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Hello everybody, 20 years old newbie here

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by Thommas Le, Nov 3, 2019.

  1. Thommas Le

    Thommas Le Fapstronaut

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    Hi everybody,
    I'm a 20-year-old boy who want to start the nofap journey today. I've heard of the nofap community and watched some videos about nofap for a couple of years, but I was somehow reluctant to join the team. I thought I could do it all by myself, but recently I realized that it is so damn hard to go on this journey alone.
    I've been using porn since 2013, which means 6 years already. In the first 3 years I watched porn and masturbated excessively, I jerked of to porn almost everyday. For the last 3 years, I've noticed some negative effects of porn and masturbation on my body and my lifestyle, that's when I decided to stop. I have tried on and off for 3 years now, I keep telling myself not to look at porn, but sometimes I couldnt resist it. My longest streak lasted about 30 days and then I relapsed. My latest streak was for 21 days, and I relapsed yesterday (twice), and today too (once). So I literally on day one again.
    So, I have a couple of questions and I would appreciate any relevant answers:
    1. I feel really depressed on my 2nd and 3rd week without porn and masturbation. Now I dont know what "depression" is like, but I mean I feel bad all day, all the time, and I feel very easily irritated, and I dont have the motivation to study, to talk to other people,.... That is the main reason I relapse. So I want to ask if any of you have the same experience as I do, and is that normal, if it is how long will it last, and can I do anything about it?
    2. I think that masturbating has hindered my growth, does anyone here feel the same?
    By growth I mean physical growth like height, strength, endurance, sport performance, etc. Do you have any recommendation? I mean I'm only 20, almost 21, and I think I still have some rooms for physical improvement, so some advice will be of great help?
    3. I would love to read your success stories, they will be great encouragements, so please feel free to write your stories here, I really want to read, and maybe learn something from them.
    That all for now. Stay persistent my friends, and I would love to here from you.
    Thommas
     
    rafael33 and Deleted Account like this.
  2. Hello and welcome! :)

    We are glad to have you as a part of our community. Here are some quick links to get you started.

    Getting Started Guide | How to Use the NoFap Forums | Panic Button | Day Counter | Rebooting Resources | Forum Rules | Glossary

    If you wish to keep a journal of your progress you can do so in the appropriate section found here

    You can also take part in one of the many challenges available. It can be a tremendous help. Challenges

    Also, there are groups you can also join if you wish to do so. You can browse through them here. Groups

    There are plenty of wonderful, friendly and knowledgeable people here to help you along on your journey to a life free of PMO. I wish you nothing but the best!
     
  3. rafael33

    rafael33 Fapstronaut

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    Welcome to the Nofap community.
    The NO PMO journey is not easy but worth the effort.
    The community will support you.

    Great! I see your serious efforts.

    The main reason you relapse is your mind telling you “watch porn and fap” - and you listen to it. Focus on what you really want: true happiness. You want to get rid of addiction and it’s well possible.
     
    Thommas Le likes this.
  4. keepitinmybriefs

    keepitinmybriefs Fapstronaut

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    I don't think masturbation stunted your growth. There are many downsides to compulsive PMO, but changing your height is not one of them. :)
     
  5. Jamwan14

    Jamwan14 Fapstronaut

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    Yo man I feel the same, but porn doesn’t bother me that much. For me personally, it’s more about stopping masturbation. Without porn it doesn’t feel weird. But our brains are now hardwired to PMO when we experience any stress or problems in life. And it hits me harder especially when I don’t have an intimate relationship with another person. So far I haven’t had any problems with PMO, I’m on week 2 almost 3 weeks in now. Self confidence and self esteem are so much better, but I am more depressed than ever. Maybe check in with a counselor if you’re really overwhelmed. But stay strong my man. Good luck on the journey!
     
  6. Thommas Le

    Thommas Le Fapstronaut

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    How can you have good self confidence and the biggest depression at the same time?
     
  7. Thommas Le

    Thommas Le Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for the advice bro.
     
  8. Jamwan14

    Jamwan14 Fapstronaut

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    I’m not depressed about my physical appearance. I’m depressed because school is hard, my financial situation etc... It’s not completely disconnected but I would argue it doesn’t affect how I socialize and how my self confidence would be affected. I’m confident, it’s just a lot of stress is making me depressed.
     
  9. rafael33

    rafael33 Fapstronaut

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    Maybe. What makes the situation around you appear to you as stress? Problems are in your mind, nowhere else. I don’t know if it is possible to control mind. I like to put my focus on the inner beauty and to listen to my heart. Then life becomes simple, not complicated.
     
  10. Jamwan14

    Jamwan14 Fapstronaut

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    That is completely true, and I agree with you on that. Maybe shifting focus would help me push through. Humans are complicated animals, I wish I can adjust to that status. Stress is everywhere. There are deadlines to meet; there are lots of work to do.
     

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