Hello...

Hello, I decided to join NoFap today because I have never been satisfied with my sex life. I am 21 years old, and I have never orgasmed from intercourse. While my other college friends are off going on dates and getting laid at parties, I pretend to not be interested in girls or sex for fear that I would disappoint any female. When I was 17, I started to browse Craigslist for casual sex. I was afraid that I would actually orgasm too quickly (I was a virgin, and a masturbation session was like 2 minutes) so I didn't want to ruin any real relationships I had at school. When I had my first encounter, with a 35 yr old woman (I was 17), I realized that the vagina to me was not nearly as stimulating as my hand, and that the actual feeling of my hand touching my penis was part of what made me orgasm. That was incredibly confusing to me at the time, I knew I had a sexual drive but when it came to actual intercourse, I felt next to nothing.

I have actually tried giving up porn and masturbation in the past, but it is the feeling of losing control that drives me crazy with sexual energy. Every day I abstain adds to these urges. I don't want to get too into this now, but I have kinks that involve the woman taking over in the bedroom while I lay there helpless. To my brain, masturbation is an escape from expectation, where all my deep seeded sexual worries go away.

I apologize for the long, rambling, irrational post, but I feel this is necessary for me to change the way I think about sex. I have never talked about this even with my closest of friends, so any advice for this confused college kid would be greatly appreciated

 

Thank you, D.J.! There are alot of great tips on there that I will definitely use. The advice that addiction can come in different forms, such as joking with you, is especially helpful, as alot of the time I think I am in complete control when I am certainly not. In an effort to increase my penis sensitivity from dryness, I have been rubbing shea butter on it twice a day. Would you recommend against this, as a potential trigger?