Haven't had an orgasm in 4 years. Very lonely.

Hey bricom, I'm actually in a similar position in life so I understand what you are going through. Im 23 myself and havent had sex or a girlfrind in like 3 years aswell. I'm not sure if this will apply to you exactly but what helped me a bit was when I realised im a bit of an Introvert.

I thought I was really wierd and asocial but now I understand how different we all are. I realised that I dont NEED a girlfriend or sex in my life however society has made us believe it's a key to happiness.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, think about what you really makes your days good and just do that. This is my first post so hopefully it's ok.

I really do like your painting! It's really stunning actually. Keep at it!

 

I'm 27, never had a gf, depressed, jobless.

its okay to not have friends. one friend is all you need and you'll get that person. in friendship choose character over number of friends or popularity.

everyone is different. some are athletic, some like indoor games, some like to study while some like to play with computers. some are good at making friends and some are not. its all right.

and friendship doesnt mean you have to talk day in and day out, its more like being there for the person and vice versa.

i used to earlier feel guilty and ashamed at not having friends and i often changed myself (like used foul language) to make friends and be like them. but that didnt really work out.

its okay to walk alone. its better than being with pretend friends or people with whom you dont get along.

i have some friends and i've told them i'm not good at socializing or being together as a group. they're okay with it. we meed once in a while but i dont go to movies with them. they know i dont like that and they're okay with it.

 

Four years without MO? You're a legend. Hopefully you're not "edging" or peeking at P.

I'm 32 by the way. You haven't really got friends? I wasted years of my life with crappy friends. You've got a blank slate to make some proper ones. I'm slowly making proper friends now. It's good that you get on with your parents too. Screw what your siblings say. People who judge others - they're the real idiots.

 

Read "Intimate Connections" by David Burns and start working on your self-esteem, workout 3-5x, join a cardio course or a martial arts club, volunteer, learn a new language or two and find language partners online who live in your city, use tinder to make friends. Get the Books "Complaint Free world" by Will Bowen, "Friendship Factor" and read articles on succeedsocially.com and realize that being single/virgin whatever is no reason to be sad. The world doesn't owe you love. It sounds harsh, but once you accept this reality, life becomes so much easier. Figure out what you want to do with you life if you haven't already, rather than who you are going to spend it with. Make peace with loneliness, make it your ally. Good luck.

 

Once, a youth went to see a wise man, and said to him:

’I have come seeking advice, for I am tormented by feelings of worthlessness and no longer wish to live. Everyone tells me that I am a failure and a fool. I beg you, Master, help me!’

The wise man glanced at the youth, and answered hurriedly: ’Forgive me, but I am very busy right now and cannot help you. There is one urgent matter in particular which I need to attend to...’ — and here he stopped, for a moment, thinking, then added: ’But if you agree to help me, I will happily return the favour.’

’Of...of course, Master!’ muttered the youth, noting bitterly that yet again his concerns had been dismissed as unimportant. ’Good’, said the wise man, and took off a small ring with a beautiful gem from his finger.

’Take my horse and go to the market square! I urgently need to sell this ring in order to pay off a debt. Try to get a decent price for it, and do not settle for anything less than one gold coin! Go right now, and come back as quick as you can!’

The youth took the ring and galloped off. When he arrived at the market square, he showed it to the various traders, who at first examined it with close interest. But no sooner had they heard that it would sell only in exchange for gold than they completely lost interest. Some of the traders laughed openly at the boy, others simply turned away. Only one aged merchant was decent enough to explain to him that a gold coin was too high a price to pay for such a ring, and that he was more likely to be offered only copper, or at best, possibly silver.

When he heard these words, the youth became very upset, for he remembered the old man’s instruction not to accept anything less than gold. Having already gone through the whole market looking for a buyer among hundreds of people, he saddled the horse and set off. Feeling thoroughly depressed by his failure, he returned to see the wise man.

’Master, I was unable to carry out your request’, he said. ’At best I would have been able to get a couple of silver coins, but you told me not to agree to anything less than gold! But they told me that this ring isn’t worth that much.’

’That’s a very important point, my boy!’ the wise man responded. Before trying to sell a ring, it wouldn’t be a bad idea to establish how valuable it really is! And who can do that better than a jeweller? Ride over to him and find out what his price is. Only don’t sell it to him, regardless of what he offers you! Instead, come back to me straightaway.’

