Hello!

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by NMIE, Dec 2, 2016.

  1. NMIE

    NMIE Fapstronaut

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    Hey people! First of all, i'd like to let you know im not eng. speaker so its not easy for me to use this language but i hope u will understand everything :)

    I registered to this site bcos i found it much helpful in case of M and P... i started to M when i was 14 yo (its like 9 years now)... and though i tried to quit many times, i relapsed every single time and got back into the routine. I have never quit for more than about 1week or so... if would someone tell me i can quit it for like 1 month or so, i would probably call him a fool...

    Later in my life (about 15 or 16 yo - about 8 years now) i started to watch porn videos. Of course, firstly it was just some soft strip or softcore ones but as u all know, by the time i needed more and more... for the same brain stimulation. I was not such regular porn user. I use to watch like maybe 3-5times a month or so... you know... i was not that kind of guy that watch porn almost everyday... but still it was pretty enough to build a kind of addiction. Of course, if i watched porn, mostly it was not a matter of few minutes... i used to spent even couple of hours clicking, searching, watching...

    I case of M, i used to do it almost everyday, sometimes a few times a day... of course, i could quit for like 2-4 days... but as i mentoined before, my longest break was max for like 1 week... at the beginning it was mostly to my personal fantasies, but as you all probably know, the more porn i got into my brain, the less own fantasies i could think of...

    I remember, once in my life, maybe 2-3 years ago, i quit P for few months. I felt better but i was still fapping much and watched many P-subs that lead me to P again :( since that time, i was not able to quit for that long time. But then, sometimes in my life changed a bit...

    I accidentaly found a vide of guy talking about why he quit Porn (totaly) and even masturbation for few months. He mentioned all those benefits and stuff... and there was links to this site and also to YBOP site and reddit in the vid description... that was a huge stimul for me! I figured out, quitting P and M could be something like challenge! I love challenges and when i found community of many people that quit porn and M, stories... you know.. once i found out there is a community of people challenging theirselfs this way, it kicked me out and i told to myself, i must try it too! That was huge motivation for me.

    This happened few weeks ago. So even though i used to masturbate elmost everyday and also watch porn, i decided to quit instantly.

    Do you know how i deal with that? Well i quit just for 7 days with masturbation. For few couple of days it was not much difficult for me but then, on the day 7 i got huge urge... i went on internet and searched for some tips of why not to masturbate, some motivation stuff... and do you know what i found. I dont know how, but i found people (many women ofc) discussing about masturbation benefits, about how they love it, about some great techniques etc... of course, i couldnt keep my eyes out of it. I started to play with my cock... i didnt want to know to search for porn... but i just felt uncontrollable need of M... and while i was still "playing" i just jerked off /im not sure, is this the right term for ejaculation? :D/

    I felt so bad.. i felt like the whole 1week was for nothing. I masturbated few more times that day, but without porn...

    On the other day i decided i have to start again. I learned something from this relapse. I must be very careful using internet and try to not even touch the dick... it can lead to huge relapse.

    Now it is my 12th day without masturbation. To be honest its probably the hardest day. Today i feel much horny but im determined not to fail again. Not today! And same tomorrow, and other days.... Now i know what caused my first relapse...

    I know its not much but if anybody tells me i can stand without masturbation for 12 days i'd say its not possible for me... its just 12 days but for me its like climbing a month everest. Its extremely hard for me no to seach for porn and even not to masturbate. You see that hot girls everywhere. Your own fantasies and giant database of porn movies still fights against you. Even not sex-related situations sometimes brings me to thinking about porn. I think its a sign my brain is pretty damaged and needs recovery.... But i dont wanna fail again...

    In case of porn, im not really sure when i watched it lastly, but it was probably about 3 weeks ago...

    So this is it for now... i wish you all the best. Im sure we can win our fight.
     
    JWI and D . J . like this.
  2. D . J .

    D . J . Fapstronaut

    Welcome to NoFap! You are amongst friends who are here to encourage you and not judge you.

    What are your current strategies for combating the enemy called PMO?
     
