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Have Become a total Failure...

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by Pursuit__Of__Happiness, Jul 11, 2017.

  1. Jul 11, 2017 #1
    Pursuit__Of__Happiness

    Pursuit__Of__Happiness Fapstronaut

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    I feel like a big failure in life. 25 years have passed by, and still, I am not in a place where at least I can be at peace with myself. This sinful lusty addiction and inability to get over a girl have ruined my life. I can still forgive myself for the love, but this addiction has made me shameful. I can't even look myself in a mirror, forget to face my loved ones. My inner soul hates me. There is a deep sense of despair that haunts me always.
    Today, when I look back at my life I feel I could have been someone who everybody could be proud of, especially me. I too could have been a success. But, this inability to win over this evil has turned me into a complete failure. And, I see it slowly eating my life away.
     
    Pursuit__Of__Happiness, Jul 11, 2017
    Pursuit__Of__Happiness, Jul 11, 2017
    #1
    Xience likes this.
  2. Jul 11, 2017 #2
    GinBall

    GinBall Fapstronaut

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    am 29 and starting the nofap journey ... u r 4 years b4 me .. cheers ... and no point in hating urself .. it will make things worse .... stay here with ur Fapstronaut brothers and lets get out of this hellish addiction together ... u still young man !
     
    GinBall, Jul 11, 2017
    GinBall, Jul 11, 2017
    #2
    Xience and Pursuit__Of__Happiness like this.
  3. Jul 11, 2017 #3
    ThaDodger

    ThaDodger Fapstronaut

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    Then change it. NOW. I think you need this backup from the forum and that is cool. You have our permission to be at peace and improve yourself. You writing this post is already a glim of your future self, that life in peace.
    Do you know what you have to do?
     
    ThaDodger, Jul 11, 2017
    ThaDodger, Jul 11, 2017
    #3
    Xience and Pursuit__Of__Happiness like this.
  4. Jul 11, 2017 #4
    Pursuit__Of__Happiness

    Pursuit__Of__Happiness Fapstronaut

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    Thanks man for the encouragement. This moment will be a watershed in my life. I will change for better definitely.
     
    Pursuit__Of__Happiness, Jul 11, 2017
    Pursuit__Of__Happiness, Jul 11, 2017
    #4
    GinBall likes this.
  5. Jul 11, 2017 #5
    Pursuit__Of__Happiness

    Pursuit__Of__Happiness Fapstronaut

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    Not exactly. I don't have a very clear vision for myself at this point. Gonna try the age old formula of taking one day at a time, and slowly moving towards my goals and towards becoming the person I want to be.
     
    Pursuit__Of__Happiness, Jul 11, 2017
    Pursuit__Of__Happiness, Jul 11, 2017
    #5
    Xience likes this.
  6. Jul 11, 2017 #6
    Xience

    Xience Guest

    You're not alone. You're acknowledging that you are facing the issue. Some people won't even get there.
     
    Xience, Jul 11, 2017
    Xience, Jul 11, 2017
    #6
    Pursuit__Of__Happiness and GinBall like this.
  7. Jul 11, 2017 #7
    I Free I

    I Free I Guest

    It's never over until you say it's over . Anything Is Possible ! Hard times is what builds you ... Embrace The Pain & Grow
     
    I Free I, Jul 11, 2017
    I Free I, Jul 11, 2017
    #7
    Pursuit__Of__Happiness and ThaDodger like this.
  8. Jul 11, 2017 #8
    ThaDodger

    ThaDodger Fapstronaut

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    This is the most important task right now. Set the clear intention to find a vision.
     
    ThaDodger, Jul 11, 2017
    ThaDodger, Jul 11, 2017
    #8
  9. Jul 12, 2017 #9
    Pursuit__Of__Happiness

    Pursuit__Of__Happiness Fapstronaut

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    Ya, I agree completely. Without a clear intention or goal, I am more vulnerable to falling back in the old cycles. I will certainly take some action on that front.
     
    Pursuit__Of__Happiness, Jul 12, 2017
    Pursuit__Of__Happiness, Jul 12, 2017
    #9
    ThaDodger likes this.
  10. Jul 12, 2017 #10
    Mr.No

    Mr.No Fapstronaut

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    I am 22 almost 23 i have almost the exact feelings.
    Many people have such feelings. I guess if you are not in peace with youself, then you get feelings like that.

    Just focus on nofap. I am in a flatline so maybe it will get better.
     
    Mr.No, Jul 12, 2017
    Mr.No, Jul 12, 2017
    #10
    Pursuit__Of__Happiness likes this.
  11. Jul 13, 2017 #11
    Deleted Account

    Deleted Account Guest

    Okay, now what?

    I'm not a fan of the whole "No, you're not a failure, love yourself" approach, because it misses a vital piece of the puzzle. If you have low self esteem and see yourself as a failure, then you need to be given a reason to change that and to love yourself. It's hard to convince a person who thinks they're a failure that they're not a failure, so I don't try.

    Instead I ask a simple question: Okay, now what? So, you've decided you're a total failure. What are you going to do about it? What are you going to do to stop being a failure and be the kind of person you'd like to be?

    Great, now go do that, and you'll find the self-esteem you're looking for, and will stop feeling like a failure.

    It worked for me ;)

    If you don't like the person you see in the mirror today, then make sure you're a better person tomorrow.
     
    Deleted Account, Jul 13, 2017
    Deleted Account, Jul 13, 2017
    #11
    Pursuit__Of__Happiness, ThaDodger and AM141 like this.
  12. Jul 13, 2017 #12
    Pursuit__Of__Happiness

    Pursuit__Of__Happiness Fapstronaut

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    Thanks... I will definitely keep your advice in my mind. And, not just keep it, but will do something to get real tangible results that give me a sense of momentum...and hence more progress and focus.
     
    Pursuit__Of__Happiness, Jul 13, 2017
    Pursuit__Of__Happiness, Jul 13, 2017
    #12

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