Hello a porn addict and life failure joining the nofap!

[Defytheodds]

hey i am weakguy101 i've choosen this username cause i believe i am weak mentaly and more like of a pussy ... but i know i was not always this way i actually was strong and dedicated , funny and strong ..but that changed over the years , specialy when i went bald at the age of 20..
to make my situation clear , i am 24 a virgin never had a girlfriend (i kissed a couple girls , felt a vagina and boobs when drunk..so i know how beautiful ) i've been fappin for a decade or more.. never stopped n still.. but i decided to put an end to it ; cant lie its f* hard ..
i've quit drinking for 1year a now and smoking for 2 weeks and going , fappin 2 days ago , n started workin out at home, i made this huge step after a let myself sink in depression i would not eat the whole day ; i wake up and fap then smoke and i repeat , i dropped weight to 57kg..
now iam trying to make improvements but lets just say its a bit late ...(its never to late ; but family wouldnt agree on that..)
i'am about to fail college (i wanna be honest i am studyin abroad 4000km away from my family , life is hard ,money is an issue and i was stupid to not study )... i got no future(i dont know whats next;may only chance to make it is to win the lottery; what are the odds..), no past(i missed alot because of my addiction and depression), i cant live the present without having regrets and rethinkin the past and planning for super cool future life that will never happen at this rate..
but what i gained of this is a new life vision , life is a bitch thats true;while u still breathin live it your way.. believe it until you make it ...(says the broke guy lel whatever..)
for now my goals are :
1. quit smoking definitly
2. quit fappin and PORN !!
3.reach 70kg get fit..
4.find a way to make a living on internet and a career maybe(if someone can help with that that would turn my life around..)
5.after succeding the 4 goals , i wanna travel around the globe thats what i want , we have one life and one only ,i could spend it runnin after succes and money like social media is showin us, but i want to fulfull it with knowledge gained for experience , memories , and emotions pure emotions...
(this is comin from a guy that tought he would die because of a decease , got scared and anxious for months , and then got depressed and tought of suicide and now trying to survive somehow )
its hard for me to express whats going on in my mind its complicated , excuse any grammar mistakes english is my 3th language and i hope this community will help me succed in my journey ! and i wish goodluck to everyone fightin their addictions ! peace!

 

[ghost94]

Hey bro, the fact that your wrote in here means you are not a weak guy. All I got to say is this, the past is the past and what's done is done. Just keep fighting and eventually it gets easier. It's not easy to give up alcohol and cigarettes as you have done, use those accomplishments to fuel your motivation to get over nofap. I also went through hell when I lived on res away from my parents, my life had no order. Now all I do is come to this forum whenever I feel it's necessary and I also go out for night time walks or I pray. I know deep down in you theres a positive voice that's a little hard to hear right now, try and pay more attention to this voice and give it more power.

 

[Defytheodds]

thank you for your reply @ghost94 it is really encouraging ! i am trying my best to keep up and fight the urges while rebuilding up myself , so i can see more clear ,cause thats all i can do right now..
indeed being away from your parents is really hard , at first you dont really notice it (you are about freedoom etc..) but after it hits you hard . i'm battling myself , its amazing how one can go in a war with his own self ,but conquerin yourself will open up a whole world for you ..
keep up the good work bro , no one knows what you are capable of even yourself until you do it !