  3. NMIE

    NMIE Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for your commentary.

    What is my current strategy? Well idk if its really a strategy but i know why i want to quit PM and also i know what lead me to PM most of time... si keep in mind the reasons and avoid the causes...
     
    D . J . likes this.
  4. D . J .

    D . J . Fapstronaut

    Here is a growing collection of startup strategies compiled from myself and I've added some from others on NoFap. Keep these in mind. This is by no means a be-all-end-all list of suggestions but it is a list for you to use and add to for yourself and modify to meet your needs.
    1. Delete all of the P that you have from your computer and smartphone including the browser history and cookies. This will not stop you but will slow you down.
    2. Identify your triggers. What are the things that you happening in your world to cause you to turn to PMO for escape and comfort! This is the most crucial step in the process.
    3. Once your triggers are identified, determine healthy ways of dealing with those triggers such as exercise, running, leaving the stressful situation and going outside for air.
    4. Follow this link to find out what NoFap is about. Within this link is a link to a glossary of terms commonly used on NoFap. This will help you communicate knowledgeably and more effectively. https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/newbies-list-of-rebooting-resources.50878/
    5. Go to http://yourbrainonporn.com/ to learn more about the effect PMO has on you. Do this also to educate yourself on the damage you are doing to yourself.
    6. Guard your eyes. Be careful of what you allow yourself to see. No, you cannot live with your eyes closed but you can determine how long you look at something. If you know it may cause you to fall, flee from it! Run in the other direction, sometimes that need to be literal.
    7. Stop placing yourself in situations where the situation has leverage over you. That means stop placing yourself where you know you may get weak and either give in at the moment or later on.
    8. When you see yourself beginning to be in a bad situation (ex. alone with a computer and horny), say what you feel or know you are about to do or likely to do so you can hear yourself say it. (Ex. "I'm alone in a room [with a computer] and I'm feeling lonely [or whatever the emotion is] and horny and I want to [watch watch porn and] masturbate but if I do that, I will have lost the progress I've made". By hearing you say what you are about to do, you may realize the price you pay is not worth what you will receive in return.
    9. Masturbation... do not keep your hands to yourself. Unless you are bathing, changing your underwear or actually using the bathroom, your hands should be nowhere near your penis. YOU ARE BANNED FROM TOUCHING YOUR PENIS FOR RECREATION!!! IT IS NOT A TOY!!!
    10. Your bed is limited to only the time you are sleeping. No laying in bed other than that. As soon you awake, you should get out of bed. Can't sleep, if awake for more than a few minutes, get out of bed until you are sleepy enough to go to sleep.
    11. Keep doors open unless necessary. You need to be isolated as little as possible. You're less likely to M when people can see you.
    12. Keep curtains and blinds open as much as possible. Similar reason as above and also allows light inside. Many time M'ing is more likely in dark places.
    13. At night, keep lights on as often as possible. Similar to above, lights on may lessen your desire to fap.
    14. If you are a naked sleeper or a boxer sleeper, consider sleeping in a in jockstrap, cup or briefs or compression shorts, something more constrictive so that you are less likely to feel movement while falling asleep or when awaking. They may provide a better barrier to prevent those that subconsciously reach for their penis at night or in the morning. They may also be a visual barrier for those that have morning erections too irresistible to not touch.
    15. Begin a journal so that others can encourage you and connect with you.
    16. Become active in this community. The more active you are, the less time you will spend focused on you. The less time focused solely on you, the faster time goes. There is an old saying, "a watched pot of water doesn't boil any faster", which means for this example, focusing solely on yourself and your issues won't make them go away sooner. It's OK to track progress but when spending more time doing other things that were once important to you and encouraging others, you will notice the time of your sobriety will go so much faster than if you didn't.
    17. Remember that whatever you feed will grow and whatever you starve will eventually die! Each time you PMO you feed the addiction, each time you resist, you starve the addiction.
    This a journey. Unless you began your addiction yesterday, don't expect to have complete victory by tomorrow. It takes time. We are here for you for as long as it takes.
     

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