Healthy Levels?

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by thinkinglavender, Dec 26, 2017.

  1. thinkinglavender

    thinkinglavender Fapstronaut

    21
    63
    13
    So I have a question, that i'm curious about everyones thoughts regarding.. do you guys believe there are healthy levels to P or M? And if so, what does that look like to you? In other words, what do you think the ideal relationship to either P or M is? Something i've been thinking on a lot.
     
    Deleted Account and laris like this.
  2. Depends on your goals. Alot of people, including myself believe hardmode is the best way to reboot, than you can reassess once your reboot is complete. My personal opinion and goal is to quit PMO forever and only express myself sexually with a real partner.
     
    Kris456, Vulkan, Born2Win and 6 others like this.
  3. Onehope

    Onehope Fapstronaut

    I think that from previously abusing P is somewhat impossible to moderately use it afterwards.

    M on the other hand if done entirely without P, not more than 3 times a week could be good, but again, if a person is unable to do it moderately then maybe they should stop.

    I personally believe that P is never good. Its not a sex ed, its just a fantasy of unrealistic people in unrealistic situations. It doesnt reflect well with real life, and you may become more attached to fantasy than reality, potentionally ruining your sex life.
     
  4. That depends on whether you are trying to recover from problem behaviours or compulsive use which has affected your well being. It's often compared to alcohol in that some people can drink once every now and again and it doesn't cause any real problems and others can't get enough of it. Repeated exposure to mind altering substances and stimulus (porn) often has a snowball effect on people, meaning early on the consequences don't seem to be noticeable but further down the line the risks get bigger and consequences get worse. Someone like myself for example, used to view porn every day for about 10 years until my last 5 years when i viewed it every week, you would think that is an improvement but actually it was worse because i had discovered class a drugs and rather than spending an hour or two every night it was 10-12 hours over a weekend. I've been clean and sober for a few years and i know that if i go back to viewing porn again it's only going to be a repeat of the same missery that took me to rock bottom, yet at the same time i wouldn't walk into a bar and start lecturing people about the dangers of alcohol because it's up to the individual to decide for themselves if they have a problem. So there really isn't a right or wrong answer to your question other than if you are actively trying to quit then quitting means for good, no half measures, you either do it or you don't
     
    Vulkan likes this.
  5. MarinoBigFan1984

    MarinoBigFan1984 Fapstronaut

    1,980
    1,475
    143
    I think with P abstinence is best. With masturbation I think depending on a variety of factors once or twice a month is ok in most instances especially if you are single and unattached.
     
  6. No I personally don’t think there’s a health relantionship between P or M,But if I have to chosen I rather M than watch P
     
  7. Ongoingsupport

    Ongoingsupport Fapstronaut

    Basically, it would be if both came out of your own mind instead of someone elses - without the effect of previous conditioning. The latter qualifier makes it a question of content rather than "level," although clearly there's a ton of conditioning to undo too. If you've always masturbated to twisted stories and both the biological response and the psychological thinking are conditioned to those stories, then a level of M that would have been normal and not harmful to your health is probably still too much at this point, AND it probably triggers memories of the stories and images from porn. In other words, what is a normal healthy level of masturbation with erotica has a different effect on someone who has been down a long road of PA (and likely weird stuff) and M with hours of edging over a long period of time.

    Look at it this way, if you are recovering from an injury you don't do the same exercise as healthy people.

    Funny I actually just read this part from Your Brain On Porn that speaks to this:

    "The risks of very frequent porn use are familiar to many users. Less well known is the fact that intermittent use (for example, two hours of porn bingeing followed by a few weeks of abstinence, rinse and repeat) can increase compulsion to use. The reasons are biological and there is much addiction research on intermittent use, including studies involving drug and junk food use.[240] Periods of abstinence (2 to 4 weeks) lead to neuroplastic changes[241] that don’t occur in other users. These alterations increase cravings, heighten stress responses[242] and can produce severe withdrawal symptoms.

    .. intermittent bingeing can do the same thing as continuous use, and in some cases do more."
     
    Kris456, Vulkan, bravastan and 3 others like this.
  8. Hard mode is the key . Doing one of them (no matter which) will feed the need and get in the way of progress and will inevitably keep the addiction alive.

