Healthy masturbation?

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by staub, Mar 12, 2017.

  1. staub

    staub Fapstronaut

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    So in another post I briefly touched upon this topic and I wanted to get some oppinions on the matter.
    I usually state that I do not condem nor dislike masturbation.
    However, we all here can clearly agree that there are unhealthy levels of doing so.
    Theres a ton of reports here backing this up. :p

    A note in advance, while Models is a book on getting women,
    No More Mister Nice Guy is more of a general book on male health.
    Edit: And, since I actually forgot to say this,
    I realize this is a touchy subject as we all are here because we used masturbation in a unhealthy manner. This is not meant to be a guide or anything, just asking for oppinions on this.

    Now, I've read "Models" by Mark Manson and "No more Mister Nice Guy" by Robert Glover and while Models only shortly touches on the subject, Glovers No More Mister Nice Guy has the following, interessting insight (at least to what I think) on this matter. Healthy Masturbation is definded like this:
    (...) is a process of letting sexual energy unfold. It has no goal, or destination. It's not just about orgasm. It does not require outside stimulation from pornography.
    He also includes fantasy to this (like imagining yourself doing a pornstar or simply thinking of a porn movie).

    He includes it into his plan as an activity, described as follows:
    Set aside a time for healthy masturbation. (...) Practice by looking at yourself and touching yourself without using pornography or your fantasy. Pay attention to how it feels to experience your sexuality without any goals (such as having an orgasm).
    Also, observe any tendancy to distract yourself from what you are experiencing (going into fantasy, becoming goal-oriented, distracting thoughts, loss of physical sensation)


    Models agrees on all of these things (mostly no pornography or other outside stimuly) adds to this to use lube and only go very softly on yourself, giving in to the sensation (...). Again, if you masturbate, be with yourself, not jacking it to some stuff.

    Glover also states that some of his patients were compulsive masturbators, and he also used a Reboot, followed by this for their recovery.
    Glover says that this usually keeps his patients from masturbation becoming a compulsive behavior while Manson (Models) adds a timeframe of not more than once a week, and only if you feel like it, never for release of stress or anything (so no touchy touchy while stressed!)

    Anyone any experiences on this subject?
     
    Last edited: Mar 12, 2017
  2. Shang-Chi

    Shang-Chi Fapstronaut

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    No words for this.

    Just this:



    Search sexual transmutation and semen retention benefits on YouTube.
     
    u376 likes this.
  3. LoyalKnight

    LoyalKnight Fapstronaut

    Well, if you masturbate only lets say once per month and if you do not feel urges to masturbate again, they you are on the safe side. It would be still better though, not to masturbate if all. You should have sex only, if that is no option, well then wet dreams it will be.

    But let's be honest: No one here can masturbate without getting addicted to it. The risk of masturbating more and more is always there, which is also because of the chaser effect and novelty.

    It is always better from you if you abstain from masturbation. Name me one benefit why you should masturbate.

    So brother, stay clean!
     
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  4. staub

    staub Fapstronaut

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    Wow that a terrible video. This all could have been said in half the time and a lot less "preachery".
    However, I have problems with what he says. Funnily he mentions he got a GF after his year and not said anything about that.
    What is now? Is he out of energy again since now he's intimate with her?
    Why would being intimate with a women be different?

    Next thing that bugs me. I try not to use youtube as a source of information. (Just check on the topic of 76 or whatnot genders and using one pronouns and you can understand why)
    I don't say that all of them are wrong. it's just that they (especially this guy) preach like a pastor in church about their oppinion.
    I watched the the thing but that is neither a discussion nor a input on my topic.

    I do however get your point, googleing "sexual transmutation and semen retention benefits" . Funnily, google searching semen retention yields this is the second result. :)
    But, discussing this is something I wanted to do here. :)
     
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  5. Shang-Chi

    Shang-Chi Fapstronaut

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    Alot of people like Infinite Waters, www.ralphsmart.com

    Sorry you're different.

    You seem like a negative and closed-minded person so I'm done in here peace.

    https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=nofap+1+year
     
  6. staub

    staub Fapstronaut

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    Hey loyal, don't worry definetly will!
    I also thought I said it that we here are here because of the very reason that it becomes compulsive. (If not I will immediatly add it)

    I most curious on oppinions or a discussion, but you already bring good points to the table (also did Shang-Chi)

    Edit: Crap, I actually forgot to say it.
     
    Last edited: Mar 12, 2017
  7. staub

    staub Fapstronaut

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    I
    Of course he has a website selling 1 to 1 sessions for 350/hour.

    I did say I get your point! ^^
    I just don't like the way the guy in the video presents his stuff, but that is just my personal oppinion.
    I am, however, not a very faithful or spiritual person. I clearly side with science and logic, and while it is not wrong what he says, it is not backed up in any way (except his personal experience. no studies or anything).
     
    Last edited: Mar 12, 2017
  8. Rikarwb

    Rikarwb Fapstronaut

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    Some people on NoFap are not addicted to masturbation, but to porn, sex in general, or perhaps a fetish of some sort.

    I know it's called "NoFap" ... but it goes way beyond "masturbation" :p
     
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  9. Rikarwb

    Rikarwb Fapstronaut

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    You'll read a lot of different opinions on the matter.

    I would say that it's possible to masturbate in a healthy way. I never heard of those authors ( or books ) so i never tried those "plans".

