I have been doing nofap on and off for at least 2 years. My longest streak was 53 days. I started to think that nofap was stupid and a waste of time but now I've noticed that my porn and MO habits are skyrocketing through the roof so I desperately need help and an accountability partner. I started going on dating websites to find a husband since I am Christian and feel like sex should not be outside of marriage but I know that I cannot depend on my husband for everything. This is an issue that I need to fix within myself with the help of God. I am a very lonely person. I have a ton of friends but no one that knows my deepest struggles. They all look to me as a mentor and I'm always the leader so admitting that I am a porn addict is humiliating for me and even when I hint at it, no one really seems to see this as a problem? I think it's also because I'm a woman. Anyway, I'm hoping to have a place to vent and meet like-minded people because I'm tired of this loneliness cycle. I think my hypersexuality came from me being raped by three people at the age of 3 to 5. They were supposed to be my caretakers and they touched me in ways that adults never should. I just need some support because I'm at wit's end now.