hate porn

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Great Me, Oct 8, 2021.

  1. Great Me

    Great Me Fapstronaut

    I found that the first step of Nofap is to first hate the porn.i don't know how to do it but i need to do it.
    Can you suggest some ways to hate porn
     
  2. MindfulWarrior

    MindfulWarrior Fapstronaut

    I'm not sure if this is the first step or even necessary but if you saw this industry for what it truly is you could only see how terrible it is.
    What I mean is don't you have adverse feelings for it already?

    To answer your question though, I can think of the True Stories playlist from Fight the New Drug.
     
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  3. Mr.Tony

    Mr.Tony Fapstronaut

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    Go watch Human Trafficking movies, Read articles about how women have been threated making porn, watch youtube videos on NoFap and Subconsciously start seeing asking God to help and start hating it the more you come closer to God. - If you are a religious person.
     
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  4. Quezatolah

    Quezatolah Fapstronaut

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    I've no reason to hate that which is beneath me, all I feel towards it is pity.
     
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  5. MindfulWarrior

    MindfulWarrior Fapstronaut

    Yeah I think something similar, when you understand it, you don't really hate it, it's more like disgust and sadness than anger.
    I guess we are angry when we feel powerless because of our inability to stop watching it so we feel we are its victims.
     
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  6. Fishn1

    Fishn1 Fapstronaut

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    Hate the aftereffects. For me it's self loathing, anger, intense anxiety and depression. Also embarassment around people I know, great shame. The worst thing I have realized is that this has controlled my life with this never ending conflict inside, and the crazy urges brought on by repeated use. I want to just experience normal reality again without this never ending hell. I think it's called freedom.
     
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  7. Great Me

    Great Me Fapstronaut

    If we hate porn , then it will be easy for anyone as we will find that you will not miss anything and the urges will be so low
     
  8. PMOare4SoyBoys

    PMOare4SoyBoys Fapstronaut

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    Do you pity murderers, criminals and rapists too?
     
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  9. WildEntheology

    WildEntheology Fapstronaut

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    Adding more hate to the world is simply going to fill the world with more hate. Hate is what has bred this toxic industry into existence in the first place. If you feel hatred you are subjecting yourself to the toxicity of feeling hatred. If you sit here hating porn you aren't actually doing anything to porn, you're just filling yourself with more negativity.

    Forgive porn, forgive the people involved, and most of all, forgive yourself. The path to recovery of ourselves and of our society is through forgiveness and love. Break the vicious cycle of hatred and do what you can to create a virtuous cycle upward.
     
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  10. Quezatolah

    Quezatolah Fapstronaut

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    I need context when it comes to murderers before I decide how I feel about them.

    Criminals in general have no excuse for their actions although I understand why they are criminals, poverty is the mother of crime and poverty is a state of mind more than a real circumstance.

    As for rapists, am I 100% sure someone is a rapist? So many "rapists" behind bars these days who didn't actually rape, in general if you can prove beyond any doubt someone is a rapist then I have no empathy for them.
     
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  11. PegasusKid

    PegasusKid Fapstronaut

    My concern with you hating porn is that if you end up slipping up and indulge in porn, that would breed a lot of self hate usually, cause now you indulged in something you hate. I get the logic though, but i think as someone else said forgiveness might be a more fulfilling route. Hate is a really strong and usually toxic feeling, but I think if there is anything to hate it might be the feeling/effects porn has on your life. When you dislike your circumstances a lot, that can sometimes become a driver for change. But i don't think hate is something you can artificially force yourself to feel, if it doesn't naturally resonate with you already maybe its not that necessary for you.
     
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  12. WildEntheology

    WildEntheology Fapstronaut

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    What if that rapist was themselves the victim of childhood rape? What if they had been further corrupted by a pornography addiction that had fed off of the deep trauma they had experienced because of their childhood abuse? Would you have empathy for them then?

    The fact of the matter is that most people who commit violent crimes were themselves victims of violent crime. It is a cycle of hate and violence that breeds more hate and violence. If we reduce everyone who has committed even the worst of crimes to the label of "monster" we blind ourselves to the very real horrors that led to them becoming the kind of person who could commit that crime.

