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Have you ever have girls approaching you?

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by embodiment of luck, Mar 16, 2022.

  1. embodiment of luck

    embodiment of luck Fapstronaut

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    I see a lot of men desperately approaching women on the street or at the bar, but that usually ends in rejection. My question is how many times in your life has a woman approached you, and how did it happened?
     
  2. I_Am_Strong_54

    I_Am_Strong_54 Fapstronaut

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    I've had it happen a couple of times to me.

    The first time I was at a bar/nightclub with some friends and this girl grabs me by the collar of my shirt and says "My friend thinks you're cute, talk to her." So I talked with her for a little while, the next day was the Super Bowl so we made plans to watch it somewhere, she said to call her before just to confirm, so I did and never heard back from her.

    The second time I was in a bar and it was a large group of us from work there for happy hour. A friend of someone we worked with showed up, and somehow me and her ended up at the bar together and talked and I got her number and we went out a few times but nothing substantial came from it.
     
  3. embodiment of luck

    embodiment of luck Fapstronaut

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    There is one table tennis in the bar and what sometimes happens to me and my friends that the women came to us on their own. I think that another way to attract women is to play instrument at the beach (but I have never tasted this). I also have one girl approach me when I was taking to her friends, she was American and i am from Europe so I was Interesting to her. I think there is a method to make woman approach you, so I want to know other ways of achieving that.
     
  4. VVULFGVNG

    VVULFGVNG Fapstronaut

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    I'm sure it happens quite often, but the normal sexual dynamic is that you as a man are the one who approaches. Its weird in today's world because it's becoming normal to do cold approaches rather than building a relationship based around a similar thing like work, a hobby, club, school etc. With things going more and more to at home working with applications like zoom it's going to be interesting to see how the sexual and relationship dynamic in the work places and in school settings develops and changes. Trust me, I've done plenty of cold approaches and to this day its still nerve racking. Some times it's an easy cake walk, I guess it depends on the day.

    The best advice I can give is to get yourself in order. Look good, smell good, feel good, dress good. Excercise, continue to practice abstinence, focus on what you can control so when the time comes for you to approach a lady or whomever you find attractive it might be just a bit easier, but that smidgen of more confidence in all of those previously mentioned aspects but be the thing that carries you all the way through to a date and onward. Women will approach as I mentioned, but don't count on it. Practice by just talking to women in a work place like a bar or a store, you're not asking them out or flirting, but just maintain eye contact and ask a question or make an order for a drink. Small talk as much as you can maybe. This continuous practice of approaching and maintaining communication will help when your out in the "wild" as I like to call it.

    You gotta be about it! Its within all of us, our ancestors did just fine so can we.
     
  5. BearfootJack

    BearfootJack Fapstronaut

    More often than you'd think, which I don't understand given the widespread belief that short men are unattractive. I'm short and bald (bald, not balding, key difference lol). Though not as often as tall attractive men, admittedly.

    I've had it happen in bars, in yoga class, meditation classes, parties, etc. Some of them I found attractive, some of them I didn't. I think VVULFGVNG gave some good pointers. I'd add that self-respect+humility+kindness are a hell of a drug when it comes to the kind of energy you give off.
     
  6. VVULFGVNG

    VVULFGVNG Fapstronaut

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    I'm 5'6" 5'7" not quite sure because I've definitely have improved my posture. But the curse of the short man! I've had girlfriends, a fiance, and plenty of sexual experiences. But the one thing that fucks me up the most is my height. I have an awesome personal resume, I'm working on my emotional self during this PMO detox period and I have some high peaks when it comes to my hairline but I think I look good. What's the secret then?!
     
    Asgardian36 likes this.
  7. embodiment of luck

    embodiment of luck Fapstronaut

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    Cold approaches might work at the night clubs but when I see my friends approaching girls on the street I just put my hand on the face, and feel sorry for them. Sometimes it works but in the middle of the street it just come across as lame. I am not big fan of cold approaches, I think that man needs to go to social clubs in his area and interact with man and women, and if she shows some interest in you that is bingo.
     
    Asgardian36 and VVULFGVNG like this.
  8. VVULFGVNG

    VVULFGVNG Fapstronaut

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    I agree actually, every date I've gotten was either due to social event or school/work.
     

