Help!!!!!!!! I am a Sissy addicted to everyrhing

Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by Sackstor, Jan 18, 2019.

  1. Sackstor

    Sackstor Fapstronaut

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    So lets just say I am married and have kids. Over the past bunch of years ive been addicted to sissy porn and have acted on it many times.
    I have wondered into this type as well as big black cock. I find myself fixating on huge cock which i never dis before. Ive have also trained my ass to where I can take very large dildos. I can take just about all of a dick rambone. And can take all of BAM dildo and when loosened up a 3 inch wide 12 inch long king cock.

    I am addicted to dressing like a woman, wig, bra, fake g cup boobs bras, panties, garterbelt , stockings and short tight mini skirts and dresses. Dressing like a total slut with either red or pink lipstick.

    I have acted on this and have gone fully dressed with 4 inch red heels to an adult store and have sucked and fuxked many different men . safe play is a must, but I can handle very very large penises. When home, I wait until all are sleep and go online and watch all kinds of porn and especially other woman masturbating. I love when they use over sized dildos as well.

    I love people watching me fuck my ass and fap. Poppers add another level of intensity. I feel like I have become a complete animal that thinks he is a slutty woman that is ready for cock anytime.

    I do not have a sexual relationship with my wife. When that staryed several years ago, I used porn to masturbate and feel better. Fast forward 5 years and now I am a sexual freak.

    I find myself searching for 42g cup bras and matching thongs all the time. Red with black lace is by far my favorite.

    I hide all of this from my wife. The thing I hate the most is how excited I get thinking about performing for folks be it online at an adult cam site, or going to a local adult store and acting out.

    I have no idea where to begin and need help gettong through this.

    HELP ME PLEASE!!!!!
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 24, 2019
    Deleted Account likes this.
  2. I'm a huge advocate of opening up to your wife, there are two of you in this relationship, even if she doesn't know yet. She is likely suffering and blaming herself.
    As for yourself, read here and learn, stay away from PMO for 90 days and see where your mind is then.
     
    vxlccm likes this.
  3. swagzenegger

    swagzenegger Fapstronaut

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    hi.
    I know the kind of videos u have been watching.. are the sissy training videos with vocal instructions and binaural waves. If what u say is true, Im afraid that the videos you have been watching might have affected your brain. I watched a few of these videos before, they gave me a strange feeling, I never had before watching porn. I observed these kind of videos and noticed the way they where made. The pulsating lights, the images, the binaural beats, they all had a strong effect on the watcher. I was scared and shocked to see that they where trying to convert man into these "sissy man", they where like a hypnosis programming video. I started to google around and found out that these videos with these specific effects, especially the binaural waves has a strong effect on the limbic part of the brain. Especially when associated with orgasms or other strong emotions they have a strong affect on your brain, rewiring and reprograming your subconscious, its some kind of hypnossis. Now that I heard your story(if it is true or not..), I'm thinking they really work...

    My advice.. If it is serious(sounds likely) u need to consult with a proffesionist, a psycologyst or smthing about sexual dissorders. abstain from porn or any other fantasy, no matter what your are thinking. Learn to meditate (it strengthens your mind and less likely to be affected by those), keep yourself occupied, start running do sports and most importantly be opened and honest with your wife.

    sorry for bad english.
     
  4. Mckell

    Mckell Fapstronaut

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    It is the addiction and not you. You have opened up about being in a very dark place, we have been there too. You are not who your addicted brain is telling you who you are. Get some distance from the porn and things WILL become clear. There are many of us who look back on the insanity of our acting out- you are not alone in this
     
  5. Sackstor

    Sackstor Fapstronaut

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    It seems so hard to overco.e.
     
  6. +TenPercent

    +TenPercent Fapstronaut

    Thank you for sharing this - it shows me where I could end up if my addiction were to run wild (though I am more of a cuck and would want to act out my big cock obsession through my gf)

    There’s been some good advice already and I agree that your best net for getting this under control is:
    1. Tell someone that you trust and who has your best interest at heart (if you can tell your wife that would be great!) - keeping this a secret only makes it worse
    2. Take a long, long break from porn and masturbation

    Best of luck to you!!
     
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  7. RamboErecto

    RamboErecto Fapstronaut

    The porn has the guilt. So take care of that business.
     
  8. Todor

    Todor Fapstronaut


    Friend, you have to start from the beginning. Like from the very, very beginning - when you were 5 years old and go through your entire life. Would you be able to reflect on your past, especially your childhood, your parents, any sexual traumas, other addictions in the family? Everything matters. Please take time to write in details.
     
