[HELP] I Don't Know If I Have Friends

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by sk07, Jul 8, 2018.

  1. sk07

    sk07 Fapstronaut

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    TL;DR
    If I keep going through friends and can't find one, then there has to be something wrong with me right?

    Full Version:
    Every time I get on a streak, I start to question if I have true friends. I'll try to explain the people in each group I think I'm more than acquaintances with:

    Group A (Hometown):
    -P was my childhood best friend. P strictly eats junk food. He admitted to me he doesn't eat vegetables or fruit. He justifies junk food by saying "I want to put on weight" because he's 130lbs at 5'8". When I suggest going to the gym with his uncle, who is a gym rat and can show him everything, he says he doesn't want to or he'll do it later but never does. Every time I visit him, we can only talk about the past because he has nothing new (been going on for about 2 years now). He sits in a dark room playing video games all day and doesn't want to get a job.
    -T was an altar boy with me. We are both interested in starting online businesses. When I text him about that, he responds. Any other time is unread or a BS excuse not to hang out like "I'm watching the world cup"

    Group B (College Suitemates):
    -This group doesn't include me in most of their activities and ignores me (especially in our group chat) until I call them out
    -D is/was my college best friend. We hung out every day last year and he helped me get through some sad times. This year, he got a GF and she's a sex addict so they bang 5 times a day. Now he ditches me to go bang, even if we're in the middle of something

    Conclusions:
    I've already ditched a different college friend group because they drink, smoke weed, and go to parties 4/7 days of the week. Clearly if I'm going through friend groups and can't find a fit, then it has to be a problem with me? And if I have to ask if they are friends, then they probably aren't, right?
     
  2. mmail6950

    mmail6950 Fapstronaut

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    I was in the navy for 14 years and sadly I have 0 friends. I push everyone away.
     
  3. sk07

    sk07 Fapstronaut

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    I'm trying to figure out how to fix the problem -.- but at least I'm not alone in having 0 friends
     
  4. mmail6950

    mmail6950 Fapstronaut

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    I would say just be honest with them.
     
  5. sk07

    sk07 Fapstronaut

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    I mean I tried telling P about self improvement but everything I tell him he rejects. I call my college 'friends' out on their BS
     
  6. WittLowryfan0915

    WittLowryfan0915 Fapstronaut

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    Lies. I'm your friend! Everyone who's on this forum or is a part of this community is your friend!
     
    Wario32 and Unflinching like this.
  7. Steve Sancteria

    Steve Sancteria Fapstronaut

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    Ive had the same problem that I didn't do anything with the friends I have, I started to visualize having fun with friends and stuff, several days later I've went to a festival for free by accident with a friend, even got free beer and met a lot of guys I already knew and some new people, partying around with everyone.

    What ever you focus on, you drag it into your life.
    Something some ppl here don't understand and keep focusing the evil of porn and how shitty their life is instead of what they really want.
     
    Unflinching likes this.
  8. Unflinching

    Unflinching Fapstronaut

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    Our Creator is our biggest Friend....pray to him to give you good friends.
    I think you should be true to yourself so that you will get some new friends.It will take time. Just try to meet guys you have acquaintances with, your past fellows etc.
    But don't cut off with the present ones. Tell them to change their routines. If they don't then okay, it will be their action. Just meet them and wait for them to call you.Some of them will come on the right track with you.
     
  9. sk07

    sk07 Fapstronaut

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    I should have mentioned in the original post that I'm losing patience with Group B (which is the closest I have right now). I tried opening up to them more to see if that was the problem and it backfired. I told them about trying NoFap and they said its stupid and doesn't work. Yet when I challenged one of them to do it, they gave up 2 weeks in. And not that anyone has told me anything different, but they said no to even start an online business because I'll fail. I'm just frustrated I don't have anyone to see in person that supports any of my actions.
     
