sailor.ega
New Fapstronaut
i've been browsing nofap stuff for a little while now, it's been very helpful, thx guys 
i've been using porn consistently since elementary school, but I think some time in high school it became a coping mechanism for social/general anxiety. it's felt like a downward spiral socially and academically. and I hope I'm not going off the topic of porn addiction. my performance in school has been on a gradual decline since 6th grade, I began failing courses in my senior year of high school for the first time, and this year, my freshmen year in cc, I flunked every class for three quarters. without going too off topic I default to porn whenever I'm faced with anxiety over school. a good example is some time lapse videos I took of myself in freshmen year of hs doing schoolwork where I'm trying to do a bunch of shit last minute (procrastination), until I start crying before I look at like chaturbate or whatever porn for like 30 minutes and give up. or that i'd skip class to jack off in my car. and likewise the social anxiety has worsened so that now i feel helplessly detached in the presence of even close friends and family, retreating afterwards to go edge for however long, because when I'm watching porn nothing else matters. of course i feel pathetic and deeply shameful but those feelings are reinforcing my stupid cycle of anxiety and self loathing.
yesterday i used porn and cried, today i used porn again. it's like a switch flips in my head and i watch myself use porn. ig sexuality is natural or whatever but this doesn't feel like it, it drives me crazy not having any control over my impulses.
also, i feel something like brain fog sometimes after watching porn which contributes to social anxiety, because i can't for the life of me figure out a way to respond in conversation.
i feel anxiety texting people so i don't respond and instinctively use porn.
okay I'm ready to do nofap now, pleeaase i want to love myself and love others and i can't do that if i shut my brain off watching porn every day.
does anyone else feel like porn is reinforcing their social anxiety?
i've been using porn consistently since elementary school, but I think some time in high school it became a coping mechanism for social/general anxiety. it's felt like a downward spiral socially and academically. and I hope I'm not going off the topic of porn addiction. my performance in school has been on a gradual decline since 6th grade, I began failing courses in my senior year of high school for the first time, and this year, my freshmen year in cc, I flunked every class for three quarters. without going too off topic I default to porn whenever I'm faced with anxiety over school. a good example is some time lapse videos I took of myself in freshmen year of hs doing schoolwork where I'm trying to do a bunch of shit last minute (procrastination), until I start crying before I look at like chaturbate or whatever porn for like 30 minutes and give up. or that i'd skip class to jack off in my car. and likewise the social anxiety has worsened so that now i feel helplessly detached in the presence of even close friends and family, retreating afterwards to go edge for however long, because when I'm watching porn nothing else matters. of course i feel pathetic and deeply shameful but those feelings are reinforcing my stupid cycle of anxiety and self loathing. yesterday i used porn and cried, today i used porn again. it's like a switch flips in my head and i watch myself use porn. ig sexuality is natural or whatever but this doesn't feel like it, it drives me crazy not having any control over my impulses.
also, i feel something like brain fog sometimes after watching porn which contributes to social anxiety, because i can't for the life of me figure out a way to respond in conversation.
i feel anxiety texting people so i don't respond and instinctively use porn.
okay I'm ready to do nofap now, pleeaase i want to love myself and love others and i can't do that if i shut my brain off watching porn every day.
does anyone else feel like porn is reinforcing their social anxiety?