May have TRIGGERS*** Read with caution. Pun intended. Need both male and female input here to help me. Is it typical for a man (without porn addiction) to lose an erection every time during sex when going from one position to the next? We are talking SECONDS here...not minutes to move into the next. Super hard to nothing in seconds. I have not experienced this in past relationships. And for reference, we are in our very early 40's. Also something to note, it always happens when we move from doggy to missionary. (Which is why I take it personally.) Before you say "It has nothing to do with you" or "Don't take it personally" or "It could be related to stress" --Imagine how you would feel if your girlfriend/wife had the issue of her vagina shutting completely closed and tight (after being open and wet) within seconds of seeing your face during sex! Try not to take that personally and get extremely depressed! This is personal and it is not superficial and it is a red flag. I know this. He has a fetish for butts and anal porn, which is why we avoided it in the beginning of recovery. Since we started to re-introduce it and do it more often this problem has become more frequent. It is really, really triggering me and causing me to feel unattractive and sad. So sad that I couldn't continue when it happened this last time. I tried not to let it show and didn't want to make him feel bad, but it is too much for me to handle and I started to cry. (I didn't let him see it and excused myself to the bathroom.) This issue makes me think that he has relapsed and not told me and is hiding it. Before this, he had been super hard and turned on since getting better. He would always lose hardness when he was actively addicted. I love him and want to be with him, but I want to avoid sex now knowing how it will end and how it will make me feel. Not worth it. Sex makes me sad and anxious lately. I hate feeling this way!