Hello

I squandered off 3 minutes trying to think up a title and finally settled on Hello. Now i am heavily indecisive and have come to hate myself for that. I am at a crossroads as far as my masturbation addiction is concerned and I had bookmarked a reddit page about a guy thinking of killing himself because of his addiction and reading that through, I got here.

Firstly, I felt kind of happy knowing there are people out there who have conquered the habit, and yes its a habit for me. There are times when I dont really want to masturbate yet I force myself to do it. Its like I have to wank off X times a day to feel normal and now I am numb and in a really bad place as far as my mind is concerned. I feel heavily burnt up and I cant think straight and I blame my fapping for it.

I was never addicted to it, but over the past few months I have become heavily addicted. I first started fapping off when I was 12 or so and I still remember feeling scared the first time I came. I thought I would die. It would have been good if I had, but I Lived on and here I am regretting the first time I wanked off and survived.

I have tried to go without fapping and I survived for 3 days like 2 months back and then I restarted it with a vengeance. This is the latest of my many attempts at stopping fapping. The maximum I have wanked off in a day is like 10, and the maximum time I spent fapping was like 5 hours on a stretch. I search internet porn forums and waste hours and hours everyday and go without adding any valuable addition to my life. I am scared, and I want to beat this. I dont know what more to say, But I want to beat this.

 

Thank you brother! Thanks for the videos, I will be going through them all. I hope to find the strength and fight the good fight.

 

I just relapsed and fapped 3 times in an hour. I feel guilty, I feel like I failed, But I will win this over. I am not giving up, Ever.