  9. I can’t recall it ever happening except for Online and once after High School. Had a few Friends and we were hanging out with a girl that came along with us. Apparently she felt my energy and began to like me. But I can say I did a full reboot near the end of High School. I had a few middle school and High School hook ups but never anything that involved getting approached at bars, etc… Even at parties I never got approaches and I exercised my abs like crazy.
     
  10. IrishMan77

    IrishMan77 Fapstronaut

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    Here is the truth: girls are afraid of rejection.

    Instead, they give you approach invitations. In a bar, they maybe looking at you, staying beside you, touch you (by accident), …

    All this mess is easily avoidable using dating sites like Tinder. In my opinion, it’s much more effective as you can pre-qualify girls before meeting them.
     
    Asgardian36 and Re-Life2010 like this.

  11. I was talking to a co worker the other day about girls in bars actually. He said you only need three main ingredients to attract a gal. Nice car, Apartment, good job as well and you can make it. Along with a sense of humor as well..
     
    Asgardian36 likes this.
  12. IrishMan77

    IrishMan77 Fapstronaut

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    Well, how would they know you have all these things just by looking at you? If you tell her, she may consider you as a potential boyfriend as you seem to have a stable life. However, I am convinced this wouldn’t improve your chances to get la*d.

    I agree with your colleague on humor. In France we say: « a woman who laughs is half in your bed » To develop your sense of humor, I recommend How to Write Funny from Scott Dikkers on Audible. It is life changing.
     
    Re-Life2010 likes this.

  13. I believe a sense of humor is all you need. Not anything fancy or anything to get l***. It really does go a long way and I’ve seen it happen.
     
  14. TryingToFindMyself

    TryingToFindMyself Fapstronaut

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    Definitely. It's a new world out there and girls are approaching guys more than ever. That being said, they almost always prefer the other way around. There are good tips above, I really like the self respect+humility+kindness one. With covid and masks, I've been paying more attention to eye contact, and it has definitely gotten more girls to approach me, or more often, send signals they want to be approached. Smiling with your eyes is definitely a thing, and people really respond to it. This might be a bit shallow, but it's super effective when you're not in a good mood, and you still smile at someone. Like you're on your grind, walking with purpose, eyes forward, shoulders back, you got shit to do, but you stop to crinkle your eyes slightly at whoever you hold the door for. Being cheerful definitely draws in strangers but so does being mysterious and having 'depth'. If you can pull off both I think girls will want to approach you.

    Self respect = confidence. Groom yourself everyday. This is so important. You should feel good about your appearance. Take care of your body to take care of your mind. Humility = being willing to laugh at yourself and never feel 'owed'. Women don't owe you jack shit. Smiling at someone doesn't mean they automatically want to talk to you. Her being objectively less attractive than you doesn't mean you are a catch to her and she should bend over backwards to chase you. It is always someone's right to ignore you or blow you off. Don't take it personally. Men are dangerous to women, it's just a fact so respect that. If you slip up (literally or socially) laugh at yourself. People love humble folks. But don't overdo it. Self deprecating jokes are great but shouldn't be overdone or you will lower your worth to both yourself and others. Someone who is constantly self deprecating is showing off their insecurities to the world. Be gentle to them and if you laugh, make sure to compliment them so they know you don't believe it. If they keep doing it, admonish them not to fish for compliments, and with the same breath compliment them. Flip the script on self deprecating jokes when you do it, and pepper them with statements where you are sarcastically arrogant. It's unfortunately true that many people can mistake arrogance for confidence and find it sexy, so be arrogant while showing you're actually humble. This must be done carefully and with practice so you don't come off toxic or sleazy.

    Giving compliments along with eye contact are so key. It should be something real that you notice: their outfit, their new hair, their accessories, their nail color, the sound of their laugh, etc. All superficial, yes, but by commenting on the superficial you are directly signaling that there could be sexual chemistry here. Being kind = acting similarly around folks you don't want to sleep with. Guys who are only nice to women they want to bang suck. Don't be that guy. Do these things in all social settings and people will start to respond to your positive vibes. Women will notice how people gravitate around you, and be intrigued. That's my advice, anyway. Just get out there as often as you can and you will naturally get better at it.
     
    hsb0617, Asgardian36 and VVULFGVNG like this.
  15. VVULFGVNG

    VVULFGVNG Fapstronaut

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    Solid advice, very well articulated.

