Heartbreak Hotel - The Rant

I wont take up to much time, im sorry to everyone here i do hope you find some healing

this was supposed to be a moment of triumph 51 days without P, 51!!!! it was near impossible. plus im on a 6 day streak no PMO. ive actually had people telling me they like the the jolly new me i felt so energized

tbh i was being a bit flirty, now i have been told to "behave".... what? YOU (as in she) approached ME Yes I as in the MALE did the "be an man' and pushed it a little further now when i feel the most confident im supposed to put myself back in a shell NOOO sweetheart no.

and in the typical AMORAL way i didn't speak my mind i bent and apologized as the authors of books like The Game and Art of seduction told me to do.
half of me wants to be like "F*** off" but now I feel emotionally shattered knowing i poked my head on one frigging moment and still BOOM here comes the proverbial (yes im bi polar and clinically depressed) and a hidden recovering P addict HOORAYYY

sorry for that long lame explanation i just needed a safe place to rant