Have you ever come across a way to hate porn?

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by Dead Lobster, Sep 21, 2021.

  1. Dead Lobster

    Dead Lobster New Fapstronaut

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    Hi. I'm Sam and I've spent the last 6 hours looking at porn! Why? Because I somehow enjoy it. Do I enjoy it in itself? Probably, not so sure. Do I enjoy it because it kills time? Also probably. Regardless of the reason I have been completely addicted to it for the last 8 years or so of my life but still can't remember a time where I would have loved it if I wasn't so addicted.
    It is really weird honestly. I am addicted to it and can't go a couple days without it although I hate that I am addicted to it, and hate myself when looking at it, and hate myself while doing the deed and looking at it, and absolutely hate myself after finishing. But, I still find joy in it and can't go without it! I am sure many of you can relate to this.
    I have tried setting up blockers and have been doing that for at least two years now but I always find myself finding a loop hole in the system that leads me back to my dirty addiction. It is like you're hiding a cookie jar from a toddler. The toddler will always find it and start eating! Why? Because toddlers love cookies. On the other hand, if you put some vegetables in plain view in front of the same toddler he'd never go near because I bet you that he hates vegetables. Point is, how can some one start seeing porn like a toddler seeing vegetables rather than a toddler seeing cookies? That way, we'll never have to worry about any "streaks" even! Who'd go a streak of not eating cookies if he hated cookies, right?
    I know, I'm all over the place with this brain fog writing. But the question that I have is that have any of you found a way to dislike porn or actually hate it so that you'd never go back to it? I'd love hearing what you all have to say
     
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  2. sreejitbhai riku_10

    sreejitbhai riku_10 Fapstronaut

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    porn is made to destroy your best version.without porn,you can do all those things that was impossible for you earlier
     
  3. OhWhenThe

    OhWhenThe Fapstronaut

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    I don't think I'll ever hate it, despite it having horrible effects on my health. I think you've just got to starve the addiction to the point where you become apathetic to the idea of it, I don't think it's necessary to outright hate it. As for blockers, if you're being honest with yourself maybe you've intentionally left the door open just enough knowing that you can get through it again if you really want to. I've just started using the Cold Turkey blocker and you can set it to block the entire internet whilst leaving a few safe sites, once you lock the block there's no way around it until whatever timer you've set it to runs out, otherwise the only option is wiping your pc and reinstalling windows - something I know I wouldn't go to the hassle of doing. Not sure about phones but there's probably a similar app.
     
  4. Java123

    Java123 Fapstronaut

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    Recovery is rediculas easy bro....
    Fear is problem
     
  5. The reason is easy to understand…

    You know how someone addicted heroin gradually needs more and more to achieve the same effect? It's because the brain becomes habituated to it, which means that it physically creates extra receptors to deal with it. So, more heroin is needed, and more, and more, until you actually need the heroin to feel remotely "normal".

    Going without the heroin leads to feeling awful, because your brain has adapted to needing to fill tons of receptors, and nothing is coming in!

    The same goes for any recreational drug: alcohol, cannabis, cocaine, … (The only reason why people don't take more and more nicotine is that they can smoke only so much in a day!) (This effect is also a cause of overeating, although that's more complex partly because you can't go cold turkey with food!)

    Interestingly, the same goes for addictive behaviours: gambling, kleptomania, … and porn.

    So, it's not really that you enjoy it. It's more that your brain now needs it to fill the receptors with dopamine.

    When you stop watching porn, you feel kind of empty, right? Like something is seriously lacking?

    That's your brain going, "Where is my dopamine?! Give it to me now!"

    The good news is that when you go cold turkey, after the initial shock, your brain starts to repair itself. It takes time, but it does.

    So…

    Next time you believe that you enjoy porn and that you need it, remember what I've just described. You don't "enjoy" it. Rather, it's an artificial need. Ask yourself, "Do I want to be dependent on this for the rest of my life, always needing more and more, getting worse, needing harder porn until I end up in a total fetish, a slave to porn and fetishes with nothing left in my life?"

    The answer, obviously, will be a resounding NO!

    Then ask, "Am I prepared to do whatever it takes for the next few months to fix this? To repair my entire life for the sake of a few months?"

    Only you can answer that…

    Good luck!
     
    Dead Lobster likes this.
  6. I forgot to answer your question:
    Yes. Well, not hate; hate is too strong an emotion and will backfire.

    It's more like how I feel about smoking or heroin. Yeuch! If someone were to offer me a cigarette or heroin, I'd think, no, why would you even think that I'd want that?

    That's how to look at it.

    (BTW, I loved vegetables as a kid. I think that it depends on how you're raised.)

    So, here's how I look at porn.
    1. It messed me up. How could I like something that messed me up?
    2. All of porn messes up my fellow humans. It messes up actors (read their stories) and it messes up consumers (look at yourself — six hours! BTW, I'm not judging; been there, done that!). How could I like being associated with that?
    3. Much of porn is involved with coercion, sometimes downright kidnapping, sexual abuse, paedophilia, and more. (From what I've read, the majority of porn that you watch doesn't involve keen and willing actors, but often actors who are trapped in an abusive contract, maybe debt slaves. A common one is to keep actors in line by keeping them addicted to recreational drugs.) Why would I like that?
    When I discovered point 3, that was it. In a matter of minutes, I went from being obsessed with porn to utterly rejecting it. I just won't have anything to do with such an unethical and oft-illegal business. No matter how much my brain screamed for porn, fought, argued, cajoled, or pleaded, nope, I wasn't having any of that.