    I've been doing the eye looking as of late, especially as my confidence and nofap go hand in hand (plus eating healthy, excercising and getting out even if it's just to the park). I'll occasionally get a smile back or a look. I think as time goes on and I continue to work on myself it will just come more naturally. I put on some more muscle, dress a bit nicer, keep myself groomed, oh boy it's starting to become magnet city here!

    I got the height issue though, I'm short 5'6" 5'7", so that's a big oof, but I deal with it. Its not so bad I've had plenty of girlfriends and hook ups so it's not a total confidence destroyer.

    That's my next step is to work through my height insecurity. I should have no reason to be insecure.
     
  16. TryingToFindMyself

    TryingToFindMyself Fapstronaut

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    You absolutely have no reason to be insecure. One of the most sexually successful guys I know was only 5'1. I think in part because he originally felt self conscious, he spent allot of time and energy working on his social skills and his appearance. There will always be some shallow people who care more about height than others, and it's true that women generally will say they prefer very tall men. But those same women will make 'exceptions' for the right guy. I find in reality that guys have more hangups about it than girls. Ie; lots of guys feel uncomfortable dating a taller woman compared to many girls who end up dating a shorter man say they have no problem with it. And you're actually not particularly short.

    Height can't be changed so no use worrying about it. Women who care about height actually care more about being with a partner they subconsciously feel can protect them physically. So good posture, a relaxed demeanor, eating allot of protein and going to the gym every other day can absolutely make up any difference. Once you can physically lift up a sex or dance partner, height becomes moot. Start saying a mantra about how strong and powerful you are, embrace your height, and don't be afraid to talk to taller women. (Plus most women are going to be shorter than you anyway.)

    EDIT: I realize I've been posting without really answering OPs question. Times I've been approached by women/how it happened. Idk about times but the vast majority has been at a concert/show/club where I came with a couple friends, split up for a bit and danced by myself before reconnecting with them. I'm not a particularly good dancer, but when I cleared some space around me and did my thing with confidence without focusing on any partner, but also without avoiding eye contact, I'd occasionally get a girl come find me as things wound down to chat or get my number. Any other times has always been at the bar or house party. Most memorable and proudest (lol) was a long while ago at a house party where I noticed her sitting on the couch and purposefully joined the conversation of ppl standing in front of it. It was a political convo and I said something goofy about how white ppl suck as always that got some laughs while I raised my eyebrows at her. I backed out of that group soon after but flashed eyes at her again. She later found me on the porch. Not sure if that counts but I felt like Superman for a while after.
     
    Last edited: Mar 19, 2022
    Asgardian36 and VVULFGVNG like this.
  17. VVULFGVNG

    VVULFGVNG Fapstronaut

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    I'm still early in my recovery process so my confidence levels and dopamine levels are slowly coming back to baseline and continually rising. I do workout, I workout everyday and I'm finally getting my eating fixed. Protein shake once or twice a day with creatine, and egg fried rice with ground beef because it's super easy to make and I don't mind eating it all of the time. I also enjoy a nice greek yogurt ️️..

    Getting in shape is the big next part of my journey. I'm waiting to hear back from Medieval Times aswell, I applied for a squire position which is a knights assistant. I hope to get this job and train for 500 hours in horse riding and stage Combat so I can become a knight in the show! My resume is pretty kick ass because of my military experience and volunteer time. So fingers crossed!
     
    TryingToFindMyself likes this.
  18. Nikounik

    Nikounik Fapstronaut

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    Because they don't look for signs, you must have some signs, if she is looking at you or something, (smile)...
    A lot if only i'm on nofap 21+days.
    How it happen well for example when i used to work as security Girls were staring at me strangly... Now when i remember it was bizare,without blinking. Couple Girls just heavy smiling at me and approch me and flirting. When i relapse i'm invisible.
     
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  19. Nope. Never happened. Sorry.
     
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  20. MF NFPer 92

    MF NFPer 92 Fapstronaut

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    Women will very rarely approach men, because of their insecure nature. They cannot cope with rejection as men can, but they will give you choosing signals. It's still your job to approach. Also women are hypergamous so the ones who do approach they must find you very attractive physically, while they could be barely attractive (4-5). In short, you must do the approach and have higher chances of success after she'd already sent you a choosing signal (e.g. eye contact, smile). Wait too long and you'll likely get rejection. Understanding female nature and Game is crucial. Don't let anyone fool you who says it isn't.
     

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