Hello

Hi everybody. I'm 37 and I'm here because I really need help. I have to admit that I have a serious problem with masturbation. I've suffered from depression and anxiety, and unfortunately there's a strong link between those problems and masturbation. I'll try to be concise since my story is too long. I use masturbation as an escape for my problems. I recently broke up with a girl I was dating. I started nofap about two years ago. I have stopped fapping for periods of 7, 15, 30 days, and my best score was when I abstained from masturbation for 112 days (that was more than a year ago). But I usually relapse when I have a problem that affects me emotionally. It seems that fapping is the only way I have to deal with my problems, but I don't want to live like that. Before meeting this girl I was dating I was on my day 27. Then sex came and everything was going well. But I also have another problem, and it's the fact that I don't know how to choose wisely when it comes to girls. I've been trapped in a pattern. I always attract to my life girls who are promiscuous. I know this has to do with me, and I'm not trying to play the victim. I know that there are some things related to my childhood, but I haven't found the way to go deep inside with those things. I broke up with this girl, and after that I started fapping like crazy, watching porn, bringing to my mind all the stuff that I used to do with her in bed. I'm here because I need help, and I don't know if someone in this community has dealt with similar issues. In general I'm a normal guy. I work as a graphic designer (I design books, and I also teach graphic design in my town). I like working out and I like to take care of my self, eating healthy, learning new things every day, trying to do my best with my 15 year old daughter (I'm divorced but I have always been in contact with my daugther). I want to get the best version of myself, but I struggle with my emotions, my relationships, and when I have to face financial or relationship problems, that's something that makes me fall in the same mistakes over and over again. I know this girl is not good for me, but I miss her and think about her all the time, and then I end up fapping like 5 or 7 times a day, it's like a drug. But I really want to change this, and I think that I have the power to change it. I want to go to a therapist but I don't have the money now to pay for it because I'm in debt. Psychiatry is not a solution for me since I have lived my life normally without any kind of medication. I just have a problem with this, and I know there's a way to fix it. Well, this is all for now, and I hope this can give you an overview of my problem. I would like to know if someone has recovered from something similar. As you can see my problem is the link between masturbation and emotional issues. Sometimes I struggle with insomnia, and I always end up fapping when I can't sleep. I appreciate your comments.

 

Thanks so much, your message is really helpful

 

Thank you for your message, D.J. I usually watch videos about the benefits of NoFap, and also the negative effects of compulsive masturbation.