    If we want a more empathetic system that can create more empathetic people, we must begin putting more empathy into that system. It is our responsibility to create the society we want and so again, if we want a loving, forgiving, virtuous society we must ourselves be loving, forgiving, and virtuous.

    Does this mean we should allow rapists, murders, or any other criminal roam freely? No, absolutely not. You can be empathetic and loving while still imprisoning someone for the crimes they've committed. It's just another feature of our hate-corrupted society to think that you must hate someone to want to have them face the consequences of their crimes.
     
  13. Quezatolah

    Quezatolah Fapstronaut

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    Someone can be a rapist while coming from a normal and stable childhood with loving parents, true evil exists. Everyone who chooses to be a criminal doesn't have a sob story and even if they did it doesn't excuse their actions.
     
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  14. WildEntheology

    WildEntheology Fapstronaut

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    Firstly, in no way, shape, or form am I excusing anyone's actions. Like I said, all people who commit crimes should face the consequences of those crimes. My point is not in excusing them of the behaviour, my point is in how we view these people. We can punish someone while still loving them and forgiving them.

    The truth is that if they are a rapist then they have a brain that makes them a rapist. Imagine what it would be like if you were born with genetics that led to increased aggression and low empathy. Your sob story is that you were born with those genetics and so living in the corrupted society we live in you were inevitably going to turn into a rapist. Do you see that?

    Think of it this way. When you relapse, do you feel in control? Or do you almost feel like an animal has taken you over and you can just watch as the porn animal goes through the motions of relapse? That's because you don't have control. In that moment your brain has been hijacked by an addiction that wants the porn far more than you want to quit porn.

    When a violent person commits the crime, they are possessed by the neurophysiology of violence. People don't just become violent. It's not like one day they just wake up and say, "you know what, today I'm going to rape someone." They are violent because their brain is such that they cannot help but commit violence. Think about that. Who would commit violence other than a person whose brain was so fucked up that they think the violence is something they should do?

    Either they don't have control of their actions, or they have a brain that makes them think committing violence is a good choice.

    In either of those situations how can you not pity them? How can you not have empathy for them?

    Would you wish being a murderer on your worst enemy? Would you punish someone by giving them a brain that made them a murderer?

    And yet when we think of people who actually do have the brain of a murder we suddenly forget that their behaviour is as much a product of their brain being a certain way as ours is when we relapse.

    Again, this doesn't excuse their behaviour and the victims of their crimes are certainly greater victims than they are. However, when you truly understand how addiction works, how the brain works, and how psychology works, you realize that these people are not in control of their actions.

    Just imagine what it's like to have your one shot at life, at consciousness, and you're born with the brain of a killer. Do you have empathy for them now?
     
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  15. Quezatolah

    Quezatolah Fapstronaut

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    Your whole post reads
    "We shouldn't excuse their actions...BUUUUUUT!!!!!!"

    Stop it, everyone is responsible for their actions no matter what their situation is.

    No one here believes they can't overcome porn, then there is no reason for you to think criminals can't overcome whatever makes them think being one is a good idea.
     
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  16. WildEntheology

    WildEntheology Fapstronaut

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    The point is not whether someone should be held responsible for their actions, as I already said I believe that they should be held responsible for their actions. I'm talking about understanding what led to that person being as they are when they choose to commit the crime in question, and what that means about how we should view that person as we hold them accountable for their actions.

    As for overcoming addiction or criminality, I completely agree. We can overcome our addiction and many criminals can absolutely overcome the impulses that drive them toward criminality. However, let's bring a little bit of nuance into our understanding of what leads to criminality.

    This wonderful article talks about how some research has found 50 - 80% of criminals in American prisons have brain injuries. If we look at the data between America, Europe, and Australia this number is at 46%. In Britain that number is at 65%. That means that nearly half of all criminals may be criminals because of brain injury. Can someone simply overcome a brain injury that removes their brain's ability to process emotions, empathy, or any number of other functions we all take for granted?

