Hello, lonely rape victim struggling with nofap

[Deleted Account]

I have been doing nofap on and off for at least 2 years. My longest streak was 53 days. I started to think that nofap was stupid and a waste of time but now I've noticed that my porn and MO habits are skyrocketing through the roof so I desperately need help and an accountability partner. I started going on dating websites to find a husband since I am Christian and feel like sex should not be outside of marriage but I know that I cannot depend on my husband for everything. This is an issue that I need to fix within myself with the help of God. I am a very lonely person. I have a ton of friends but no one that knows my deepest struggles. They all look to me as a mentor and I'm always the leader so admitting that I am a porn addict is humiliating for me and even when I hint at it, no one really seems to see this as a problem? I think it's also because I'm a woman. Anyway, I'm hoping to have a place to vent and meet like-minded people because I'm tired of this loneliness cycle. I think my hypersexuality came from me being raped by three people at the age of 3 to 5. They were supposed to be my caretakers and they touched me in ways that adults never should. I just need some support because I'm at wit's end now.

 

[33ctf6m8pdpq]

Hello. I am brand new to this community so I don't have much to offer on the porn-side of things — for that, I apologize. I have, however, been fighting several other hardcore battles with addictions for the last nine months and have learned a lot about addiction and the addiction cycle in general. I like Johann Hari's (TED Talk) perspective on addiction when he says: "The solution for addiction is not abstinence. The solution for addiction is connection." If you have a lot of friends, but none of them understand you, its akin to hiding/being isolated in plain site. We can't always expect the people closest to us to understand what we are going through and that's OK. I think that fact that you're here, participating in the community, and actively working on your recovery, are all great signs. Keep finding like-minded people to work with. Keep working with your higher power. Keep connecting. Good Luck!

 

[Deleted Account]

Hello. I am brand new to this community so I don't have much to offer on the porn-side of things — for that, I apologize. I have, however, been fighting several other hardcore battles with addictions for the last nine months and have learned a lot about addiction and the addiction cycle in general. I like Johann Hari's (TED Talk) perspective on addiction when he says: "The solution for addiction is not abstinence. The solution for addiction is connection." If you have a lot of friends, but none of them understand you, its akin to hiding/being isolated in plain site. We can't always expect the people closest to us to understand what we are going through and that's OK. I think that fact that you're here, participating in the community, and actively working on your recovery, are all great signs. Keep finding like-minded people to work with. Keep working with your higher power. Keep connecting. Good Luck!

This was a very wise reply. Thank you so much. I will continue to push forward.