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He quit porn but now has ED

Discussion in 'Partner Support' started by NeverEnuff, Aug 20, 2020.

  1. Aug 20, 2020 #1
    NeverEnuff

    NeverEnuff New Fapstronaut

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    My BF and I dated long distance for a year and one month before he was about to move in with me, he revealed his addiction to cam girls. I was hurt but I also empathize with him, as a survivor of childhood sexual abuse (we are both survivors). We went ahead with the move and almost immediately he stopped getting erect when we tried to be intimate. It's been nearly 3 months and to the best of my knowledge he hasn't been on any cam site during that time. He explained to me that he'd lost sensation in his penis, and after research I see that it's common after long periods of too much masturbation. At this point I'm frustrated, tired, and feeling hopeless... Almost like the person I fell in live with isn't the same as the one who moved in. I love him, and want him to be okay. It's just that I put my life on hold for this relationship for so long already. Spent the long distance year alone, with the exception of a few weekend trips. I just want to feel wanted again! I know sex isn't the most important thing, but after a lonely year im ready to experience that closeness physically with someone I love again. I just don't know what to do, I feel like a selfish, awful person. But I was also betrayed....... I'm so lost.
     
    NeverEnuff, Aug 20, 2020
    NeverEnuff, Aug 20, 2020
    #1
    Wugazi32 likes this.
  2. Aug 20, 2020 #2
    Psalm27:1my light

    Psalm27:1my light Fapstronaut

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    They have to quit all porn and masturbation. Unless he’s gotten help for the addiction, he’s still doing it. My husband had pied for 5 years, it took about 4 months clean before that was gone. Even one slip will make him softer during sex. You’re bf May also have IA- intimacy anorexia. My husband does/did. As he works on the addiction, this has gotten much better.
     
    Psalm27:1my light, Aug 20, 2020
    Psalm27:1my light, Aug 20, 2020
    #2
    Wugazi32, +TenPercent and tavla like this.
  3. Aug 20, 2020 #3
    lfromcr

    lfromcr Fapstronaut

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    @NeverEnuff, I hear your sadness and pain... waiting faithfully only to feel rejected. OUCH!!! I'd be saying the same as you if I were in your shoes.

    Here is what I tell my betrayed clients in that situation: Try the "Little Blue Pill" (Viagara or something else for ED).

    Those help for physical ED caused by lack of blood-flow, but it doesn't help for the ED caused by too much P or M. (This fact is why Life magazine said many young men wanted to quit porn... because they couldn't get it up with real girls and the little blue pill wasn't working for them.)

    In the end, though, if there is just too much pain/trauma in your relationship stemming from his past habits, consider moving on. It'll take a bit for the 'oxytocin bonds' to be snipped one by one, but better a couple years of TOO MUCH pain than a couple years and a couple more.

    I hope this helps.
     
    lfromcr, Aug 20, 2020
    lfromcr, Aug 20, 2020
    #3
    Wugazi32 likes this.
  4. Sep 4, 2020 #4
    NeverEnuff

    NeverEnuff New Fapstronaut

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    This hasn't gotten any better and I'm really struggling. I guess blue pills might help with the erection but I just feel weird about everything now.
     
    NeverEnuff, Sep 4, 2020
    NeverEnuff, Sep 4, 2020
    #4
  5. Sep 8, 2020 #5
    Real Roboin

    Real Roboin Fapstronaut

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    In my experience when ED he was still using and masturbating. No Ed no masturbating.
     
    Real Roboin, Sep 8, 2020
    Real Roboin, Sep 8, 2020
    #5
    Loyalwife likes this.

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