Have you caved to M without P during recovery?

S

Sad_wife

Fapstronaut
At what point or have you ever caved to just M without P during your recovery? Did you tell your SO? Did you feel like it was a setback? Have you lied about it?

I know is very common to relapse. I know some don’t see M as a relapse. I do though. After all the research it is not something We want in our relationship. But I’m curious to thoughts and perspectives on this.

My husband knows I have a black light. So I would think he would do everything he could to avoid getting caught now. But let me tell you, it’s hard to really tell if you cleaned up properly or get rid of all evidence. I found evidence of cum in the bathroom. He’s said he hasn’t been doing anything. I don’t trust this is true. I think his curiosity got to him if he even could do it without P. Because for him he’s been using P for PMO since 14 or 15. He has just done m but it was a long time ago. When confronted will he tell the truth? I’m nervous. I won’t get mad. I know it’s hard to stop. Hey I’m right there with him. But I’m determined to never do it again with urges. Is he?
 
Sad_wife said:
At what point or have you ever caved to just M without P during your recovery? Did you tell your SO? Did you feel like it was a setback? Have you lied about it?

I know is very common to relapse. I know some don’t see M as a relapse. I do though. After all the research it is not something We want in our relationship. But I’m curious to thoughts and perspectives on this.

My husband knows I have a black light. So I would think he would do everything he could to avoid getting caught now. But let me tell you, it’s hard to really tell if you cleaned up properly or get rid of all evidence. I found evidence of cum in the bathroom. He’s said he hasn’t been doing anything. I don’t trust this is true. I think his curiosity got to him if he even could do it without P. Because for him he’s been using P for PMO since 14 or 15. He has just done m but it was a long time ago. When confronted will he tell the truth? I’m nervous. I won’t get mad. I know it’s hard to stop. Hey I’m right there with him. But I’m determined to never do it again with urges. Is he?
Click to expand...
My husbands “ slips/relapses” have all been m for the last 4 years. He’s made it impossible for himself to get to porn. I can tell when he does it just based on his behavior. He rarely tells me, I usually tell him I know and we talk about it.
 
Psalm27:1my light said:
My husbands “ slips/relapses” have all been m for the last 4 years. He’s made it impossible for himself to get to porn. I can tell when he does it just based on his behavior. He rarely tells me, I usually tell him I know and we talk about it.
Click to expand...

he admits? Or does he lie at first?
 
Psalm27:1my light said:
Oh, he admits. He knows I know. Three years ago he would lie. The lying is the hardest part for him to get past. He has lied since childhood. It’s deeply ingrained and almost second nature.
Click to expand...

So this is a part of things we need to work through. I’m dedicated in helping him.

I’ve been working on exactly how I’m going to open the conversation tonight. Things have been pretty good. I’m definitely going to tell him that I’m not going to get mad. I know this is all part of recovery and addiction. That is natural for the addiction to morph and for slips to be just M. I think he hasn’t been honest with his thoughts about it maybe. And there’s a part of him that thinks occupational M is okay. So I’m going to ask him about that. Not sure how that’s going to go. He’s probably conflicted about it. We were all taught it’s okay. It’s hard to uproot that idea. I’ve even seen people here defend M as okay. I get it. It feels good. Have some “me” time. I have conflicted feelings. You should be able to do whatever you want with your body. But unhealthy habits effect you partner, alcohol, drugs, anxiety depression. We may or may not be able to help. We can be supportive. But negative habits definitely affect the SO. So they should have a say. And feeling hurt at continued habits or lies is natural.
 
So it turn out he hasn’t m at all. I believe him. What I found was so tiny an amount it could have been from several different things. We have had sex a lot.
 
Sad_wife said:
So it turn out he hasn’t m at all. I believe him. What I found was so tiny an amount it could have been from several different things. We have had sex a lot.
Click to expand...
Good!!! M is not okey in a relationship, in my opinion. You are releasing sexual energy which could be used for your partner. So I completely agree with you.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top