Having a hard time quitting masturbation as a 28 year old virgin

[Xdecidestoquit]

Hello. I am a 28 year old virgin from Iran who is very ugly and super skinny. Please do not give me the Gym talk, since it won't work on me.

I have decided to quit watching porn and masturbation since 5 months ago. I have succeeded regarding masturbation but not substitute porn. I mean I don't watch porn but I do watch hot girls in hot bikinis on Instagram or YouTube. The problem does not end there. I have a depression and the Prozac and the Immipramine I am taking for this has made my sexual drive to work abnormally. I technically cum everyday after I pee. It's not an orgasm or anything it's just the white sticky thing that comes out of my penis after I pee with a little sense of sharp feeling. I have told my doctor about this and he sad it is the side effects of the pills I am taking. I hope it doesn't count as "relapse" for the NOFAP community. This has made things even worse. I have been feeling extremely horny lately and I am sick and tired of not doing anything. Having sex with a prostitute is among things that repeatedly comes to my mind, but it's either not available or I feel like I shouldn't go for it because of moral reason I myself believe in. (I'm an agnostic by the way, so no religious reasons there)

I would appreciate it if someone could give me reason to quit this forever. Give me hope to continue this and tell me why am I doing this? I know porn is bad and I am totally against the industry and I even would like to rise up against it but the thing is sexual tendencies is much more powerful than that and it will make you to forget your boundaries anyway.

I am sorry for talking to much. I am just a lonely guy who has been very suicidal lately and have no purpose in his life

 

[forksnknives]

Hey man.

Thank you for your post, you are among people that have been through all sorts of emotional and physical challenges and how will not judge or blame.

First off, sorry to hear that you're not at a happy place. Life can get you down at times for sure. It can be a right fucking pain for sure.

No gym talk here mate, but I would say that if you're able to go and swim, or run, or cycle, or even walk somewhere, it has been proven that even just a bit of exercise can help to battle depression and towards cutting down on the meds. My favourite thing to do is put some god awful pop song on and dance around my room. Britney knows best.

5 months without wanking is a fine achievement my friend. There's lots of guys on here that are dreaming of reaching that sort of time frame. Bloody brilliant mate.

Now. I am not a doctor. At all. I'd say it was maybe worth getting a second professional opinion on that discharge though? If it is cum from your high sex drive I would say that definitely does not count as a relapse and you can keep that 5 month title of yours for sure.

We're all here for you man.

 

[SanityOverVanity]

Firstly, it's very brave of you to front up and acknowledge that you have issues which need attention. Suicide is not the answer. You're not the first person to have such thoughts, you won't be the last.

Urges are part and parcel of the journey. I might sound like I have everything figured out but I struggle with them everyday too. What keeps me going? My principles. My shame and guilt due to years and years of allowing this thing to take control of me. Do not bend to it after all your hard work and struggles! And no, you did not relapse. I've had this same side effect, I'm no medical professional but it seems to be because of the build up of semen.

Forget being 'ugly' or skinny and start being happy! Self-gratification can be achieved. Just write down the things you enjoy doing and do what you can to make them more of a reality as often as you can.

Start meditating when you can, only for a few minutes everyday. I'd recommend the app Headspace if you're a beginner. Go out for walks as often as possible.

No matter what you're going through just remember someone else out there is facing worse.