Hate Myself

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by The human failure, May 2, 2016.

  1. The human failure

    The human failure Fapstronaut

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    I think I used to be happy at some point. But ever since I developed chronic depression all I do is sit around and feel pity for myself/hate myself. I haven't made a new friend in years and I've never even held a girl's hand. The suicidal thoughts don't help much either. I just don't have the will or the drive to actually get up and do anything. There are days where I just lay on the floor of my room, I don't even eat or sleep just lay there. I don't even know where I'm going with this >.<' Guess I just made another pity rant for myself >.<
     
  2. RyGuy

    RyGuy Fapstronaut

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    i use to be chronically depressed to the point where i would want to kill myself the second i awoke and the second before i drifted off into sleep. I had no friends, no job, dropped out of highschool, was smoking weed on a daily basis plus started experimenting with other drugs, and PMOing 2-4 times a day.
    a lot of my days consisted of what you said, just lying in bed doing nothing, I'd have no interest in anything or didn't want to do anything simply because i had no energy or drive, and there was a lot of self loathing. Always wondering why i was the way i am, beating myself up over it all the time.
    Eventually i came to a point where all the bad things in my life I just wanted to get rid of, i was just so tired of it all and because of that i started researching reasons why the way i was, that's when i found NoFap. From there i started weeding out bad habits from my life, now i'm at a point where i feel great and i'm happy with where i'm at, obviously i still got a LONG ways to go, but point is it gets better (a bit cliché but its true). it got better for me and there's no reason it won't get better for you, take things one step at a time and most importantly do not give up.
    it'll get better i promise :)
     
  3. zadvanceppa

    zadvanceppa Fapstronaut

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    I truly believe that you feel the way you do because of the weed and the PMO'ing. I did that all at your age. For very long beyond that age too. I don't know how I got thru those difficult , sad ,years. But, you have discovered something that I had no idea about. PMO brings about depression. I know because I made it 90 and 180 days and other shorter streaks in these past 2 years of my porn, jerking off discoveries. I feel remarkably better when I get time without it. Yeah, a void ,at first without it. Us men change ourselves chemically by over doing things. We see sex all around us these days. If we aren't getting sex, we release with all the available outlets. Forget morals , we are over stimulating and somehow altering our natural bodily functions and it exaggerates depression. It is explained much better by others here and at YBOP.
     
    New Life Mantra 333 likes this.
  4. cosmicspaceman

    cosmicspaceman Fapstronaut

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    Hey buddy. Sorry to hear you are feeling down. I remember being in a place like you are now. But much like what Ryguy said, it does get better. I suggest trying some meditation to help control your thoughts a little better. It really helped me during my down time. And don't forget, everyone feels the same way you do at some point in their life when they are trying to figure it all out. If you go on FaceBook you may see everyone having a great time, you just have to remember not to compare your behind the scenes with their highlight reel.

    Best of luck.
     
    New Life Mantra 333 likes this.
  5. noviceambition

    noviceambition Fapstronaut

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    First, get up, eat something, and drink something (not alcohol), with what energy you can muster up. DO NOT LAY BACK DOWN AFTER, find a place to sit and chow down.

    After that, you need to express your feelings. Get something to write with, and get a piece of paper, then write everything that's on your mind. Write down all your misery, complain why life is treating you bad, write down everything responsible for how you feel right now. It doesn't have to be grammatically correct, it doesn't have to be written on the lines, you can draw things, or scribble on everything you wrote. Do this at least once everyday. Eventually, you will feel like your head is literally empty. Whatever obsessions you had before have been transferred to the paper you wrote on. Put all your written paper into a container where you can keep them all in one place (if you live with family or roommates, be sure to hide this from them). Ideally, you can find a composition book or something to become your daily journal. After you displace your negativity, start introducing things that make you happy. Listen to some happy music, watch something that makes you happy, play something that makes you happy, get the happy in and the sadness out. Whenever you feel like you need to vent, write, draw, scribble.

    And one last thing, reduce your PMOs. Get it down to one a day, preferably before you sleep at night. Starting your day with a PMO will drain you, and don't do it in the afternoon. Sitting down, is better than laying down throughout the day. But get up and move around to get your blood flowing. Your PMOs are probably the reason why you choose to lay down. You're actually tricking yourself into sleeping all day. If you need something to do, start with chores, they never run out. Plus they will make you feel better.

    Update: Or, you can avoid your computer for awhile. That actually helped me the most.
     
    Last edited: May 7, 2016
  6. InvisibleControl

    InvisibleControl Fapstronaut

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    Watch his videos.it helps -
     

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