    However, when i started the streak im in currently, i quit porn first, and after a month of masturbating once a week, i quit masturbation as well. I didn't use porn or fantasies, just the sensation of my body ... so i guess i kinda did what you described :p

    So here's my experience: It felt awesome. Once a week, no worries, quick sessions, none of "I must find the perfect video to climax to" or "My balls hurt of how long i have been fapping" ( Yes, that happend to me ) ... In those times, i tried to REALLY focus on my body and relax. And after that month, the urges of watching porn were quite low to my surprise. I was expecting to urge porn because of masturbation ... but i didn't.
    However, i still wanted to go hardmode, so i quit porn and masturbation all together.

    Note: This is my experience with a "somewhat healthy habit of masturbation", which might not reflect other people's experiences with masturbation.

    In conclusion, i think you can masturbate in a healthy way. ON THE OTHER HAND, many people on this website ( not all ) are addicted to masturbation ... so i don't know if those people can masturbate in a healthy way, Just like i don't know if an ex-alcoholic can drink in a healthy way.
     
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  10. staub

    staub Fapstronaut

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    I've been thinking a lot since yesterday and interestingly, we actually share some conclussions!
    Mainly, I need to take into account that there is a differnce in addictions.
    Yes, some are porn but some are also masturbation, which is something I did not do. I realize that now.
    Apart from that it is also a lot of me being curious as to what comes next after the reboot.

    On that topic I started another thread in the reboot section.
    For me personally I'd close this thread now, as I realize that I made mistakes and that my question was not even clear to myself.
     
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  11. Shang-Chi

    Shang-Chi Fapstronaut

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  12. Shang-Chi

    Shang-Chi Fapstronaut

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    Best wishes to you man in your reboot!
     
    staub likes this.
  13. Aiyoshi

    Aiyoshi Fapstronaut

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    I followed those advices about masturbation and it's waaaay better than PMOing every 3 days or so.

    Instead of having one big problem, it gets divided into two small pieces. While was often horried about the troubles to stop MO, managed to see the day 54 of NO Porn.

    People here are being stupid by ignoring a possibility of having a better reboot. So if you have to choose between PMO and just MO, make the smarter choice.
     
  14. staub

    staub Fapstronaut

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    What advices, those from the books?
    I find them interessting as they basically say that after the reboot you can reintroduce your brain to MO (but not porn) and still live a happy life.

    One can also say that no one way of dealing with a problem such as PMOing is flawless. Every person is different, some are just porn-addicted and for others, the cure to this is not doing nofap but something else alltogether.
    To me from what I gathered, nofap is a stepping stone to fixing yourself. If PMO is the problem your set when beginning (and of course sticking with it). If something else is the problem you may get the boost in motivation or the starting point for fixing that as well.
     
  15. Aiyoshi

    Aiyoshi Fapstronaut

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    @staub Yes, from No More Mister Nice Guy book, and while one can say that it's important to stick with the decision, it's also important to try every possible alternative to solve it. This one has it's benefits and a lot of pleasure.

    As for masturbation after the reboot, if that's what you want, go ahead. It will be more intense than before for sure, but the question will be "do I want to reintroduce it?"
     
  16. staub

    staub Fapstronaut

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    Ahh a very good question indeed.
    One I'll answer after the 90 days the earliest, maybe a few more.
    I do see the benefits I have so far from not MO and the last 11 weeks flew by so quickly since I was mostly busy. So once I done the 90,
    I'll give that a thorough thought and reevaluate the situation. Since everyone says 90 is a magic number I want to at least wait until then, though I'm not sure wether there are other "new" benefits or I just keep those I have. :)
     
  17. Big_Boss

    Big_Boss Fapstronaut

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    Well, maybe there is a healthy way to masturbate, but I like the power of being so horny. If I have to lose some of my energy, I lose it with a nice woman.
     
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  18. staub

    staub Fapstronaut

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    That is definetly one of the hugest benefits of not masturbating.
     
  19. The idea that one would masturbate just as a way to release some tension, without using it as a way how to get rid of stress, anxiety and without porn or even crazy fantasies, not too often, just focusing on a feeling alone? That idea makes sense to me as a healthy way to masturbate. I would still argue that a lot of benefits, such as better memory, more energy, better focus and so on, are wasted that way. But that's not really a bad thing, some people might just not care about it. Maybe they don't need those things in their life because they are satisfied with their current situation or maybe they already naturally have tons of those benefits anyways. So I am sure healthy type and amount of masturbation exists.

    That being said, I don't know whether there is such thing as healthy masturbation for ME personally. One thing is that I want and need the benefits. Otherwise my life is just objectively worse. I don't have abundance of benefits that nofpa gives naturally, like some people do, so I have to abstain or limit it rather extremely. Even once a week makes me feel drained, grades at collage become worse and I start to become more anxious about past and future events and less social. So I think maybe an ejaculation once a month would be MY healthy amount. I would have a wet dream anyways around once a month so might as well do it while fully conscious and get full pleasure out of it. And I don't have a GF right now, if I would then MO would not be healthy thing for me at all ever, not even just once a month.

    As far as porn goes, I definitely feel the need to watch it less when I MO. Sure it is addictive thing by itself but I think what brings me to it the most is being horny. Also boredom and stress of different types. But eliminating one of those three things definitely makes it easier to abstain until I fully reboot and erase this negative habit of using porn as an escape.

    One another thing is that I notice that MO alone is also a huge addiction to me. Not just porn. Maybe even more than porn itself. So I am not even sure whether I could keep it once a month even if I would want to. Yet to fully test it. But there is high chance that it would just tempt me into more and I would relapse. And this is true for a lot of things non-related to sexuality for me; easier to just cut them out completely than limit them.
     
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  20. staub

    staub Fapstronaut

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    Wow, very well said.
    Very insightful, especially in regards to yourself. Thanks for sharing. :)
     

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