HELP IM CONFUSED

im on day 100 and I'm constantly worrying that I won't get better. Flatline from day 20 to 70 and then that weekend my libido cam rushing back, and then day 73 I'm flatline again.. Is that rush of libido on that weekend A sign that my brain is rewiring? I'm paranoid because if pmo isn't my problem then i have a very complicated depression.. It's complicated because I'm in the best shape of my life, I eat well, no caffeine, saunas ect.. Pmo has to be the problem.. 2 and a half years ago I was diagnosed with major depression.. I worked out every day despite the episodes. Was determined to go through it without meds cuz I felt meds would prolong it.. After six months of hard work, it turned into mild depression and been like that since now.. When I look back I think to myself that the mild depression should have only lasted 1-2 months as part of a final recovery phase.. And I believe that's how the depression would of played out if there hadn't been an underlying cause that made kept it alive.. Most likely that underlying cause is pmo.. I pmod for 5 years but it was like 5 times a week on average 1 hr sessions.. Do people with anxiety and insomnia take longer to recover? Half the people here have an underlying anxiety disorder the other half have anxiety from pmo as well as withdrawal, and the latter recover faster prob
Did anyone have the problem that when they pmod, u were 5 strokes away from ejaculating 10-20 videos ago and u just extended it?