Hello there

Hi, i'm new (duh)
I learnt about nofap due to eastern medicine, then surfed the internets and found that there was an actual movement besides it, tried many times in the past year, longest I endured, 17 days, and It was a very powerful sensation, in fact too powerful to handle it, I felt like i'd lost all my patience, and I'd got angry in a snap, pure temper, besides that, the sensation was wonderful.

I'd have problems with pornography since I was about 17, some days I used to end up literally sweating like I'd been under some heavy rain and even passing out sometimes.
It became a daily need, like water or food, not being able to sleep without it.

I'd only been with an actual woman twice (no wonder with such habit) ....
Never paid for sex, not because I haven't be tempted, but some weird moral principle always stopped me.
I've always, and when I say always, I meant it, a predilection for rough/painful sex videos....then stumbled on rape hentai, and always tried to find the most abusive videos as I could get my hands on, odd part of this, BDSM never appealed to me, quite the opposite.

I say predilection, because vanilla and gentle videos also give me some big arousal.

Fast forward to the last 5 months, I started to get aroused with Femdom videos, wich, considering what I said before it became utterly weird and without an logical explanation. The hentai part went to crossgender stuff, again found myself aroused but confused. This didn't stop from enjoying the usual stuff though.

Last month, stumbled upon some videos, gorgeous girls, it started as some normal femdom stuff, yesterday I did things I will ever regret....I snapped

I'm having a full on anakin moment


The only thing I can say is, I'll do my best to not even open a pornsite from today on...but I'm in panic mode and completly confused and disgusted, I knew that I've always been a sick sicko, but not this much...

HELP, please...