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  9. Blue Gemini

    Blue Gemini Fapstronaut

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    Agree 100% with this advice, when I have urges with this fetish the times I’m able to overcome them are when I can remember a trauma or bad memory associated with the urge. As for relapse I ask myself what was going on what was I doing not doing and what else did it remind me of. My relapse yesterday helped me get to a very core trauma that is helping me resist the urges I’m feeling today. I know my addiction to this fetish is out of a desire to self destruct. Because deep down there is part of me that doesn’t feel I deserve a good life. But the part of me that signed up for nofap must think otherwise. You wouldn’t have come here if you didn’t believe that you deserved better either.
     
  10. Sackstor

    Sackstor Fapstronaut

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    Divorced parents at 4 years old. I was into wearing my moms pantyhose as long as i can remember. Lived the tightness and feeling of wearing the pantyhose. I still like the feeling but now with garterbelt .

    I found out an interesting fact from my mom several yrs ago, I had to get my asshole stretched by the doctor for some medical reason. I know now why i like the feeling of my duldos in my ass. Its weird how it goes back to an early childhood thing. I dont understand why I like to wear womans ckothing and watch sissy porn. I guess it makes me feel wanted and desired.
    Every now and then I do go fully dressed to the adult gloryhole place and act out on my desires.

    BY THE WAY THIS IS DAY 2 OF NO PORN !!!!!!
     
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  11. Sackstor

    Sackstor Fapstronaut

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    I still dont understand why i love sexy lingerie ..i love looking at all the different sexy looks. I guess I use it as a trigger so i better stop looking at them
     
  12. Blue Gemini

    Blue Gemini Fapstronaut

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    I would suspect that the root of your issues may lie more with the divorce of your parents. What kind of woman was your mother? Was she a loving nurturing person or was she more dominant and authoritative? My mother was a dominant abuser who had mental issues along with substance abuse problems. My parents marriage ended when I was young about 8 or 9 years old I was. For many of us afflicted with this fetish the common thread was a dominant or abusive female authority figure. Or a broken home with no consistent male role model. Congrats on 2 days porn free!
     
  13. Sackstor

    Sackstor Fapstronaut

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    Her family was fairly well off. No abuse or dominant stuff from her. Pretty normal woman. Beautiful though ..growing up all were like man your mother is so pretty. I am windering why I like the crossdressing stuff so much...
     
  14. Sackstor

    Sackstor Fapstronaut

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  15. Sackstor

    Sackstor Fapstronaut

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    I am here because like you I dont want to continue down this path. Even though I love it while I am doing it . i wonder why I like to be such an exhibitionist?? The folks that watch me, the more turned on I get. There is a lot of stuff going on here. Wow. This is very helpful to talk about it with everyone and trying to figure things out.

    Thank you thank you thankyou from the bottom of my ❤
     
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  16. swagzenegger

    swagzenegger Fapstronaut

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    congratz on day 2. I guess this is your begining. keep it up, remeber its all in your brain. Your past traumas or experiences my lead to this, its deep inside your brain. Its curable but its not easy. From your posts that I have read it looks like it has deep roots from childhood. try recalling everything and most importantly try meditating, it really helps to strengthen your mind and keep the urges at bay. What your are doing is not Ok AT ALL, no matter what your mind is telling you, its gona be a taugh fight but its worth it.
    good luck.
     
  17. Sackstor

    Sackstor Fapstronaut

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    Thank you for your support... Is it wrong,g tha5 i want to wear lingerie???
     
  18. +TenPercent

    +TenPercent Fapstronaut

    Maybe one reason that you are attracted to crossdressing is that your mother got so much attention and approval for being beautiful?? (just an idea)
    I would not be surprised if there were over a million men in the world with this fetish (that would make it about 1 in 4000)
    I think I have some major and some minor reasons for having similar desires. Domineering mother was one of them. But not having a lot of male figures in my life I think was a major reason - I was expected to act like a male, but I had no brothers, no uncles, and my father worked all the time, so who did I have to learn from? My mother and my sister.
    My older sister was considered to be very attractive and she was very popular in school while I was a nerd. Reading you post has me thinking . . . maybe that is part of the reason why I got into these things.

    Perhaps finding out why other people are into it might help you to understand it.

    That and staying away from porn. Congrats on day 2!!!
     
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  19. Thanks to everyone on this thread. NOBODY IS ALONE IN ANY OF THIS!
     
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  20. Narva

    Narva Fapstronaut

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    I have watched too that sissy porn. It is very addictive stuff. I have never done cross-dressing etc. But seem that way that I am in danger to do something like that... If I continue watch porn. Today has been hard, but I am pretty close to get "30 days without porn achievement". That was my mark.
    Anyway, fight on people, do your best. Like need2change16 wrote, no one is alone in this.
     
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