Has anyone lived their fetishes out, only to be left disappointed?

I see.
So this solve your problem, isn't it?
If women are so evil they don't need to live rent free in your head.

 

Some gold material for therapy right here.
You really should consider that, for your own sake.
You deserve a good life just as anyone else!

 

Just reminded me of this wonderful post by @Improv3r:

"Unhealed wounds are passed on from one generation to the next until someone has the courage to heal and break the cycle, no longer passing the poisoned chalice onto future generations."

Just imagine yourself 5 years from now.
Either thinking back on stalking a girl on instagram, getting negative emotions from that, escape these emotions through your porn use and a lot of vicious cycles like that.

Or...

Being in a very good state of mind where you can thank yourself for having had great experiences and slowly, persistently and step by step taken the right measures to ensure that you break free from all that negativity and build that kind of person that is interacting confident with the world, full of energy and excitement.
You are young, everything can change and there is so so many possibilities.
Its hard to recognize them but once you build the right momentum, things will drastically get better, promise!

 

I've lived out a few of my fetishes. Some were shameful, others boring, only a few were fun.

None* were fulfilling or character building.

What was fulfilling, turned out to be talking to women like they're normal people, walking up to a cute woman and starting a conversation despite the doubts and anxiety.

@E31 has some great advice there^
The 5 year model is popular because change takes time, and yet a few years can pass quickly. 5 years is realistic to get one's life comparatively improved.

It's okay to feel down now, but you can fix 1 thing this year, and another thing next year. Slowly getting to the point where you look in the mirror, think of your current lifestyle, and can't deny the changes!

*The only fulfilling experience was when I met a girl and had foot fetish fun with her a few times. I don't regret this, because there was no money involved, we both had fun, and I learnt a bit about women.

 

Destined to experience? Don't start overcompensating again now.
There is only two things in this world, the chaos/randomness of the universe and your choices.
Destiny doesn't exist because the future doesn't exist, only this moment right now. And you can always improve just this moment.
Also don't give up on something you couldn't experience yet because of your state of mind.
Get help with that, seriously!

 

It seems to me that you are still deeply hurt and continuously hurting. You have to give yourself time to heal.
You deserve a good life like my fellow Fapstronauts said. You can be tired of trying, you can be tired of improving, but that's what life is all about.
I will share with you a scene that you should watch and is relevant for life in general as it is for your current predicament HERE.
I suggest you watch it and carefully listen to the conversation and what Rocky says.

And remember what happens if you don't try to improve daily - you won't have a fulfilling life! More importantly one that you are proud and content with, happy with!
Think about this because that's a decision that you have to make and go with it for the rest of your life! You let go of the merry-go-round you will be unhappy!
Women aren't the root of all evil! You just need time to heal!

A bit of an offtopic but I also had a good foot fetish with my ex hehe. You not only find out more about women but you find out more about yourself too!

 

Nobody is convincing you to do anything really. We are just guiding you how to fix that hurt.
The choice for action is yours alone! It's your life!

 

Check out my story at Am I a Sissy?? (Actually a good story with happy ending, trust me, read the whole thing)

If you have any questions or replies let me know. I feel like you're in a very similar situation to me and you don't need to make the same mistakes I did lol