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Hell-bent on quitting it for good this time

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by your_thrill, Sep 24, 2020.

  1. your_thrill

    your_thrill Fapstronaut

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    Tried to quit several times before without even realizing I had an addiction: I've had quite long success periods (up to several months if my memory is correct) abstaining from p (but not m), but relapsed for various reasons. This year, working from home due to Covid19 (and having too much privacy), I think it was a last drop for me. I realized that my bad habits started affecting my sex life - I felt like I wasn't "there", I was somewhere else, fantasizing. And it felt terrible - it felt like betraying my partner. Interestingly, just after one week of abstaining from p and m, sex felt much better - I was present, "in the moment" and enjoying it.
    Now, I was never a heavy p user - watching it for hours was never my case. But that's where it gets tricky - it is much harder to admit addiction when you are not a frequent user, sort of just for fun.
    At the moment, I am set on 90 days PM challenge. I know there will be tough times ahead, especially when it comes to M, but I am cautiously positive this time.
     
    Piyush sakhare likes this.
  2. Piyush sakhare

    Piyush sakhare Fapstronaut

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    Let's do it brother....
    Do it together...
     
    your_thrill likes this.
  3. runner0424

    runner0424 Fapstronaut

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    I think we are similar, it took me a while before I admitted I had a problem Bc for years I might have only used porn once every 3-4 weeks, sometimes longer. Here are some tips and my story below.

    I relapsed twice after 6 months Or so when I thought I had it beat. I’m currently 7 months 13 days free from that relapse. It had been A struggle for 17 years in my life. I’m also married with 3 kids.

    I have learned a lot in my struggle with porn. One, is what triggers me. A lot on the internet and tv triggered me(seeing beautiful women). I believe my last relapse was super bowl halftime show, I didn’t relapse that night, but like a week or two after it, but those images stayed with me and I kept wanting more, even after 6 months.

    I also researched And watched videos of the science behind it all and it releases dopamine In your brain and scary how the addiction can become when I thought I could control it.

    the ways I feel like I have conquered it for good was that I had my wife put in an adult filter password that I don’t know what it is(it could be a friend if not married). It’s my backup plan when having a bad day and can’t see the adult sites. I also don’t watch shows that could trigger me and try to turn my head if I think a scene is coming. More importantly though, I have really grown in my faith with God. I have listened to so many sermons on temptations and that has helped me tremendously. Rick Warren and Greg Laurie are 2 of my favorites and have helped me a ton!! I learned about all the garbage I was putting in my mind. The analogy was how we have to watch what we eat, we can’t eat McDonald’s fried food every meal without bad consequences, the same thing applies with what you consistently put in your mind. We are trying to undo years and years of bad addictions and it takes time to undo that.
    “Above Inspiration” YouTube videos are great too. Give them a listen, it’s usually 10-20 min long.

    Hopefully this helps and try and learn as much as possible and avoid whatever gets you tempted and triggered. make it a lifestyle change and don’t beat yourself up if you have a relapse. Just learn from it and keep trying to do better. Porn free radio podcast by Matt Dobschuetz
    I also told myself , I would help as many people possible struggling with this as I could once when I got it under control.
     
    determinedtoquit and your_thrill like this.
  4. your_thrill

    your_thrill Fapstronaut

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    Thank you for your story! Yes, I am still to figure out what REALLY triggers it for me. I think before I just did not realize how much it messes up my brain, so I went back without any guilt. But after years and years it really has taken its toll and I am not ok with this anymore
     

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