Healthy masturbation

It's not an obssesion with own body. It's when natural physical urges of adult persons arise - letting it an exit if there's for some reason no partner to share it with.

 

I'm trying to solve PORN addiction - not to avoid masturbating.

 

Well, I'm not responsible for other peoples thoughts. I can only share what I believe to be right. And I never believed that avoiding masturbation is right. I'm 45 yeras old, exposed to porn since I was 12. It was never addictive until the explotion of free hardcore videos invaded the www.
I think that even WITH fantasies, masturbating is OK, and indeed, it got me through 37 days "clean" until I tried to avoid ANY masturbation - then it led to failure.
Masturbating without porn: A few minutes and I'm done or give up if it's not urge-driven (but boredom driven, what used to drive me towards porn).
Masturbating with porn: It starts with a self promise that it's only a quikie. Especially now that I react so fast, because I'm not used to the massive exposure... and it ends after long hours and many orgasms - total failure.

HOWEVER - Any of you who disagree with me, or that are trying to avoid ANY kind of masturbation: of course you should not even concider this!
I was just asking what people here concider to be right. I'm still exploring what's right for me. And 100% sure that totaly avoiding masturbation is NOT my aim!

 

Read above.
No pretext. Never was trying to avoid masturbation. Only porn.

 

See reply to him.

also,
My wife has these fantasies... they are mostly faceless. Not even about herself. When we had lovers (kind of in between poliamory/swing relationship with another couple) she fantasized much about HIM, but now that they're painfully gone - she's back to mostly fantasizing fogy acts, and not vivid full-stories like I tend to do.
(well, I used to write a bit porn stories too). The wife in our lovers-couple was also not that vivid-fantasizer I think. She prefered that I write to her soft letters about the beginning of our next encounter - but never to be specificly about actions made later on.

I'm not about to apologize about who I am and in what I believe. I do respect that you see things differently.

 

Oops! SORRY!

Never crossed my mind that such is a trigger. You are right. To me it's not - but it can be to others.

I need to MO some. Else I fall right back to full porn addiction. The kind of MO I described in not addictive. Does not take hours.
Sadly, when I collapse back to a couple of hours of porn, I react with higher general responce, and I make love to my wife - but later on I collapse to full addiction. When I keep clean - I lose attraction. She's lovely. It's not her. But that's how I react to my reboot. I just don't crave her. The last few days were EASY! Avoiding porn was done without even thinking of it. But avoiding my wife came with it. We cuddle, we kiss I feel love - not passion.

 

Got a wife, 25 years. She's quite hot!
She was my 1st partner, and the only one till recent years.
Lately we had a couple of lovers. I had troubles performing with my partner. I was deeply in love with her, but performance was partial. (With wife was OK).
They left. It was too painful for her when I couldn't perform at all. So my reboot is mixed with the pain of longing for her. Maybe this is part of the reason that now I rarely want to have sex with my wife. It's all so complicated...

But in answer to your statement: I had four years during which I had two mates, two of the hottest women you can find (and can compete with most of the 30 years-old ladies). It's not the issue here.
The issue is how I see my sexuality, what's right FOR ME.
I never dared to fully explore myself, empty of mental images. Just checking what my body feels like. And I'm asking myself why not. It was kind of embarrasing, you know? And I don't know why it should be.

 

10x Gayser.
I'm NOT having a healthy sex life with my wife since "the elves" decided to leave. We are in quite a situation here. On one hand we are mourning their absence. On the other we deal with my second serious attempt to reboot, in which I'm much more decisive than the short one I had about a year and half ago. Then I stayed clean for 19 days, and once I filed - I had quit. Now it's a main goal in my life.

I'm determined to make contact with "the elves" as soon as possible. But when will it be possible?
She (the lover) needs to know I'm recovered from my addiction. I believe that the performance problem was something that had much more to do with the connection between us, than with my addiction. I don't believe that even being clean for two years will change much in my reaction with her. Yet I still love her, and miss her letters, writing to her back... composing songs for her that come from pure love, and being in bed with her, with them at our side. When I did perform - I had with her the happiest moments of my life. It was like religious excitement.

Oh, and regarding religion... yup, I'm atheist. The elf, she's a true believer hoping that god understands. But I just cannot bring myself to believe in god. I'm more down to earth, believing only in things I can see, and in fairies
Well, not really, but I wish fantasy stories were truth. The elf shared writing many such stories with me. It was condences happiness.

 

No need no pretext to M. Look at my banner!
I'm here to avoid porn, and SOLELY porn. Indeed I came to the conclussion that porn is addictive and bad for me. However, I did not come to such conclussion regarding M.
I'm asking whether clear-mind M would be prefferable to fantasizing mind. That's all.

 

Sorry Shakti, but I disagree here.
I'm not trying to quit MO. Only PMO.

I'm actually AFRAID of depending on anyone to get sexual satisfaction. Be it my wife or anyone else. I wouldn't like that. And she actually agrees with me. She was against drastic changes, and against quitting MO, but very pro quitting porn.
And if I wasn't addicted to porn, she'd be OK with it too. At occations a few years ago she even joined me to watching, and we used it as a teaser and background a few times. She would keep on doing it if I wasn't addicted, but since we now understand that it's an addiction just like alchohol (or worse), we won't do it.

We do drink wine but we don't have the tendency to get addicted to it. Just like I don't tend to get addicted to MO without the P.

 

There are different beliefs on what's right and wrong. The name "nofap" is, as I believe, generic. If the managers here say otherwise, I'll respect it.
I'm not against MO. It does not cause an addiction. Only porn is a disturbing addiction for me. I don;t wish to stop MO, but I wish to recover from my addiction. And I have thoughts on a different way to MO, maybe healthier.

Some kids here don't even have a partner... Where will they expres their totally natural physical urges? Will they avoid orgasming for years?! Well, to my opinion, avoiding ANY kind of orgasm is unhealthy. Keep things in proportion!

 

Correct! My only problem is the P. If I'll get one day to different conclussions - I'll deal with some more letters