sven_from_russia
Fapstronaut
Hello to all. I am proud to say that as of today, I am a member of NoFap. My story is a long and rather sad one. But if it wasn't, I wouldn't be here now, would I ? 
Rewind about 5 years, to when I was a 17 year old lad happily jerking off in my parent's house. I was a rather intelligent, if naive, young man, quite prodigious in music, art, and writing. Never like the other boys, I didn't care for athletics that much, more drawing or playing the piano when I was little. But with the dawn of puberty came the cold and heartless apathy that often ensues, and I fell into deep self hatred, culminating in depression and anorexia. I still have an ED to this day.
Since I was something of a late bloomer, the ED damaged my hormones and normal development, and I entered the dark ages. After recovering a couple years later, I attempted to go to college, only to find that I was woefully underdeveloped, both physically and mentally. The young women there viewed me merely as a nerd, stunted freak of a boy with no sex game whatsoever, as I looked and still look about 4 years younger than I am; hardly the hardened, rough man who seems desirable to them. Depressed, my grades slipped, and I dropped out. From 20 to my current age I have worked menial jobs; construction, fast food, factories, pushing carts, even though my passion is still music and I want nothing more than to just do that and find a sweet girl, I, a bit like Bono, still have not found what I am looking for. I became filled with deep self loathing and hatred of the human race; girls, for rejecting and spitting on me, guys, for having what I want, and my bosses and society for forcing me to endure intolerable labor for little pay just to stay alive.
Since I realized I was not going to get laid anyway, I got into porn at about 19 and used it to fill the void of my soul. I also got into drugs, smoking weed heavily for the past 2 years and taking whatever hallucinogenics I could get my hands on, to ease the emotional landscape of my life and blot out the pain and frustration. But recently I realized how fruitless it was, and even if there is nothing there, I need a solid foundation to start. So on this day I reject porn, the opiate of the masses and the working class, in the hope that I can build something better for myself in the coming years.
Good to be here, on the path, and I hope that many interesting discussions follow.
Rewind about 5 years, to when I was a 17 year old lad happily jerking off in my parent's house. I was a rather intelligent, if naive, young man, quite prodigious in music, art, and writing. Never like the other boys, I didn't care for athletics that much, more drawing or playing the piano when I was little. But with the dawn of puberty came the cold and heartless apathy that often ensues, and I fell into deep self hatred, culminating in depression and anorexia. I still have an ED to this day.
Since I was something of a late bloomer, the ED damaged my hormones and normal development, and I entered the dark ages. After recovering a couple years later, I attempted to go to college, only to find that I was woefully underdeveloped, both physically and mentally. The young women there viewed me merely as a nerd, stunted freak of a boy with no sex game whatsoever, as I looked and still look about 4 years younger than I am; hardly the hardened, rough man who seems desirable to them. Depressed, my grades slipped, and I dropped out. From 20 to my current age I have worked menial jobs; construction, fast food, factories, pushing carts, even though my passion is still music and I want nothing more than to just do that and find a sweet girl, I, a bit like Bono, still have not found what I am looking for. I became filled with deep self loathing and hatred of the human race; girls, for rejecting and spitting on me, guys, for having what I want, and my bosses and society for forcing me to endure intolerable labor for little pay just to stay alive.
Since I realized I was not going to get laid anyway, I got into porn at about 19 and used it to fill the void of my soul. I also got into drugs, smoking weed heavily for the past 2 years and taking whatever hallucinogenics I could get my hands on, to ease the emotional landscape of my life and blot out the pain and frustration. But recently I realized how fruitless it was, and even if there is nothing there, I need a solid foundation to start. So on this day I reject porn, the opiate of the masses and the working class, in the hope that I can build something better for myself in the coming years.
Good to be here, on the path, and I hope that many interesting discussions follow.
