Help. I really need Help!!!

Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by Seeking Beautiful Life, May 20, 2019.

  1. Seeking Beautiful Life

    Seeking Beautiful Life Fapstronaut

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    Hello,
    Hope you have a good day!
    I am addicted to P and M, sex phones for a long time (may be 15 years) (increased gradually over time).
    I am 28 and I am engaged to a 26-year very lovely girl. She is very nice and kind and I do love her. She loves me a lot.
    I am in a country in which no sex allowed before marriage. so both of us are virgin. we are getting married in 3 months.
    I do decreased my PM from 3 months ago,
    but after get deeply involved emotionally to my fiancee (without any kind of physical contacts except holding hands), I am very very horny especially while lying in bed at night. This month I had very long hours of PM. Sex Phones returned.
    I am feeling very bad because 1- my fiancee is very kind and caring and I love her and deserves someone devoted to her (without cheating). 2- heavy financial burden of Porn (many Mobile Internet Packages), Sex phones (money sent to sluts).
    I am very very frustrated.
    How should I do when I feel very horny? Please I need someone to help me. Please help me to stop PM/Phones so I can start real healthy life with my fiancee.
     
  2. HecTormoku

    HecTormoku Fapstronaut

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    Don't even allow yourself to O until your head is completely PM free. Nothing S related, and let me tell start with a simple question: why are you engaged with your fiancee? You're about to fuse your way of life with another person, she deserves to have a healthy man, I'm sure we can agree in that, so this is more about your motivation to finally get rid of PMO and those phone calls.
    Ask yourself: what are you really looking in those calls? Is it something your fiancee can't give you? And when you two get married do you think that thing that led you into your worse habits would just disappear?

    I had this addiction since I was 13 and my exGF left me because of that. Because I was dependant over PMO, last words she said to me were: “You only think in sex". I cried for several months feeling like the worst piece of trash because I knew she was partly right. She denied my other feelings towards her because it was better to say “I know you love me but you seem to love your addiction more than me". Ever since that I decided to prioritize women feelings over my addiction. Years passed and now I realize there are more important things in life than just not relapsing, and that is being responsible of my own happyness, that way I don't feel like I'm a burden to the next woman in my life because I know any deep relation itself is an amplifier of the best and worst things we have in ourselves.

    So now that you're engaged it is important in this point of your life to really see why are you with her in the first place, and focus your mind into that answer. Of course you also need to create new healthy habits but the center in all of this is to love yourself enough in order to stop this mental garbage, and love her enough in order to give her the life you damn well know better than anyone she deserves.

    Congratulations on your marriage, bro. Never stop to see the light. You will recover :) that's why we're here
     
  3. Wolf2019

    Wolf2019 Fapstronaut

    A suggestion of something you can do right away: cancel all phones and phone plans except for one phone that is necessary for life and work. Cancel all subscriptions to porn services and sites and block those sites from your phone if possible. At night, keep your phone in a different room of the house from where you sleep. If you need an alarm clock, buy an alarm clock, but don't keep your phone in your bedroom. You need to take these kinds of actions at a time when you feel strong to protect the "future you" who will be weak sometimes.
     
  4. Wontgiveupeasily

    Wontgiveupeasily Fapstronaut

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    I can see where you are coming from, this is not a single day process but you would have to do it if you want a good, happy and meaningful relationship. You can begin by having a clean slate as the person above has stated by canceling all the subscriptions and using the phone for proper purposes only. But you would have to go further. The first thing is to have something that keeps you mentally busy so that the thoughts of doing anything else get reduced. The next thing is to ensure that you get some physical exercise so that extra energy can be channeled correctly and you sleep on time. You would have to get a schedule and stick to it. For your mental health, you can also try meditation and yoga. To add to that you need to also get a hobby that involves yourself and engages you.

    You need to also spend more time with your fiancee so that you keep focused on this goal of not relapsing into the behavior you dislike. Try talking to her and your best friend about the struggles you are facing, this website is also a great outlet and you can seek advice here too. Hope that helps.
     

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