BrandoCommando
New Fapstronaut
I tried to write a post earlier but was kicked off line...So I'm going to make this as short as possible.
I masturbate alot, of course, less than when I was younger but more than most people I think. Like many here I think it's fair to say I'm addicted to porn. Even when I have girlfriends I still watch porn. For the past 2 years however my life has changed dramatically as I have been single and sober due to being deployed, which I am currently still deployed. This extended period of being single has led to more and more porn which has become more and more "abnormal"- as in it is very different from sex I would have in real life. As a result I have been watching a mix of gay, straight, bi, transwoman, bdsm, and other kink or taboo porn. I don't find myself actually attracted to any of it so much as I just need to see something new. Something other than crappy storyline>oral sex> fake moaning> sex> moneyshot>the end. I see this being a problem because it doesn't align with my actual desires and the longer I'm out here the more frequent this style of porn and thoughts come to me. I now think about sex/porn constantly and its aggravating. I feel that I need to stop watching porn and stop masturbating but I'm afraid if I do the thoughts will only become stronger and more intrusive. I want to "get a grip" on my life and take back control, but the longer I'm sober and the more I contemplate back on my life I don't think I have ever had control of this situation. As a result I have had ED, body image issues, self-esteem issues, numerous-nameless-faceless-sexual encounters including a few I didn't want to happen, but did anyways because I wanted to feel a certain "slutty" kind of way. I guess what I'm getting at is, I see alot of ppl here who have this similar addiction, but where do I go from here?
I masturbate alot, of course, less than when I was younger but more than most people I think. Like many here I think it's fair to say I'm addicted to porn. Even when I have girlfriends I still watch porn. For the past 2 years however my life has changed dramatically as I have been single and sober due to being deployed, which I am currently still deployed. This extended period of being single has led to more and more porn which has become more and more "abnormal"- as in it is very different from sex I would have in real life. As a result I have been watching a mix of gay, straight, bi, transwoman, bdsm, and other kink or taboo porn. I don't find myself actually attracted to any of it so much as I just need to see something new. Something other than crappy storyline>oral sex> fake moaning> sex> moneyshot>the end. I see this being a problem because it doesn't align with my actual desires and the longer I'm out here the more frequent this style of porn and thoughts come to me. I now think about sex/porn constantly and its aggravating. I feel that I need to stop watching porn and stop masturbating but I'm afraid if I do the thoughts will only become stronger and more intrusive. I want to "get a grip" on my life and take back control, but the longer I'm sober and the more I contemplate back on my life I don't think I have ever had control of this situation. As a result I have had ED, body image issues, self-esteem issues, numerous-nameless-faceless-sexual encounters including a few I didn't want to happen, but did anyways because I wanted to feel a certain "slutty" kind of way. I guess what I'm getting at is, I see alot of ppl here who have this similar addiction, but where do I go from here?