The young man once more leapt up on to the horse and set off to see the jeweller. The latter examined the ring through a magnifying glass for a long time, then weighed it on a set of tiny scales. Finally, he turned to the youth and said:

’Tell your master that right now I can’t give him more than 58 gold coins for it. But if he gives me some time, I will buy the ring for 70.’

’70 gold coins?!’ exclaimed the youth. He laughed, thanked the jeweller and rushed back at full speed to the wise man. When the latter heard the story from the now animated youth, he told him: ’Remember, my boy, that you are like this ring. Precious, and unique! And only a real expert can appreciate your true value. So why are you wasting your time wandering through the market and heeding the opinion of any old fool?’

 

I am confused. What is that meant to represent - loneliness?

 

lemme say something, i dont like your painting but i am complete crap with art and this is beyond my capabilities so keep it up, also ignore your siblings and go to bars or parties, your still young only 24 just be more available, also when you are speaking to women, try and give them subtle hints or signs so they know you wanna mess around

 

@bricom40, you have a wonderful feel for color! It's beautifully proportioned and has lovely rhythm. I'd like to see more of your work.

What does your painting evoke for you? For me, although you share a story of loneliness, I think it conveys a lot of hope.

If you decide to rejoin the board, look me up. I am not a painter, but I would to talk with you about it.

 

Hey dude,

So ur story is very similar to mine. I also love to paint. Art is literally the only thing I've been really good and confident at, it comes naturally... I have also been the black sheep in my family forever. I still feel like there's nothing I can do that'll match up to them or my perception of what they think I should be. And that sent me into a cycle of being depressed, dropping out of school and still depending on them as old as I am. I just wanna tell u there's always light at the end of the tunnel as dark as things may seem. I am back in college now and working towards my dreams, I'm not gonna lie to you it's not going amazing, I've had to redo a whole year cause I'd be depressed and just be in my room for literally days and months. But I'm still here!

I've never been great with making friends either, we'll after my dad died I didn't think it was important and so I detached myself and I'm still learning right now how to make friends from scratch and approach girls. It's never easy, but uve gotta start somewhere. I know it's hard to find the faith that it'll work out but I promise if you start self loving and doing things little by little, ull be a able to look back in a few months and smile at how far uve come. If you fell like you need answers to how you feel Google it, read articles, join forums etc ... It helps.

And artist to artist ur really talented. I know it's scary but at dome point showcase your art... Do it for urself, don't even tell your family. I think you will surprise yourself! I know it's easy for me to say all this from my end but I've been there and there are good times ahead. But you also need to be mature enough to realize the super shit times and also mature enough to get out of your comfort zone and move on. Also meet like minded people, that helps too.. People who exhibit the same traits as you and have a positive influence on you...

Oh and I'm currently going thru the worst breakup of my life. Lol. Anyway all the best, keep ur head up, u r awesome!!

 

4 years and no orgasms? Man you are absolutely sexually repressed!!

You can't just expect to feel happy when you are denied of sexual pleasure.

If you're not getting laid and have successfully completed a NoFap reboot then shouldn't it be ok to masturbTe occasionally to feel some pleasure?

I'm just saying, seems mentally insane to go 4 years with no orgasms lol

Cool art tho

 

May I make your paint my profile picture? I like it! Remember to spread love ! all around!!

 

4 years no O? that's a long time!

 

this is so true.....

 

Try a hobby. Something like boxing. I know you like painting. But maybe something to release all them negative stuff inside by punching and just smash some heavy bags.

 

I had no friends when I was graduating my school but I now have friends. Actually, to have friends you have to give your time to them.
And if you want to have friends at the fast rate I will prefer adding a sport in your life like a simple one like Table tennis (if you don't want to use much energy) though you can choose any sport you like. It will help you meet new people on which you can work on.
No one will talk to you if you don't talk to them.(as you might be doing the same).

Hope you make super good friends as you are a legend (4 Years).

 

Punching stuff is the best for this....

 

I dare you to masterbate, have a good orgasm. Honestly 4 years without an orgasm is insane. Maybe you'd be more confident and have more sexual energy flowing through your body.

Honestly if you told a girl you haven't jerked off or had an orgasm in 4 years she'd be like wtf is wrong with you?

PORN is the problem, it's totally ok to have an orgasm every once in awhile.

Go get laid.

 

Im 23 too and never had a girlfriend(absolutely ZERO). No kiss, nothing. But well...I move on. Be it whatever way. I ll keep moving. I had a time when i used to cry about myself and my situation ( because its pretty much not a great one at all). But i had enough, and i decided to accept whatever i have and try to improve wherever i can. Striving for better will eventually bring better.