Hello NoFap, thanks for having me!

Hello NoFap.

Far from being alone in my struggles, after reading account after account on YBOP, NoFap and RebootNation, I realise that this epidemic is huge. The amount of men and women going through the same pain, the same struggles, the same fight, depression and despondency is not trivial. While I always knew the majority of men (and increasingly women) use pornography, the solitary nature of the struggle is something we desperately hide and shy away from.

To those who have shared their journey - my absolute gratitude and thanks. Your stories are the one thing that can counter the dopamine snap and fall from grace that stares at me from billboards, magazines, tv, movies, internet and women walking the streets. Reading someone else’s successful journey about freedom from PMO and twisted sexuality reminds me that hundreds have trodden this path, and above all that one can be free.

I have fought this battle for as long as I have practiced PMO, and have been brutally honest with myself, friends, mentors and wife about the struggle, but the honesty has always been met with awkward silence or worse, trite advice. The longest streak I have managed before relapse in the past was over 100 days.

One of the most disheartening thought patterns over my 20 years of struggling with PMO was that there was no hope, that I’d never be able to beat the addiction, that I’d be forever falling and out of control, that it was completely up to me - but in community and honesty there is an immense power. This community is a blessing to many, and I hope to contribute in the same way to help others.

This is my journal: Fear and Loathing in Manhood

For the record, I'm over 40 days PMO free and nearly a week into hardmode. The hardmode target is 90 days, and my wife is supportive of this. The reason going hardmode is important for me is because my perception of God, sexuality, self worth, self esteem, true intimacy and living unselfishly has been so warped by PMO and our cultural view of sexuality, that I believe total abstinence is necessary to truly reset. I've had too many experiences in the past where I've become complacent and fallen back into bad habits after a good run of being PMO free. I've done a serious amount of thinking about PMO and sexuality over the years, and I'm keen to share thoughts with you all. Please get in touch.

Stu

 

Thanks @change9412 - appreciate your advice. Will certainly keep you updated!
Hello @Jim2015, I'll certainly check out your journal and get to know your story. The honesty of the community is profound, and I hope to get to know other people struggling on this journey. Thanks for your welcome, encouragement and advice - please feel free to follow my journal thread, as I'll be updating it regularly.

Stu