    The next thing, I had completed a three-month reboot, and I've held firm. Does that mean I've never been weak? No, it doesn't — I am merely human, after all. But being weak isn't the same as giving up. Being weak lets me learn more about myself, discover new coping mechanisms, realise what really makes me love life, and find ways to be proud of myself when I'm weak but still say NO.

    These days, the idea of watching porn makes me feel a bit confused, as if someone were offering me a joint. I have a friend who more than once told me that she sometimes watches porn, and even suggested that I do too, "just a little". My response? "You're funny. No, I'm not having anything to do with that." She doesn't talk about it any more, ha ha!

    I hope that this helps. It sounds a little like a rant, and maybe a bit of anger will help you? Anger misplaced, or extreme anger, is always unhelpful. But a little deliberate targeted anger might be the push that you want. Maybe not. I don't know, because it's for you to find out for yourself.
     
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  7. jn812

    jn812 Fapstronaut

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    In addition to the suggestions above, I would add:

    If you ever find yourself viewing pornography again, try to see it for what it really is, in the moment. Take your hands off your body, pause on one image or one video and sit with it for a few minutes. After your mind is calm, consider that this person is someone's daughter or son; that at one time, this person was a child who had dreams to grow up and be an astronaut, a doctor, a teacher, a mother or a father. That this person suffers through their own addictions; that they might be on your screen because they're forced to be, or because they're addicted to the thrill of it, but that most likely they will come back and feel sick that they ever did this. That this person above all wants peace, joy, love, and true connection with other people. But they've been trapped and tricked by a twisted industry. The suicide rate for people in pornography is incredibly high. Imagine the real pain that the actors might be in, emotional, physical, and spiritual.

    I try to sit with these thoughts for as long as I can every time I view porn. And I start to realize that the real pleasure of the act is not even in pornography, it's in the physical pleasure of masturbation (but that's not what addicts me).

    Second, I try to focus on the difference between pleasure and joy. When I'm having a really joyful experience, connecting with other people, sharing in a moment of love, I try to focus on that and notice how I feel. And tell myself: "how different does this feel from pornography," which supposedly brings me pleasure, but actually is just a cheap thrill. Real joy towers above it.

    Third, when I can (this is admittedly harder because the association is so strong at this point), I try to stop viewing the human body as so sexual, in all situations possible. This video helped give me the idea.
     
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  8. ProminentPosterior

    ProminentPosterior Fapstronaut

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    Shames and guilt served as a combination to make me feel like I couldn’t partake in certain activities or listen to music that I enjoyed/resonated with who I am at my core. The shame associated with crusty sock mountain

    Having relationships be ruined, hours wasted, etc.
     
  9. A Naija boy

    A Naija boy Fapstronaut

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    Totally!
    Since i abstained from any form of P, i got my self confidence back, i can think much clearly, i can approach a girl and get erect just holding her hand. All these I couldn’t do when i was fapping my real self away.
    P aint worth it man
     
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  10. I've never got involved with camsites, thank heavens. But I read that the girls there often have abusive pimps watching them to ensure that the girls "behave" themselves and don't run away. The girls might be locked in; they might be threatened with physical punishment if they are disobedient; they might be coerced into drug addiction, and the drugs are given as a "reward" for doing what they are told. It's jaw-droppingly awful.
     
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  11. skaterdrew

    skaterdrew Fapstronaut

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    It's a love hate thing really isn't it? Like drug addicts love taking their drugs, but they also hate their drugs destroying their lives. They hate the fact they can't stop taking their drugs even though the drugs are destroying their lives.

    It's the exact same for PMO addicts. They love PMOing, but they hate the fact PMO is destroying their lives. They hate the fact they can't stop PMOing even though it is destroying their lives.
     
  12. E31

    E31 Fapstronaut

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    Why would you want to hate it? Hate is a strong emotion that requires a lot of energy and would suggest that you're still caught in it's power over you.
    I suggest to view it as neutral as possible. Some people without clothes put their genitals all over each other without any sort of emotion to make money through people that watch them doing it through a screen while they're alone and monotonously rubbing their dick(or vagina or whatever gets you going).
    Sounds pretty absurd and like a waste of time, lets just get it over with!
     
  13. Godrye

    Godrye New Fapstronaut

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    I don't know if hate is the right thing to do when quitting porn.
     
  14. elliottsmith91

    elliottsmith91 Fapstronaut

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    It's a super stimulus. Even if you hate it you'll still want it kind of like drugs. That dopamine rush is what we keep coming back for not the porn itself. Your brain just can't make the distinction.
     
  15. Beekind

    Beekind Fapstronaut

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    Remove the need for porn and porn will vanish effortlessly.
    Addictions fill the gap where love and peace should occupy.
    Understand this and you will never ever struggle with any addiction.
     
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  16. Chokejoke35

    Chokejoke35 Fapstronaut

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    I have PIED.
    Try to have Sex with a Girl and it will not work, then realize than Porn made you impotent. Feel like a little Boy without a Dick in your pants to use.
    Cry in front of your Girlfriend and feel absolutely useless as a Man.
    Then you will beginn to hate Porn and what you did to your self.
     
    Mordobarn likes this.

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