Have I been Relapsing the Whole Time?

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by biglarry, Jan 24, 2021.

  1. biglarry

    biglarry Fapstronaut

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    So I’m on day 40 and I downloaded tinder. I had urges to talk to girls instead of going on porn and jerking off to them. But I was on tinder and I saw that girls were matching with me and liking my photos and when I saw what the girls looked like I got a huge ass dopamine rush. Did I relapse? If so do I bust and completely reset
     
  2. Hakaishin

    Hakaishin Fapstronaut

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    Of Course Not...It's a natural thing to feel attracted to women. It might even be an improvement as you didn't watch PORN yet you had a genuine attraction for a real live person. Don't reset...A real relationship is a million times better than what you have with PMO.
     
  3. Lao Tzu

    Lao Tzu Fapstronaut

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    No you shouldn’t. That’s a classic case of an addicted brain trying to trick you back into PMO.
    I’d advice you to stay away from those triggers though. You’ll thank yourself later.
     
  4. Anonymous86

    Anonymous86 Fapstronaut

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    If one gets precum as a result of texting women though, can that be reconsidered a relapse? If you don't think so, why not?
     
  5. Lao Tzu

    Lao Tzu Fapstronaut

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    I don’t think so because that’s natural.
    A relapse is when you go back to PMO. Texting and other interactions with real women could be triggers, and one should be very mindful with those as they reboot, but I don’t consider them relapses.
     
  6. Anonymous86

    Anonymous86 Fapstronaut

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    I see. Have you texted anyone during a streak, got precum, and still was able to notice benefits? Not that I encourage anyone to do that, i'm just legit curious. That's all.
     
  7. Lao Tzu

    Lao Tzu Fapstronaut

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    Personally, especially early on in my recovery, it would likely trigger the chaser effect in me.
    I'd struggle to think straight as brain fog would increase. My lower brain would keep trying to provide me with excuses to bust a nut or get some kind of stimulation (junk food cravings and whatnot).
    At this point, you have a choice:
    A - Give in and set yourself back in your overall recovery. The easy route.
    B - Understand what is going on and try to recenter yourself. Sometimes this can be impossibly hard.

    Fast forward a couple of days...
    The person that went with A is either on a binge or has started a new recovery streak. Either way, they feel like shit.
    For the person that went with B, that phase is over and they're glad, happier, and less likely to give in when another similar challenge presents itself because they're stronger.

    In those moments you might feel like nothing else makes sense, but remember it's all mind tricks and you'll be okay soon.
     

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