HELP: Dont enough willpower to obtain from p.. what to do?

BMW-6er

BMW-6er

Fapstronaut
Hello dear reader,
I am struggling with PMO for many man years. I am on nofap.com since Sep 2015 and my highest streak were 50 days of PMO. I accomplished these 50 days just because I locked up my mobile and my laptop in the library. Very time I had to use my phone or the Internet, I went to the library.

Actually if I have the laptop or the phone in the house, it takes 0-1 day until I fail again. I have absolutely no willpower or the strength to be along the path. If I got the slightest thought about an special fantasies or a erotic image, I usually Google it and fap. I actually has no reason why I shouldn't fap in that moment before I relapse. All the good reasons came directly after the pmo session.

How do you control your behavior if these thoughts appears? What helps to fight against these thoughts?
 
BMW-6er said:
Hello dear reader,
I am struggling with PMO for many man years. I am on nofap.com since Sep 2015 and my highest streak were 50 days of PMO. I accomplished these 50 days just because I locked up my mobile and my laptop in the library. Very time I had to use my phone or the Internet, I went to the library.

Actually if I have the laptop or the phone in the house, it takes 0-1 day until I fail again. I have absolutely no willpower or the strength to be along the path. If I got the slightest thought about an special fantasies or a erotic image, I usually Google it and fap. I actually has no reason why I shouldn't fap in that moment before I relapse. All the good reasons came directly after the pmo session.

How do you control your behavior if these thoughts appears? What helps to fight against these thoughts?
Click to expand...

Rebooting and limiting arousal is only the first step in overcoming porn addiction. The second step is to replace the time, energy, and attention you spent on porn with positive activities, especially sexual ones.

Rebooting for 60-90 days causes the neurons in your brain that react to porn to literally shrivel up and die; you seem to have done this multiple times, so great job on that regard. However, there are many "empty" spots in your brain where those porn-wired neurons used to reside. If you don't engage in any positive activities to "rewire" your brain, it will remain susceptible to getting re-addicted.

Since pretty much everyone slips up and goes back to porn at some point, you have to plan ahead and fill your brain with neurons that react to positive activities. Great ways to do this are to exercise regularly/eat healthy, socialize frequently, and work towards your educational/career goals. However, the best way to rewire your brain is through positive sexual encounters, which include everything on the spectrum from flirting, to dating, to kissing, to cuddling, and especially sex. Engaging in these activities build up neural networks wired to real rewarding activities, so when you eventually slip up and go back to porn, there isn't as much room for it to take a foothold; over time, as long as you keep having sex, there will be less and less room for porn, so your brain will find it less rewarding, to the point where you won't even want to use it.

Congrats on a good reboot, but its time to rewire with positive activities, especially sex. YBOP has great articles about this:

see rebooting basics page

Do I have to have sex in order to rewire?

Will stopping porn solve my problems?

How do I know when I’m back to normal?

Why is intermittent use (long abstinence with binges) an addiction risk?

Porn FAQs
 
Thank you so much for your time and your beneficial tips. Replace the bad with the good, sounds logical. Also thank you for the links.
But there is still a question which I would like to ask you.

What do you do, if a simple dirty thought appears and stuck in you mind. Usually this thought get so strong that it manifest itself and causes that I search for that sinful fantasies... do you know that I mean? What do you do if some filthy old p scene appears and stuck in your brain?
 
If these thoughts follow you through the day, or day by day than it gets 10 times harder to refuse pmo...
 
BMW-6er said:
Thank you so much for your time and your beneficial tips. Replace the bad with the good, sounds logical. Also thank you for the links.
But there is still a question which I would like to ask you.

What do you do, if a simple dirty thought appears and stuck in you mind. Usually this thought get so strong that it manifest itself and causes that I search for that sinful fantasies... do you know that I mean? What do you do if some filthy old p scene appears and stuck in your brain?
Click to expand...

Ignore them or do things to make them go away.

Exercise is one of the best. Your mind needs to take away attention from the porn thoughts and direct them towards moving your body. Walking/running also recycles blood from the groin, making erections and swelling go away.

if you have thoughts then try and just take a little walk. Don't go on your phone, just try and concentrate on the shit around you, even if you're inside. Doing this also tells your brain "if you think about porn I'm gonna shut the whole thing down", and your mind will adapt and remember it less over time.

Talking with someone and socializing with friends is also really good. Your mind just can't process both, and chooses the talking to focus on instead. Hanging out with friends or a partner also releases chemicals that block dopamine, which powers your addiction. Either of those is great for quelling urges
 
Read/listen to the PMO adaptation of Allen Carr's book. One of the main focuses is not using willpower.
 
BMW-6er said:
Hello dear reader,
I am struggling with PMO for many man years. I am on nofap.com since Sep 2015 and my highest streak were 50 days of PMO. I accomplished these 50 days just because I locked up my mobile and my laptop in the library. Very time I had to use my phone or the Internet, I went to the library.

Actually if I have the laptop or the phone in the house, it takes 0-1 day until I fail again. I have absolutely no willpower or the strength to be along the path. If I got the slightest thought about an special fantasies or a erotic image, I usually Google it and fap. I actually has no reason why I shouldn't fap in that moment before I relapse. All the good reasons came directly after the pmo session.

How do you control your behavior if these thoughts appears? What helps to fight against these thoughts?
Click to expand...
So you are finding yourself in a certain dead-end circumstance at this time in your life, right? I quote you were you once stated, "No matter where you are, the all-powerful God will listen if you speak to him. Ask him to show you the right path."

.
 
BMW-6er said:
Thank you so much for your time and your beneficial tips. Replace the bad with the good, sounds logical. Also thank you for the links.
But there is still a question which I would like to ask you.

What do you do, if a simple dirty thought appears and stuck in you mind. Usually this thought get so strong that it manifest itself and causes that I search for that sinful fantasies... do you know that I mean? What do you do if some filthy old p scene appears and stuck in your brain?
Click to expand...
The thing you absolutely must do is to cast out that dirty thought as soon as you recognize it for what it is. Essentially, as soon as you realize that you just had a dirty thought you are faced with a choice. That is the moment to reject it and put your mind on something better. Tell yourself "NO! I will NOT waste time on filthy thoughts!" and move on to thinking about your gardening project, the next book you will read, or whatever else that comes to mind of a positive nature.

If you allow yourself to continue thinking those dirty thoughts, they move from the category of "temptation" to the category of "lust." Once you entertain lustful thoughts, your bodily passions will be awakened and clamor for attention. If your willpower is weak, you will have an almost impossible struggle once your passions are aroused. You cannot afford to have this happen--so you must reject the unwanted thoughts at the earliest moment possible. And make it a habit.

See the tips linked in my signature for more ideas for how to resist.

I hope this helps.
 
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