    What about the other 50% of criminals? Let's say you've been raised in a low socioeconomic area by a single mother who worked two jobs to support you, and as such the only role models you have around you are criminals who were likely raised in similar conditions. Is it at all surprising that you would grow up to be a criminal? Is it your fault if you do? You could say, "hey would read Meditations by Marcus Aurelius! That would certainly teach me how to overcome these influences!"

    Did you know that the average low socioeconomic child is 5 years behind a high socioeconomic child when they enter high school? What's the likelihood that this person is going to grow up to even know who Marcus Aurelius is let alone understand that they can actually learn something to improve their lives from reading a book? Did you know that you could read something from a book that could improve your life before you found NoFap? I certainly didn't. One of the main reasons I became a psychology student is because 10 years ago I searched on google why I couldn't cum with my girlfriend.

    So let's say you have a brain damaged low socioeconomic child that can't read. Is he going to grow up to be an upstanding citizen?

    And again, you'll probably say, "I already said that people with good upbringings can do horrible things. Not everyone has a sob story."

    However, again, you'd be missing my point. My point is that there biological and environmental factors that work together to lead to who we are today, and these factors are often far outside our awareness let alone inside our control. Do many of the people who commit crimes have the potential to change their own lives and overcome their criminality? Yes absolutely. The issue is access to the right education and mentors, the issue is living in a society in which people are constantly told they're victims and are incapable of doing something with their lives, the issues are absolutely insurmountable for many, many people.

    You can deny empathy to people if you want. That's your choice. Remember though that you are just putting more "lack of empathy," into society. Don't be surprised when society continues to spit out more people who lack empathy.

    Personally, I believe that if I want to have a good society then I have to start with myself. I have to be more loving, more forgiving, more empathetic, and again, that's even toward people who despite a good upbringing go on to commit violent crimes. I think they should be imprisoned. All throughout that process of imprisonment I will have empathy for what they've been through, even if it's just shitty genetics, and forgive them for what they've done. Not because they necessarily get anything out of it, but so that I will be a person with less hatred in my own heart. That will lead me to act in prosocial ways in my every day life, which will infect other people with prosociality, who will go on to infect others, making the world that little bit better than it would have been had I chosen to be unempathetic.

    Either way, I've enjoyed this conversation. I forgive you for not agreeing with me ;)
     
    Last edited: Oct 8, 2021
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  17. PMOare4SoyBoys

    PMOare4SoyBoys Fapstronaut

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    Not all criminals do what they do because of poverty, that's an over generalization and more often than not they don't have a justifiable cause to commit the crimes that they do.

    Murderers I'm talking about the worst kind, those preying on the weak and innocent, killing strangers just because they know they can get away with it.
     
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  18. Quezatolah

    Quezatolah Fapstronaut

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    Let's agree to disagree.

    I don't believe in the whole genetics story, sounds like an excuse to act like a victim, btw this same mentality you're encouraging of seeing them as victims is exactly how they see themselves which allows them to justify their horrible actions to themselves.

    For every "damaged" person who commits crime you're going to see another person in the same boat who does differently, the former had a victim mentality while the latter took full ownership of themselves.

    I'm not going to read another wall of text.

    Yes they do, most of them. A poverty mindset is behind most crimes that happen, people don't do crimes if they feel satisfaction and gratitude in their lives.
     
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  19. Great Me

    Great Me Fapstronaut

    I just want to feel that i am not missing anything good and there no need to move back bu hating porn .so that I can easily quit addiction
     
  20. Quezatolah

    Quezatolah Fapstronaut

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    Back on topic, this is my last post here.

    Hating porn will not make it easier to quit, I hated it too but that didn't stop me from using it when the urge hit a few years ago only for the shame and self loathing to become many times stronger.

    Like I told you in the other thread of getting away from emotional language, I'll tell you in this thread to get away from all emotions towards porn.

    You're still operating from emotions when you hate, the only way to win this game is to not play.

    Learn to use logic, you're a man aren't you? What's with all this emotion?

    See everything the way it is and be calm at all times.
     
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