    Just my 2 cents..
    Hard mode worked for me.
     
  9. Exponential Power

    Exponential Power Fapstronaut

    265
    373
    63
    IMHO there is no amount of P use without negative consequences. For infrequent users the negative effects may not be obvious but they are still there. I didn't fully understand the effects of PM until now that I have been free from it for a while. I was an infrequent user of P. I binged P about once a month because I was always trying to quit. Despite the low frequency P gave me low self esteem and prevented me from emotional connection with my wife. When I realized that P caused my insecurities I gave up P for 6 months. I continued to M 1-3x daily and my mental fantasies perpetuated my insecurities. I finally experienced mental clarity well into my current no PM streak. IMHO the ideal frequency of P use is never. For M: if you are in a relationship; never. If you are single; once a week maximum but no mental fantasy.
     
  10. FeelingFine

    FeelingFine Fapstronaut

    230
    257
    63
    I recommend avoiding both for a while. I had an ex who regularly used P and M (with toys), and while she would become aroused, it took forever for her to have a proper O. Going through a period of resensitization will likely help in the long run.
     
    Vulkan likes this.
  11. MarinoBigFan1984

    MarinoBigFan1984 Fapstronaut

    1,980
    1,475
    143
    At first I suggest suggest hard mode for as long as possible to reset everything. P should be never and MO only if you are single and not in a committed relationship. In that case a maximum of 2 times a month especially as you age.
     
    ReZen8ster and FeelingFine like this.
  12. Davidphd1866

    Davidphd1866 Fapstronaut

    695
    956
    93
    I have a technique I use to "test" my questions.

    How much porn and masturbation is ok?

    Is "African American Art Week" a valid theme in the workplace?

    Should I fire Susan for being late twice?

    I exchange the noun (or proper noun) and ask the question again.

    How much (heroin) and (cocaine) is OK?

    Is "Irish American Art Week" a valid theme in the workplace?

    Should I fire Bill for being late twice?


    If something that causes addiction and sexual dysfunction....and you go to the trouble of healing from that addiction, I probably would say......NONE is ok.
     
    Born2Win likes this.
  13. ClaudeDuval

    ClaudeDuval Fapstronaut

    No, PMO is a progression just like any drug. At first a little is okay but then that little bit doesn't do the trick anymore and you have to keep "upping the dose". It always leads to more and more and to more extreme things(sometimes bizarre things). It happened to me and my GF, porn shaped the way we had sex and it took the love and romance out of our sex life. Toxic and addictive... I'll be glad when it's completely out of my life for good.
     
    Kris456, Vulkan and Born2Win like this.
  14. Born2Win

    Born2Win Fapstronaut

    36
    64
    18
    Honestly their really isn’t healthy levels to it because it won’t let you just watch it once and that’s it. It’s one of those things where you’re either all in or all out. An in between doesn’t really exists.
     
  15. Born2Win

    Born2Win Fapstronaut

    36
    64
    18
    Awesome replies guys !
     
  16. FEEL

    FEEL Fapstronaut

    391
    523
    93
    Personally for me, I don't think there is a healthy level
     
    Born2Win likes this.
  17. Born2Win

    Born2Win Fapstronaut

    36
    64
    18
    Agreed
     
  18. Porn Killer

    Porn Killer Fapstronaut

    68
    102
    33
    Yeah I’m going to go with no. Porn is a definite no, it screws with your brain and there is argument for it.

    With masturbation, people will argue that it’s healthy to release sexual tension, but Is it healthy. No. You are still wiring your brain to accept an “abnormal” (Not normal sex) form of sexual pleasure. Not only that, but I think masturbate trains us to be sexual selfish because masturbation is self gratifying. So when you are with someone else then it becomes about your pleasure when it should be mutual.

    Also in my personal experience, masturbation with out porn has always led me back to porn

    But just my opinion.
     
    Kris456 likes this.
  19. ClaudeDuval

    ClaudeDuval Fapstronaut

    Agreed with everything you said, great points. It definitely trains you to be selfish, I am guilty of it.
     
    Kris456 and Porn Killer like this.
  20. Born2Win

    Born2Win Fapstronaut

    36
    64
    18
    VERY WELL STATED !
     
    Kris456 and Porn Killer like this.

Share This Page