the ideal place, but it is only going to breed more dissatisfaction.

    And you need to stop with the acting out in the posts. You don't quit your addiction by romanticizing it. It sucks that gender norms in the West have somehow decreed that men's clothes aren't comfortable or particularly attractive. It's Beau Brummel's fault, guy was a tool, but that's beside the point. Porn, for me, was a life sucking leech. In some ways I want to say my addiction wasn't as advanced as yours, because I didn't escalate into the same places and my use, according to some, was "managed" in acceptable amounts, and I didn't glorify it the way you do. On the other hand, I actively wanted to die. P was the only thing that gave me relief from the awful, miserable, drudgery of common existence, but for me, P was causing that awful drudgery. I had to go through a time, several weeks, where I was sore and cranky and didn't see any real improvement in my feelings, I had to act on faith that P was wrong and I even made peace with the possibility that I would feel that wretched forever but I still wasn't going to look at P. And it did eventually get better. I haven't had suicidal thoughts in a couple months now, nothing consistent anyway.

    You love your fetish, and it's eating you from the inside and making you miserable when you do anything but indulge it. You have to stop.

    There's a lot of people here who are thoughtfully, kindly trying to help. Please listen to them, for your own sake.
     
  10. Chug

    Chug Fapstronaut

    @I Hate PMO : okay, I’ve read through this thread (and some of your other threads) and let me share some tough love.

    Context: I crossdress. I enjoy anal. I’m heteroflexible. But the important thing is that I don’t spend all day obsessing about it, thinking things would better only if... only if... only if...

    There is a hole you are trying to fill with the nylon fetish, with your goal of sissyfication, and your other named pursuits in your head. I guarantee you that the hole will not be filled with that. You can enjoy those activities, for sure. But you think it will be fulfilling. But it won’t be. The fact you say you find life boring tips me off to the idea that you are generally surfing a wave of missing something in your life. That hole is probably going to be filled by something *else* that you’re overlooking because of your fixation on “things will be better whe I can live my weekends as a sissy” and brother, it won’t be like that. Because you’ll have missed seeing that *other* thing all along in your pursuit of an alternate lifestyle.

    We’re all trying to help. It’s not an issue of what you’re interested in. It’s the fixation that is leading you astray.
     
  11. I Hate PMO

    I Hate PMO Fapstronaut

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    But what hole, as I've been fantasizing about cross dressing since age 6? I honestly can't think of any hole, I basically want to do it because it'd feel good. But you're right that there must be a hole, a reason for my obsession, because I enjoy McDonald's too but I'm not obsessed

    As I once mentioned, living my fetishes out would be like forgetting about any of my problems. I could just go into a fantasy world. A very soft and pleasurably stinking fantasy world.

    But as I said, that's something I had since age 6. That's the tricky part here
     
  12. E31

    E31 Fapstronaut

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    It doesn't matter how old you are, for your needs not getting met, to experience pain or other things that would cause someone wanting to escape reality. Especially at age 6.
    That being said, maybe you just like it and thats that. But it became addictive.

    Thats not the tricky part, thats you rationalizing why you couldn't just stop it for while and especially get rid of your porn addiction. Keep at it, kick the habit as have many before you and if you still wanna wear nylons afterwards, by all means do it. Just make sure to listen to enough Gorgoroth afterwards :p jk, much love bro!
     
  13. I Hate PMO

    I Hate PMO Fapstronaut

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    I mean, the basic reason why I'm obsessed with nylons is because as I said, my aunt rubbed my pp with her foot in nylon socks when I was 4 years old, and I remember that I enjoyed it fucking much, I was like wtf is that good feeling without realizing the sexual connection

    I don't know how I got from that to pantyhose though. A pantyhose just seems so restrictive yet liberating

    Yes, I am a sex addict. I even sometimes imagine that I'm a billionaire which has his own harem and 20 (i can even describe how every single one of them looks like as they're just my top 20 most attractive females i know from rl or porn) "playbunnies" to do whatever he wants to do with them (them getting a huge paycheck of course for the service)

    I also thought about getting addicted to something different (like cigarettes) so my mind will be occupied with another substance instead of sex. But that's health wise a terrible idea, but I seem so obsessed with it that I can't concentrate sometimes and all I do is to think about my perfect dom forcing me to feminize

    Would getting a gf solve the problem, or make it worse? I kind of feel it'd make it worse as I'd be too needy or something.
     
  14. throwaway123123

    throwaway123123 Fapstronaut

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    Wow, I read the whole thread and the OP is almost like I am/I was.
    Though I'm in my 30's.

    I joined this forum just to reply to this thread.
    I'm fighting this fetish since ever and feel like I'm expert on this topic lol.

    My only advice to OP is to keep doing NoFap and trying to occupy the mind with something else that he enjoys.
    It's not easy to fight fetish like this one, but it something that must be done.
    In my opinion, the OP also should try to find a girlfriend and maintain a healthy relationship with her. I think it will help him a lot.

    The OP also could try and wear pantyhose and see that it's nothing special... though I wouldn't recommend it but I heard about some people that it helped them.
     
    Last edited: Oct 27, 2021
  15. I Hate PMO

    I Hate PMO Fapstronaut

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    You know what?

    I just give it up

    I'll never be able to live this out, whether it's alone or with a girlfriend.

    Fuck this shit, I'm out
     
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  16. E31

    E31 Fapstronaut

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    :emoji_tada: Finally :emoji_trumpet::emoji_pray:

    Welcome to the good life ;)
     
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  17. I Hate PMO

    I Hate PMO Fapstronaut

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    Thanks. I just realized if others want to live it out (in whatever form), they should do it.

    But if I'm so fucking obsessed about it, it clearly just isn't something for me. I'm always gonna cry for more
     
  18. E31

    E31 Fapstronaut

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    Thats the attitude.
    You will experience that your thoughts about this will get a lot clearer after a while as you keep away from porn and I bet that after a few months it won't even excite you anymore as you find out how much potential there is in you and what this world can offer besides sex.
    It's a wonderful process, you can do it!
     
    Peaceful magic 21 likes this.
  19. Peaceful magic 21

    Peaceful magic 21 Fapstronaut

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    Might be worth getting some therapy to work over your aunty touching you when you’re 4 though dude! Luckily I got that feeling climbing a gym rope! And yea some of us will be a lot more sexually aroused as kids. But these deep kinks and coping mechanisms we have are hard to get rid of if we Pursue them. Trust me I wish I’d never started with the porn let alone femdom stuff because it can always get worse!
     
  20. I Hate PMO

    I Hate PMO Fapstronaut

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    I've got that epiphany when I visited the Instagram page if a girl I know who only exclusively was wearing pantyhose. Basically her new profile pic makes it kind of clear that she's into that in some sort of way (basically her presenting herself in a seducing way)

    At least I'd bed 1000 bucks that she must be into it somehow too

    And I just thought that if she (probably) is living this out, maybe with a bf, then fine. But I won't, although she's been my main fantasy for the past fucking year

    So, why even bothering to chase something you've got no chances to do? And even if you'd do it, you'd be crying because others are living it "more" out ie. being more kinkier?

    It's got those "my crush has a bf, fuck relationships" vibe you could say. But really, I'm rather not destined by God, Allah, the Universe, whatever you believe in to be living that shit out as I'm a almost 24 year old virgin who never even kissed or hugged a girl.

    So apparently that game is not for me. I've got other and better things to concentrate on.
     

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