  10. Steve Sancteria

    Steve Sancteria Fapstronaut

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    Trust me, trying to change people while being unexperienced in rethorics can pretty much destroy relationships. I recommend defining which kind of friends you wanna have in your life and then focusing on that, if you wanna super healthy friends that strive for success and push their comfort zone to do so, you better wanna figure out how you can become like that as well, cause like attracts alikes, the schoolyard is proving it over and over again
     
  11. sk07

    sk07 Fapstronaut

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    I'm definitely going to try to make new friends. As you said, I tried to get some of these people to join my self improvement journey, but they didn't want to come. Maybe I just haven't found the right people yet
     
  12. Steve Sancteria

    Steve Sancteria Fapstronaut

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    Just leave these guys, I would break up with anyone telling me what I can do or not.

    You gonna be a little bit lonely here and there if you wanna live the life of a winner cause the freakin 99% of the people rather wanna be the broken instead of being the breaker.
    Being paralyzed by that high information preasure, drugs like high sugar here, some weed there, fancy videos for free behind every corner and a mass missbelief that everyone is cursed to fail what ever they try to do, it's no wonder if you turn into a lauzy zombie if you let the modern world do with your brain what it wants.

    The sad thing is, ppl are happy and satisfied being average, it's not your job to use all your energy to change them, it's your responsibility to use your energy to proof yourself that they've been wrong and deserve to be out of your reach.
     
  13. Steve Sancteria

    Steve Sancteria Fapstronaut

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    But honestly, I've been talking about NoFap with my friends as well and no one was thinking about doing it as well, someone specifically surrendered in 4 days and just said, that's it I just need the flesh and let my sexuality go wild, but yet he thought it's been impressive that I've been in for 2 months.

    You don't convince people by telling them what to do, you convince them by what you do, what you gain from it and the more you have what they want, the more they wanna know how you did it and how they can do as well.
     
  14. sk07

    sk07 Fapstronaut

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    I wasn't trying to convince them to do it. When they said it was stupid, I gave them reasons why I'm doing it like having more energy, and clearer mind. And when they said it doesn't work, that's when I challenged them to try it
     
  15. Player 1

    Player 1 Fapstronaut

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    Better be alone than in a bad company.

    I'm also friendless, my advice is you shouldn't bother with reckless or self-unaware people. You can do better by self improving alone, you have plenty of time to give to yourself.
     
  16. JakeO5

    JakeO5 Fapstronaut

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    For me a true friend is someone who actually cares about you, like you man, you are a true friend to those people you mentioned, because you actually started a thread on a forum full of strangers to ask who are a true friend and wow man that's inspiring,,, true friends understand you, they ask you why you are upset, they will ditch there gfs to hangout with you,,, i currently have one best friend, we never hangout because of his gf, but the best part is, i don't give a flying [email protected] #k he actually doesn't have any other friends, and me neither so it doesn't bother me,, but I grew up in a big familyish house, my father didn't had friends or my mother, i think the older we get, the further your friends go away, they have wives, houses, work, they don't have time for us, go to a retirement home and ask some of those guys when was the last time they had a friend, you will be surprised,,, but my advice is, it's probably gonna take a long time, get a gf, marry her, get kids with her, and they will be your friends forever
     
  17. I don't know about the rest of it, but this is a move I regret to this day not making. Instead, I joined them and ended up dropping out of college. It shows me you have self-direction. What about identifying a vocational interest, because you will soon be entering the work world, or go for advanced education, and using this group to learn about your future work or education? You'd meet people there with this common vocational interest.
     
  18. sk07

    sk07 Fapstronaut

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    I'm planning on joining clubs when I get back to college, so I got that covered. I'll also try to talk to people in the gym. I hear that's a good place to talk to people.
     
  19. sk07

    sk07 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for this!

    It doesn't matter that out growing all your friends happens to the majority of people, it's not what I want. I want both a family and life long friends. I don't see any good reason you can't be married and have family friends
     
  20. Seven_

    Seven_ Fapstronaut

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    Prove them wrong, start your bussines by yourself. Bet ya they'll like you then but it will be late.
    Btw There are no bussiness friends there are bussiness partners.
     

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